Tantric Sex: How & Why to Practice the Most Intimate Form of Sex

Couple embraced in a lotus position looking into one another's eyes

Tantric sex, you’ve heard it’s the most intimate form of sex, but what does that mean? Isn’t all sex intimate? If you feel like you’re just going through the motions when having sex and feel disconnected from your partner, tantric sex may be for you.

Tantric sex is a sexual practice bringing loving partners together by focusing on a mind-body connection. It’s more than just physical sex, it’s designed to create greater intimacy between partners through mindfulness and connection.

What Is Tantric Sex?

Tantra is a Sanskrit word from India, that means to extend, expand and weave. Think about extending and weaving yourself together with your partner to create intimacy to achieve the ultimate sexual satisfaction.

The end goal isn’t necessarily to orgasm but to connect with the sexual partner’s breath and body to become closer and to enjoy the sexual experience together. Tantric sex can also be practiced alone to experience sensations and sexual releases far more involved than just a simple ‘orgasm.’

The goal for the couple is to relax, meditate, connect, discover, explore, communicate, and take a journey together toward sexual satisfaction – and this does not only mean a journey toward orgasm. In Tantric thinking, the orgasm is simply a by-product of the connectedness we feel with our partner.

Kama Sutra is not the same as Tantra. The concepts within each are similar, but they are separate beliefs. Kama Sutra is essentially sex based, while Tantra can extend to practices of Yoga and Meditation – and then also apply those concepts extend to sex.

In tantric sex, getting to know your own body and its pleasure zones through touch is important and so is sharing that knowledge with your partner.

What Are The Benefits Of Tantric Sex?

  • Experiencing a new level of connection with your partner
  • Deepening communication skills with your partner
  • Releasing shame and releasing any sexual blocks you may have
  • Possibly discovering fully body or multiple orgasms
  • Experience longer love making sessions
  • Awakening your sexual energy in a new way you may have never experienced before

The 7 Steps Of Tantric Sex

One essential component of tantric sex, is taking time to become absorbed in oneself – and also your partner. The idea is to create an environment that is free from distractions, an area that is calm, quiet and peaceful. Playing soft music, lighting candles and being comfortable are all especially important in creating that Tantric environment.

You need time and space in which to become enlightened – and this is step one in reaching your goal. Your sacred space should be just that – sacred. Clean of clutter, decorated peacefully, warm, inviting. Since you will be naked – the room should be warm in temperature as well. Nothing disconnects you from your lover like a quaking body. Make the room as tranquil as possible – and make sure you and your partner are ready to put forth the time.
Once you are in your peaceful oasis, sit on the bed, face each other, look into each other’s eyes, and simply – BREATHE. You need to get in touch with each other’s rhythm, similar to Kama Sutra. Breathe in deeply and breathe out purposefully, paying attention to your lover’s rhythm of breath too.  

As you continue to breathe together, you will become more relaxed, closer spiritually, and more in tune. The more ‘in tune’ you are – the more enlightened and connected you will become.
Now it's time to focus on your eye contact. Again, a huge part of tantric sex is building that deep connection with your partner and nothing brings two people together more than maintaining eye contact.

Keeping a deep eye contact connection will make the two of you feel closer and more connected. Traditionally during tantric sex, this is done by looking into your partner's left eye, but if you want to look into both eyes that works too! Whatever you feel most comfortable doing. If gazing deeply into your lover’s eyes is too much, close your eyes and open them again when you are ready.
Tantric sex is not a race to the finish. Instead, it’s about connection, and this connection can’t happen if you're rushing to finish by a certain time. Tantric sex is slow and purposeful – but fun.

While traditional Tantraists will practice the slow seduction for hours upon hours – the average person trying to learn Tantra is not going to have the patience or the willpower to devote such time to it. The idea is not to rush, but to enjoy yourself and get aroused as much as possible.
Some basic ideas here are to caress, stroke, lick, touch, kiss, and otherwise tease and enjoy each other. You can take turns with a slow, seductive massage with massage oils – or simply sit and touch each other slowly.

The idea is to stay clear of the ‘privates’ until you are ready to connect on the next level. You are to pay homage to your lover’s body – all of it – that means ears, nose, neck, stomach, thighs, and feet. You want to become familiar, relaxed, and aroused by the whole person – not just the penis or the vagina.


This is something that can be left out if you're not interested in it at the beginning but delaying your orgasm can really intensify the tantric sex experience. Delaying your orgasm is called edging.

Edging is when you bring yourself right to the brink of orgasm, but when you're about to cum you back off and delay the orgasm. You continue to become aroused and then finally when you are about to lose control, you stop and change focus until you come down from the sexual high.

Then, you slowly build it back up again. This not only builds a tremendous arch of sexual tension, but it also shows self-control, heightens the connection between partners and makes the final release 10 times more intense.

The goal is to become one soul and spirit drifting together – so you really don't have to necessarily end a tantric sex session with orgasm. But, if you have been delaying your orgasms, then eventually, both partners will get to the point when they have to release.

You have to remember that Tantric sex involves a total connection, so as you are preparing to release your sexual tension, make sure to look deeply into your lover’s eyes, feel their breathing, communicate your feelings and then connect on the physical realm.

Once you have practiced tantric sex for a while, it promises to offer more powerful orgasms, longer-lasting orgasms, and also multiple orgasms too.

2 Tantric Sex Positions To Try

Okay, so here's the truth - any position can technically become a tantric sex position as long as you are both comfortable. However, there are a few specific positions you can use while practicing tantric sex that will allow you to be closer and more connected with your partner.


The Yab-Yum is the most traditional and well known tantric sex position. In this position, you're basically going to be sitting on your partner's lap. Have your partner sit down on the floor or bed cross-legged. Then, while you are facing them, climb on top and wrap your legs around their body. Sometimes bringing in a pillow for the person on top is necessary, so if that is more comfortable for you then do that. 



This one requires a bit more flexibility, but is still a great tantric position. Basically what you are going to do here is have your partner sit down on the floor of bed with their legs out straight. Then, you will lower down and rest your knees onto your partner's lap and slowly begin to arch your back. Once you're all the way down, rest your head between their legs and grab on to either their ankles or their feet. 

You can really explore any sexual positions you both enjoy and experiment with sex toys too. To bring in the tantric side of things, try to stay connected with eye contact and keep breathing slowly and deeply, always focusing on your body’s pleasure.

Can I Try Tantric Sex Without A Partner?

Absolutely! Prepare a safe and calm environment for your practice. Light some candles or incense and play some soft music to relax.

Feel your breath by putting one hand on your chest and one on your stomach and taking deep relaxing breaths by expanding your chest and belly and then breathing out.

Explore your body, feeling any tension and massaging it away. Experiment with your body and remember to pay attention to what feels good and enjoy it.

Tantric sex, whether practiced alone or as a couple, is all about being mindful and exploring each other’s bodies for a totally satisfying connection.

Have You Ever Tried Tantric Sex? Let Us Know With A Comment Below!


  • Mraff117

    I have been experimenting for a while. The most successful was after a 2hr session without penetration, she begged for an orgasm. To my surprise this lasted for 3days.
    All she had to do was think of the feelings to reach orgasm again.

  • Kenneth

    The longest massage we have acheived was 2.5 hours long. I didn’t care if she fell asleep because it told me she was relaxed. During the warm up two sleep cycles occurred, Both lasted 14 minutes, but the moans increased af ter the second cycle. Light vulvar massage followed with plenty of lubricant and a feathers touch. I offered my tongue but she declined. We had a little difficulty with penetration. I think next time we will try a differerent position. The great thing about Tantra is that edging reduces sensitivity. Even though penetration was difficult I did not lose the load. Furthermore her G spot was tense and easy to find. “Right there” signals were received and it wasn’t long before she was tapping my shoulders and saying OK, OK. Closing remarks are usually in the order of “Thank you, Dear!”, this time it was "We gotta do that again.


    guess u need a patterner

  • WarriorQueen

    It works. Love it. It’s so hot We called it tell me a all about our adventures. ( job ). It brings us closer together after not see each other

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