Tantric sex, you’ve heard it’s the most intimate form of sex, but what does that mean? Isn’t all sex intimate? If you feel like you’re just going through the motions when having sex and feel disconnected from your partner, tantric sex may be for you.
Tantric sex is a sexual practice bringing loving partners together by focusing on a mind-body connection. It’s more than just physical sex, it’s designed to create greater intimacy between partners through mindfulness and connection.
What Is Tantric Sex?
The end goal isn’t necessarily to orgasm but to connect with the sexual partner’s breath and body to become closer and to enjoy the sexual experience together. Tantric sex can also be practiced alone to experience sensations and sexual releases far more involved than just a simple ‘orgasm.’
The goal for the couple is to relax, meditate, connect, discover, explore, communicate, and take a journey together toward sexual satisfaction – and this does not only mean a journey toward orgasm. In Tantric thinking, the orgasm is simply a by-product of the connectedness we feel with our partner.
Kama Sutra is not the same as Tantra. The concepts within each are similar, but they are separate beliefs. Kama Sutra is essentially sex based, while Tantra can extend to practices of Yoga and Meditation – and then also apply those concepts extend to sex.
In tantric sex, getting to know your own body and its pleasure zones through touch is important and so is sharing that knowledge with your partner.
What Are The Benefits Of Tantric Sex?
- Experiencing a new level of connection with your partner
- Deepening communication skills with your partner
- Releasing shame and releasing any sexual blocks you may have
- Possibly discovering fully body or multiple orgasms
- Experience longer love making sessions
- Awakening your sexual energy in a new way you may have never experienced before
The 7 Steps Of Tantric Sex
1. SET THE MOOD
You need time and space in which to become enlightened – and this is step one in reaching your goal. Your sacred space should be just that – sacred. Clean of clutter, decorated peacefully, warm, inviting. Since you will be naked – the room should be warm in temperature as well. Nothing disconnects you from your lover like a quaking body. Make the room as tranquil as possible – and make sure you and your partner are ready to put forth the time.
2. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BREATH
As you continue to breathe together, you will become more relaxed, closer spiritually, and more in tune. The more ‘in tune’ you are – the more enlightened and connected you will become.
3. MAKE EYE CONTACT
Keeping a deep eye contact connection will make the two of you feel closer and more connected. Traditionally during tantric sex, this is done by looking into your partner's left eye, but if you want to look into both eyes that works too! Whatever you feel most comfortable doing. If gazing deeply into your lover’s eyes is too much, close your eyes and open them again when you are ready.
4. DON'T RUSH
While traditional Tantraists will practice the slow seduction for hours upon hours – the average person trying to learn Tantra is not going to have the patience or the willpower to devote such time to it. The idea is not to rush, but to enjoy yourself and get aroused as much as possible.
5. EXPLORE ALL OF YOUR PARTNER'S BODY
The idea is to stay clear of the ‘privates’ until you are ready to connect on the next level. You are to pay homage to your lover’s body – all of it – that means ears, nose, neck, stomach, thighs, and feet. You want to become familiar, relaxed, and aroused by the whole person – not just the penis or the vagina.
6. DELAY YOUR ORGASM
Edging is when you bring yourself right to the brink of orgasm, but when you're about to cum you back off and delay the orgasm. You continue to become aroused and then finally when you are about to lose control, you stop and change focus until you come down from the sexual high.
Then, you slowly build it back up again. This not only builds a tremendous arch of sexual tension, but it also shows self-control, heightens the connection between partners and makes the final release 10 times more intense.
7. FANTASTIC FINALE
You have to remember that Tantric sex involves a total connection, so as you are preparing to release your sexual tension, make sure to look deeply into your lover’s eyes, feel their breathing, communicate your feelings and then connect on the physical realm.
Once you have practiced tantric sex for a while, it promises to offer more powerful orgasms, longer-lasting orgasms, and also multiple orgasms too.
2 Tantric Sex Positions To Try
Okay, so here's the truth - any position can technically become a tantric sex position as long as you are both comfortable. However, there are a few specific positions you can use while practicing tantric sex that will allow you to be closer and more connected with your partner.
1. THE LOTUS (YAB-YUM)
The Yab-Yum is the most traditional and well known tantric sex position. In this position, you're basically going to be sitting on your partner's lap. Have your partner sit down on the floor or bed cross-legged. Then, while you are facing them, climb on top and wrap your legs around their body. Sometimes bringing in a pillow for the person on top is necessary, so if that is more comfortable for you then do that.
2. THE RELAXED ARCH
You can really explore any sexual positions you both enjoy and experiment with sex toys too. To bring in the tantric side of things, try to stay connected with eye contact and keep breathing slowly and deeply, always focusing on your body’s pleasure.
Can I Try Tantric Sex Without A Partner?
Feel your breath by putting one hand on your chest and one on your stomach and taking deep relaxing breaths by expanding your chest and belly and then breathing out.
Explore your body, feeling any tension and massaging it away. Experiment with your body and remember to pay attention to what feels good and enjoy it.
Tantric sex, whether practiced alone or as a couple, is all about being mindful and exploring each other’s bodies for a totally satisfying connection.