Beginner's Guide To Anal Sex With A Partner

Have you been considering having anal sex with your partner? Are either of you new to anal play? You are likely excited, nervous and even a little bit afraid. These are all natural reactions to having anal sex for the first time. If you have done what most people do when something is new to them and Googled anal sex, specifically, “does anal sex hurt?,” you have most likely read a lot of horror stories about how painful it is, how you will get hemorrhoids, or how you will bleed afterwards. So, let me the bearer of GREAT news – none of this will happen if you follow these important anal sex rules.

STEP 1: Make Sure You're Ready

Just like with any sexual activity, you need to make sure you are honestly ready for it. No sexual activity should ever be embarked upon because you feel pressured, or because you think you will lose a partner if you do not. So, evaluate your feelings on this and make sure that you try it because you are ready and excited to try.

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STEP 2: Trust Your Partner

Again, just like with any sexual activity you have to be able to trust your partner. With anal sex, specifically, you really need to trust your partner. You have to make sure that he is willing to take his time, listen to your bodily cues, stop if you need him to stop. Anal sex is not something that can or should be rushed.

STEP 3: Use Lubrication

Lube, lube, lube and more lube. Good quality, long-lasting lube. Lots of lube. Hey, did I say lube? Listen, the anal canal is not self-lubricating and, in fact, is quite dry and fragile. This means if you do not introduce lubrication to the anal party you stand the chance of tearing the sensitive lining, causing pain, and having a natural drag that is unpleasant to both of you. So lube it UP!

STEP 4: Slow And Steady Wins The Race

I am sure you are both excited. I am even more sure that HE is excited. The tendency to push in fast and furious is tempting, but you need to realize that it takes time to work the penis (or toy) into the anal canal. The canal will stretch to accept the penetrating object, but it doesn’t happen instantly. With lubrication and patience the canal will open. Furthermore, as an exit only orifice it takes time to train the muscles to relax and accept the insertion. Just a little bit at a time – inch by inch – and once it is all the way in, then you can speed the pace.

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STEP 5: Push Out To Get It In

First timers do not understand this very important trick which will make anal much more pleasant. When he is trying to push IN – you push OUT. Yeah, you heard me. When we are trying to open the anal canal to accept the inserting object it works best to push out (like you are having a bowel movement) and this relaxes the anal muscles, allowing insertion to go much more smoothly! So, when the tendency is to pinch and tighten the muscles, you need to follow the reverse and push OUT.

STEP 6: If It Hurts - Stop

The chance that you will have some pain or at very least discomfort with anal sex is pretty high. If you follow the above steps then the likelihood of any real pain is very minimal, however, if you do experience pain – STOP. Pain is the body’s way of screaming out for something to stop. So, if you experience pain ask your partner to stop – hold still – and wait for the pain to pass. You can add a little more lubricant while you are waiting and then start slowly again. If you can’t get the pain to stop, then you should stop and try again another day.

STEP 7: Use Butt Plugs To Make Things Easier

Sometimes in order for anal sex to go more smoothly a little pre-preparation is advisable – this means BUTT PLUGS. Anal plugs are a great way to gently open up the anal canal in preparation for anal sex. Find a small sized plug, use a lot of lube, have your partner gently push the plug in, and then go on with foreplay getting your partner very excited. Remove the plug before anal sex is attempted – use more lube – and follow the other steps until penetration is achieved.

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