Sexual Positions 101
Let me ask you this, have you and your lover ever done “The Cat?” No? Ok, how about the “Yab-Yum?” Not that one either? One more, how about the “Italian Chandelier?” Not that one either? Oh man, where have you been? Do you only do “Doggy style” and “Missionary?” I have come none to soon my friend, you have a whole world left to explore!
Don’t feel bad, many couples get in a rut when it comes to sexual positions. Why? Certain positions work well for them and feel good, so why change? Well, because changing up your sexual position will not only give your love life new fire, but it can also:
1. Increase your chances of having an orgasm
2. Increase your chances of having MULTIPLE orgasms
3. Increase your chances of having a G-Spot orgasm
4. Delay orgasm (help with premature ejaculation)
5. Increase your sex drive
6. BURN MORE CALORIES!
How can switching up positions possibly do all of these things? Well, I am going to tell you – because I believe in education! So sit back, get comfy and prepare yourselves to be enlightened. Hopefully, at the end of this article you will have at least a handful of new positions to try tonight! I will be providing you 5 positions that will make sure you both get the big orgasm, 3 positions that will allow you to have multiple orgasms, 4 positions that will hit her g-spot in just the right way, 5 positions for men with premature ejaculation and 3 positions that will give you the workout of your life!
POSITIONING YOURSELF FOR THE BIG “O”
While it is true that the missionary position is a fairly good position for obtaining orgasm, there is another position which can almost guarantee that the woman will have an orgasm. How do I know this? Well, it is a well-known statistic that approximately 80-85% of all women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, therefore positions which supply this are a double bonus for women. Of course, in a variety of positions the woman may stimulate her own clitoris but if we are talking strictly positioning here, there are a few which are especially effective for either naturally producing clitoral stimulation, or making it much easier to do manually.
1. “The Cat” – Coital Alignment Technique
Women are 3 times more likely to orgasm with this position, and it also does double duty in that it is an excellent position for delaying ejaculation. Therefore, it is a good position for men with premature ejaculation issues to try. It is a fairly easy position to get into, but not so easy to perform.
To do it, the woman should lie on her back totally flat, no pillows under her head. Her partner should get on top and insert his penis, and then line up with her pelvic region. He needs to be inserted so that his pubic bone is pressing down on her pubic area (where the hair is – or would be if she is shaved) and the base of his penis should be outside the vagina – so not totally inside her. Then the woman should wrap her legs around his thighs so her ankles come to rest on his calves. As the two of you lie together, you simply “grind” on each other, not pumping in and out, but more up and down in the same way, and at the same speed. It may take a while to master the humping part, but once you get it, the sensation of his pubic bone on your clitoris in combination with the shallow insertion of his penis should cause delightful sensations and, hopefully, orgasm!
2. Reverse “Cat”
This position works well if the male partner is heavier. You can simply reverse the technique described above, climbing onto his penis and then lie down onto him so you are even with his pelvic arch. He then wraps HIS legs around YOUR thighs as you straighten out your legs. Then you do as described above, grinding up against each other. In many ways, this position might be more successful, as the woman feels like she has more power to control the speed of the grinding, and as she gets closer to her orgasm, she can speed up the pace.
3. “Reverse Cowgirl”
Yes ladies, it is time to “Ride-em Cowgirl,” cause if you do, you just might have an orgasm! As the name implies, the woman in this position is going to ride her partner – in reverse. So, the woman will climb onto her partner – facing his feet, and lower herself down onto his penis. Then, she bends her knees so she is kneeling and she can grind on him in a depth and speed which is pleasurable for her. What makes this position a good one for obtaining the big “O”? Well, because the woman is in control, she can grind in any position which feels good, at any speed which feels good. She can pop up onto her feet (if she is limber and strong enough) and pound him quickly, then lower back down to go soft and subtle. To maximize the “O” potential, this position is fairly well penetrating, and offers some pubic bone rubbing against the clitoris if she bends forward when she grinds on him. Also, if she instructs her partner to arch up it will help to achieve this goal!
4. “The ‘X’ Factor”
This is one of my absolute FAVORITE positions because it is a Tantric position and it always produces many orgasms for me – with my hubby’s manual help. The “X-Factor” is a position which is great on so many levels – good for heavier couples, pregnant women (earlier months), men with premature ejaculation issues, and lesbian couples. The “X-Factor” is sure to stimulate you in ways you would never expect – and your man will love it too.
To do this position, the woman must lower herself down onto her partner’s penis and then SLOWLY, SLOWLY lean herself back until she is lying backwards at a similar angle to him, with her legs extended by his head. When you are correctly in the position, you should look like an “X.” The man’s penis will barely be inside the woman’s vagina – which is what aids to prolonging sex. However, the man’s penis head is what is most sensitive, so he will be very happy with the sensations he receives. The view for the man is extremely stimulating, as he will see his partner’s open legs and his penis entering her. There is very little movement involved in this position, the woman and man can hold hands and “pull” toward each other, or the woman can grab onto her partner’s thighs to pull forward. The man can easily reach the woman’s clitoris – which is what aids in orgasm – and because the penis is riding on the TOP of the vaginal wall, the possibility for a G-Spot orgasm is also present! This position is one overall favorite, and if you try it, it will be one of yours as well!
For Lesbian couples, this position offers you the advantage to use a double dildo to place in between you to gently and slowly stimulate each other, while both of your clitorises are ready and available for play from the other. You can simultaneously stimulate each other while gently easing each other to orgasm!
Of course, if you want to add some Z – as in ZING to the “X-Factor” you can use a vibrator such as a sleek and simple vibe to caress the woman’s clitoris – or both clitorises for Lesbian couples. This helps, especially if the man is a little shorter than the woman, or if you want to attempt multiples! We can all use a little help sometimes!
5. “The Tie-Me-Up-Tango”
Contrary to what this position implies, there is no tying involved. This position is not for the inflexible, as it takes some maneuvering to get into, as well as to stay in position. To do this, the woman gets in a kneeling position and then lies back with her legs folded under her thighs, putting her pelvis at a perfect height for stimulation and penetration. Then, she puts her arms over her head so that her breasts are stretched TIGHT, which makes the nipples extremely sensitive! In this position, her clitoris is open and stretched and ready to make contact with his pubic arch. Also, because she is somewhat vulnerable, he can tease and taunt her with the head of his penis while or before he penetrates her.
This is also an excellent position for Lesbian couples- especially with a double-sided dong, because their breasts will come into contact with each other, which is extremely erotic and sensuous.
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MAKING IT TO MULTIPLES
While it is true that not all women are multi-orgasmic, it is my firm belief that all women have the capacity to become multi-orgasmic. Learning how to be in touch with your body, the sensations of self-pleasure, and how to work through the uncomfortable period following an orgasm are all key when it comes to learning to be multi-orgasmic. With that said, there are certain positions which are wonderful for producing multiples, if you are lucky enough to be a multi-girl – which I am!
1. “Come Again”
This one has the woman on top, but her knees are bent and at her side. To do this, the woman will lower herself onto his penis, and she will then draw her legs up so her knees are even with her chest. Then, she should move her pelvis so her clitoris rubs against his pubic bone. As she gently “grinds” and rocks against his pubic bone, orgasm is obtained through a combination of penetration and clitoral stimulation – the magical combo punch!
Now, if you want to bring this position to a whole, new level – you can use a bullet – such as the My First Silver Bullet and place it down between the clitoris and the man’s pelvic arch – definitely ensuring orgasm and some nice sensations for him.
2. “The Rodeo”
“The Rodeo” also has the woman on top; only her knees are not up as far as in the previous position. Here, she will lower herself on to her man’s penis, and then just use her thigh muscles to “bounce” up and down on him. She can smoothly transition into “Come Again” if she wishes, or if her thighs get tired. The best part about this position is that the woman can recline back, allowing her partner to stimulate her clitoris – or use a sex toy, like a bullet or a finger vibe – to enhance the sensations. It is a deeper penetrating position; therefore, combined with the clitoral stimulation, orgasms normally come fairly easily.
3. “The Hooker”
Another of my FAVORITE positions – this one is not for the “inflexible” as it requires quite a bit of acrobatics. However, if you can do it, the possibility of having clitoral and G-Spot orgasms is high! To get in this position, the man will sit up on the bed (or floor) with his legs bent up slightly (sort of relaxed Indian style) and the woman will lower herself onto his erection. Then she will hold onto his arms or neck and CAREFULLY “hook” her (GET IT, HOOK – HER) legs over his shoulders. YES, both legs. Then, you just gently rock back and forth, and if he can, he can guide her up into him by holding her back and pulling forward. This position is difficult to get into, more difficult to sustain – but WELL WORTH IT! There is little need for manual stimulation, as everything just seems to rub the right way. If the woman gets tired of having her legs up on his shoulders, she can release them and wrap them around his waist, sitting on his lap. Or, he can lie down and she can get on top. It is a great way to start intercourse, and if you can sustain it, a great way to work into multiples!
GOING FOR THE G-SPOT
I am going to assume that not everyone reading this knows what or where the G-spot is, so I am going to explain it – ‘cause I am all about the education. The G-Spot is a small, lima bean shaped area on the upper side of the vaginal wall (tummy side), approximately 2-3 inches in. This spot feels different in texture than the rest of the vagina – it is spongy and coarser in texture than the rest of the vagina – which is normally how it is found. When the G-Spot is stimulated, usually through hard pushing or constant rubbing, it causes intense orgasmic feelings that most women say rivals a normal orgasmic response. All women have a G-Spot, but not all women will ever have a G-Spot orgasm. Only 40% of women who have a G-Spot orgasm will ejaculate – this due to the size of their pariurethral gland – which is what controls the G-Spot response.
Now, to stimulate the G-Spot pressure has to be applied on the upper wall of the vagina AND the woman has to be extremely aroused. Blood rushes to the G-Spot just as it does to the clitoris during sexual excitement. Therefore, any sexual position which maximizes pressure to this area increases the chance for a G-Spot orgasm.
1. “Doggy Style”
Now, I never said that “Doggy Style” didn’t have its place and time – and this is THE place and THE time. The “Doggy” position, when done correctly, maximizes potential for a G-Spot orgasm because the man’s penis should rub on the upper wall of the woman’s vagina. To do this position correctly, the woman should kneel on all fours, her legs parted slightly. The woman should resist the urge to put her face down onto the bed, and instead try to keep her back arched slightly, with her elbows bent or her elbows up and locked. The entry angle changes dramatically when the woman leans forward into the bed – so, resist the urge to be lazy, ladies!
As the man enters her from behind, the sensation should be one of tight and full penetration. The woman may feel his penis hitting her cervix – as this is often a good position to get full penetration. The man can change his penetration to hit the G-Spot by pulling up on her hips and thrusting in a more downward motion. This position is also great for clitoral stimulation if the woman is balanced enough to reach down and play with herself – or to use a vibrator during sex.
A favorite of mine during “Doggy” is to have my man use a vibrator, anal beads or a butt plug on me in my anus while we are having sex to maximize both my and his pleasure. For women who have not had the experience of Double Penetration, it is definitely worth trying and experimenting with, and the “Doggy” position is a great one to try it in.
The “Doggy” is also a great position for Anal Sex – for first timers and advanced players alike. The anus is ready, open and available – the receiver – be it the woman or the MAN is comfortably awaiting the penetration. It is easier to go slowly in the “Doggy” position than in a woman on top position, so I usually recommend this position for beginners. Also, yes, I did mention for a MAN to be getting Anal Sex, and I didn’t just mean Gay men, I meant heterosexual men. Many hetero couples are engaging in anal play with the assistance of a hollow strap-on. This brings a whole new level of fun and play to the bedroom and stimulating the prostrate gland is extremely pleasurable for the man, so if you haven’t tried it, don’t knock it!
2. “The Fusion"
A favorite in Kama Sutra – and also a favorite of my hubby and mine, the “Fusion” is an unexpected position for obtaining G-Spot orgasms. I always have one when I do this position, along with a clitoral orgasm. To get into this position, the man should sit on the bed or floor and extend his legs in front of him, and his arms behind him. The woman should then lower herself down onto his penis. Her legs should be up by his chest and bent, and her arms should be behind her and between his legs. She then uses a combination of her arms and her legs to “rock” herself on his penis in and in and out motion, sort of like a piston.
I know this position seems unlikely to produce a G-Spot orgasm, none-the-less a clitoral orgasm, but the angle and the seductive nature of the position make it highly erotic. Also, if the man is stable enough, he can either support himself with one arm and play with his partner’s clitoris – or, he can lean again the headboard or wall for support and use both hands. Either way, clitoral stimulation can be had for an extra punch to the fantastic stimulation. The only bad thing about this position is if you have bad knees, you will not be able to sustain it for long.
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3. “The Flower Press”
Another favorite of mine, this position is excellent for all types of couples. Great for the G-Spot orgasm, multiple orgasms, heavier male partners, heavier female partners, and pregnant women (earlier months) – it is a sure try for most couples. The woman lies on her back and allows the man to penetrate her – as in missionary position – but after penetration has been achieved, she then raises her legs up and back, until they are either a) on his shoulders or b) on his chest. The man is kneeling up against her and uses her thighs for support and conversely, she can grab onto his hips to help bring him into her. This position allows for extreme penetration and his pelvic arch is against her clitoral area. It also provides a nice rubbing against the top of the vaginal wall because of the height of the man compared to the woman – which is what stimulates the G-Spot.
If the woman is having trouble reaching orgasm, her legs can be spread by her man as he holds onto her ankles, and she can then stimulate her clitoris with her fingers or a clit vibe. Using an intercourse stimulator in this situation is also extremely pleasurable for both the man and the woman. This position often is easy for the man to maintain and is easy on heavier-set men.
This is also a good position for Lesbian or Gay couples. Penetration is optimal between Lesbians when using a double dildo, or between Gay men. It is erotic and sensuous, as the couple is face to face and penetration is deep and thrusting is easily achieved. For Gay couples, having access to the receiver’s penis is extremely desirable and erotic as well.
4. “Rotated Woman”
This is a favorite with both men and women alike because it offers excellent stimulation and a fantastic view. It is one of my “go-to” positions for longer nights, because I know it will make my hubby really excited and cause him to get closer to his orgasm. To do it, the man lies flat on the bed and the woman lowers herself onto his penis facing BACKWARD toward his feet. Then, SLOWLY and CAREFULLY, she leans forward, until she is lying on top of him, her legs outstretched and her hands down by his feet. Then, she can slowly do a “figure 8” motion with her hips to really get him going, or just grab his ankles and slide herself up and down.
The angle allows for the man to watch his penis sliding in and out of her vagina from an interesting angle, which is great for him. Plus, because she is lying down in such a way, her vagina is pulled taught, causing the penis to rub it tightly – hence the G-Spot pressure – and also she gets gentle clitoral rubbing by his balls and legs – which is a pleasant and gentle surprise. The woman is completely in control here, and can set the pace and the depth of the motion – the man is at her mercy.
Sometimes the men in our lives just don’t have the staying power that they – or we – would like them to have. Premature ejaculation – or PE – is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions that men will experience. It is estimated that most men will experience PE at one point or another in their lifetime. It affects young men and older men alike – and no man wants to experience it.
While there are many techniques to help with PE – this is not the article to discuss those. This article discusses sexual positions, and these positions are ones which can help to delay orgasm, and thusly help with PE.
1. “Female Missionary”
Hey, it isn’t the “Missionary” position, it is “Female Missionary” which is different, so don’t even start with me! Plus, I never said “Missionary” was bad – I just said that if that is ALL you were doing, you needed more options! The “Female Missionary” is much as you would imagine, the man lies back and the woman climbs on top of him, lowering herself onto his penis. She will then lie on top of him, supporting her weight on her arms (as the man does in “Missionary”) and extends her legs behind her. She can either spread her legs or close them tight. Each way will cause a different sensation for her and for him. Legs spread is for deeper penetration, legs closed is for more clitoral stimulation.
What makes this position good for PE? Well, because the woman is in control and the man is pretty docile, she can stop the movement and hold still when he says he is nearing his orgasm. Therefore, the couple can practice the start / stop method in a very close, intimate position that will feel very good for the woman, and will take pressure off the man.
The big debate has always been do men like to spoon or not? Well, when spooning becomes a sexual position, I would say they will like it a whole lot! As you can envision, “Spooning” involves cuddling up behind the woman and inserting her from behind. To get in this position, the woman lies on her side and he will snuggle up behind her, as she open her thighs and draws her knees up towards her chest – he will then insert his penis from behind. The movement here is slow and sensuous, and normally very shallow. It is because of the slow, quiet way in which this position is executed that it is good for PE. The man can’t see his penis entering her vagina, he can’t thrust very fast or hard, and there is limited erotic contact. If he feels he is getting close to his orgasm he can stop – and just hold – then start again.
For women who want to have orgasms while helping their men with PE, a vibrator or bullet can be used to stimulate the clitoris – but BEWARE, as you orgasm, your hormonal release combined with the squeezing of the PC muscles will speed him along. So be mindful ladies!
3. “Two Turtle Doves”
Ahhhh, doesn’t this sound like a sweet position to try? This position is good for lighter women, only because she is going to “sit” quite literally on her man. To do this, the man sits with his legs outstretched and the woman inches toward him until he has penetrated her. She then wraps her legs around his back, and he wraps his hands around her back. Then, the couple gently rocks back and forth, grinding slowly into each other. This position is great for her, as her clitoral area is super taught – increasing the sensations. As far as PE goes, it is a slow and passionate position and easy to start and stop in. Therefore, when the man feels his orgasm approaching, they stop rocking and he can fondle her breasts or kiss her, then when the urge subsides, they can continue.
This position is great for Lesbian couples with the use of double dildos or vibrators on each other, because they can look at each other and fondle each other’s breasts while they are having sex.
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4. “The Snake”
This position is great for all couples, even if you don’t have a PE issue. It is a position many couple’s don’t think of, and it will provide surprising sensations. To do this, the woman needs to lie on her stomach and spread her legs wide and the man enters her from behind, supporting his weight on his arms. The unique advantage of this position is that the stimulation of the clitoris comes from the friction of the bed while her legs are spread – which is all good for the woman. Meanwhile, this position offers shallow penetration, which is good for men with PE. He can’t see her breasts, clitoris or face – as they are beneath her, thereby eliminating much of the visual stimulation. Although, if you are a man who gets especially turned on by the idea of taking your woman from behind, this position might not do you justice!
This is also a great position for Anal Sex – for Gay couples, or Hetero couples. The man’s penis rubbing against the bed will produce wonderful sensations as he is penetrated anally by his partner. Doubling the sensation is always a good option for a man.
5. “The Yab-Yum”
I know, you thought I made that one up, didn’t you? “The Yab-Yum” is a Kama Sutra position, and it is probably the best position for PE as well as for any couple who wants to have a super long lovemaking session. The Kama Sutra teaches that lovemaking should be a blending of two hearts, two souls and should last as long as possible. In this position – if you can get into it, and sustain it, you will have a totally different lovemaking session than any you have ever had. My hubby and I practice this on a regular basis, just to reconnect with each other spiritually.
The positioning for “The Yab-Yum” is very similar to “The Two Turtle Doves” but it is not the positioning itself which is important, but what you DO once in the position. So, get into position as above described, and then the woman needs to just “squeeze” her PC muscles. Huh? What? You don’t know what the PC muscles are? Ok, rewind.
The PC or pubococcygeal muscles are the same muscles that you use when you do your Kegel exercises or when you start and stop the flow of urine. They are also the same muscles which contract during orgasm!
OK, so once in the “Yab-Yum” position there is no movement, just a continuous contraction of the PC muscle by the woman. This takes PRACTICE and if the woman has NOT been doing her Kegels, she will find this very hard to do for long. I know, you are thinking that it can’t possibly feel good for the man, but believe you me – it DOES! So ladies, start doing those Kegels, because in this position, sex can last for hours and hours! I personally can have sessions lasting 2-3 hours this way – and if you are really experienced, you can learn to squeeze him to his orgasm without ever moving a muscle – but the PC of course – now that is WOMAN POWER!
Now, if your man seems to be getting to his orgasm a little quicker than you would like, you can always put your legs up onto his shoulders. This will reduce the amount his penis is allowed to enter into your vagina, and give him a little reprieve from the feelings.
SEXERCISE: CALORIE COUNTING
I am willing to bet that many of you didn’t realize that sex actually is an athletic activity and that is does, in fact, burn calories! The joke of course being, “what if sex only lasts 5 minutes?” Well, then you are out of luck! Statistically, a 175 pound person using approximately 150 – 200 calories during 30 – 45 minutes of INTERCOURSE – this means FULL ON SEX – not foreplay. So, I suppose the goal for most people who are using sex as a weight loss option would be to increase their actual intercourse time from about 10 minutes to at least 30! Of course, foreplay does burn calories too, in fact, so does kissing, but it is a much, much less significant amount.
There are a few positions which burn more calories than others – because you are working more than in the more complacent positions. Unfortunately, in some of the positions, only one partner is getting most of the benefit – but hey, we can’t always have it all. Besides, you are still having SEX, right?
1. “The Total Embrace”
This position requires the man to hold the woman completely off the ground – so it will only work if the man is strong enough to support the woman. Not a good position for larger couples. In this position, the woman crawls onto her man, most likely as he sits on the edge of the bed, and then he stands up, supporting her completely. She then wraps her legs around his back and they bounce up and down creating a delicious friction between them. If he gets tired, he can pin her up against the wall for a little break. As you can imagine, the man gets most of the athletic benefit in this position, but both will benefit from the sensations!
2. “The Lap Dance”
Do you ever wonder why strippers are so skinny? Well, because they do all those Lap Dances, silly! The “Lap Dance” is what it sounds like, and is a lot of fun! This position is good for all kinds of couples, and is especially good for the woman as far as calorie burning! The man will sit on a chair and the woman lowers herself down onto him, facing away. If she wants to step it up a notch, she can wear some sexy stiletto heels – this also helps with the height differential. She then grinds and bounces up and down, “dancing” on his penis. This puts the woman in control, allowing her to go as fast or as slow as she wants. Small tip, the faster you go, the more calories you will burn!
3. “The Italian Chandelier”
Again, bet you thought I made this one up, huh? Rumored to burn 912 calories an hour, the “Italian Chandelier” is a great position for fun and is one where the woman has to do a LOT of work. To effect this position, the man lies on his back and the woman lowers herself down onto his penis, then SLOWLY leans backwards, arching her back and supporting herself with her arms. She then has to kind of do a back-bend, up and down motion to start the gyrations, and the man is sort of limited as to how much help he can deliver. This position is HARD on the back, the legs and the arms. I would personally APPLAUD any woman who could do this position for AN HOUR, as I personally can only last about 10 minutes – and then my arms are putty!
PRACTICING THE POSITIONS
Now that I have given you 20 positions to try – I expect all of you to try at least one of them tonight! Don’t expect to be able to master the positions the first time you try them. Many of them take practice, practice, practice – but what better activity to have to work on? Not all of these positions may appeal to you – and that is OK. You can pick which ones you would like to try and just GO FOR IT! Also, just because some of these positions I have earmarked as “Good for G-Spot” does not mean that you will definitely HAVE a G-Spot orgasm, or that if you do not want a G-Spot orgasm you shouldn’t try them. All of these positions are fun and erotic for sex in general – not just for what I have outlined them as being good for.
Having different sexual positions to try can greatly increase your sex drive. Why? Well, because when you have variety, then you are more willingly and excited to get into bed with your lover. Imagine the excitement coming from your man, “Hey honey, which position are we going to try tonight?” or, “I thought that ‘Yab-Yum’ looked so sexy, let’s try it!” It works, I guarantee it, when you add spice to your bedrooms by offering variety, things start to heat up, and you want to have more sex – it is just that simple!
Another thing to keep in mind is even if your man doesn’t have an issue with PE, these positions might help to lengthen your sexual experiences – and that is a GOOD thing for ANY COUPLE! I hope I have enlightened you to the nature of the sexual position, and given you the courage to seek out new and exciting positions for your sex life. This is just the mere tip of the erotic iceberg guys; there are HUNDREDS of positions left to explore! Even if you don’t believe in Tantra or Kama Sutra, you can benefit from the ancient wisdom of their sexual secrets! You can also just GOOGLE sex positions and you will be amazed at what you find!
Personally, I love to be informed, so I read, read, read everything that I can to increase my sexual knowledge and enhance my sexual performance. Hopefully, you will do the same! So, good luck and have FUN! Authors Note and Credit: Many of the names for these positions came from the books, The Little Bit Naughty Book of Sex Positions by Siobhan Kelly and Mabel Iam’s, Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra and The Kama Sutra both which Mikayla has read many times and practices these positions with her partner on a regular basis.
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