Deepthroating 101

Deepthroating can be very intimidating if you've never done it before. This is a skill that can be acquired - and, yes, even faked! What is it exactly you ask, tentatively stroking your neck. Deepthroating is when, during a blowjob, you take your lover’s penis and allow it to slide down your throat as deeply as you can. Hence the term: deep-throat-ing! If this sounds scary and a bit uncomfortable, or you've got a fear of gagging, don't worry! These concerns are 100% normal. 

With all sexual acts between you, your partner or anyone else involved, be sure you have all openly discussed and have received mutual consent from everyone involved on all sexual activities. Deepthroating can take a lot of time to practice and communication, trust and respect in you and your partner is absolutely essential.

THE 3 BEST POSITIONS FOR DEEPTHROATING

There are three positions that are helpful in learning how to deep throat. The idea is to make it so your throat is extended to allow the penis to slide down naturally, without encountering your tonsils. Imagine sword swallowing!

(1) The best position for this is when the giver lies on their back with the head positioned off the edge of the bed. The receiver then stands at their partner's head and the receiver slides their penis into his/her mouth and down his/her throat. As the giver bends their head backwards, the throat naturally extends, the tonsils go to the side and the tongue lies flat. This is also an erotic visual for the receiver as they can actually see the neck expand as their penis goes in deep!

(2) The second best is with the giver kneeling. The giver will allow the penis to slide down the throat gently and as they are ready to go more deeply, they are able to look up toward the man, thereby extending the throat and providing a natural opening. The receiver may have to bend their knees or push up on their toes to get the right angle. This position may not work for all couples depending on the height of each person.

(3) The third best is the 69 position. Because you are essentially lying on your stomach on top of your partner and their penis is facing your throat, your neck automatically extends and you can take their penis down deeply. This can be a more tricky position for first timers or for those who can’t concentrate during oral sex.

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE PLENTY OF LUBE & SPIT

Having a wet and lubed throat is absolutely essential for comfort while performing a deepthroat. Anything will slide into you more easily if you have lubrication! With deepthroating this means lots and lots of saliva (or, and oral sex lube works too!) Make sure that you have the penis slippery wet so that your hands will slide all around easily, and then you know you are ready to deep throat!

STICK YOUR TONGUE WAY OUT

Here is a little known fact: when your tongue is not slightly extended out of your mouth and flattened (like when the doctor examines you and makes you go “ahhhh”) your throat is not fully open. If you have tonsils still (as I do) this is even MORE important. So, you need to make sure that your tongue is extended out past your lips and flattened as much as you can manage so that your tongue makes a sort of runway for the penis.

DON'T RELAX YOUR THROAT MUSCLES

OK what I am about to tell you flies in the face of any article you have most likely read on deethroating: DO NOT RELAX! I do not mean generally, I mean your throat! When you try to relax your throat you actually counteract the process of opening your throat. When you force yourself to “yawn,” meaning opening your mouth wide and make the “yawning” motion, your tonsils move to the side and your throat opening gets as wide as possible. This allows you to accept his penis with less resistance.

DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE!

It is absolutely imperative that you not forget to breathe! Since in a successful deepthroating the man’s penis will block off your ability to breathe through your mouth you have to become adept at breathing through your nose. You've also got to take his penis out of your throat every so often to get a full breath! This means that once the penis is in your throat, you do not have to keep it there until you pass out! Make sure you are taking breaths and can breathe well enough during your oral escapades!

GAGGING CONCERNS?

Probably the biggest worry from women who are new to the idea of deepthroating is “I AM GONNA GAG AND THROW UP ALL OVER MY MAN!” Gross! While it is estimated that about 25% of people have severe gag reflexes (the kind that can’t even brush the back of their teeth without nearly throwing up), most people have only moderate gag reflexes. The gag reflex is a natural reflex. It is designed to keep foreign objects from choking us. We can, however, train ourselves to ignore that reflex. It is MIND OVER PENIS! How, exactly, do we do this?

(1) First, we have to allow ourselves to get used to the feeling of an object hitting our palate (the top and back of our throats), the uvula (the piece of skin that hangs at the back of your throat between the tonsils), and our epiglottis (the area down past the tonsils). How do we do this? Practice. We allow our partner’s penis to hit these areas a little at a time, removing the penis when gagging starts. Then, repeat.(2) Second, do not over think it! If you are constantly thinking about how your man’s penis is in your throat and you are going to gag – well, you will. You have to get into it. Enjoy the moment with your man; enjoy how much pleasure he is getting from it. Think about THAT and not about how his penis is in your throat!(3) Third, hum. Yes, HUM! There is a reason it is called a hummer. When we are humming we are doing 2 things: thinking about humming a tune (so takes our mind off of it) and we are relaxing and extending the throat at the same time, allowing the penis to come down our throats more easily. Plus, it feels amazing to him!

IT'S OKAY TO FAKE IT

I mentioned in the beginning of this article that I would tell you how you could “fake” the feeling of deepthroating. If you simply can’t achieve it – for whatever reason – but still want to give your partner the semblance of the same sensation there is a way to sort of cheat it a bit. Now, keep in mind nothing can replace the feeling of actually being deepthroated, but this will feel darn good. To do this you take your tongue and put it on the roof of your mouth, effectively blocking his penis from sliding down your throat. You then stroke him into your mouth, letting your partner's penis push your tongue back farther, but creating a tight spot between your tongue and the roof of the mouth. This allows your partner to feel like they are going deeper when you really aren't! In any event, it will still feel good!

FINAL THOUGHTS

Deepthroating is not necessary to be able to pleasure your partner. It is also not something that will come to just anyone naturally, but takes time, skill and patience! Try to master all the oral sex skills before you move to the deepthroating! Have fun, be enthusiastic and do not be upset if you gag or cannot do it the first time around! It takes time, don’t give up and most importantly: HAVE FUN!

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