How to Have Better Sex: 7 Ideas to Improve Your Sex Life

Photo of a man and woman passionately in bed together kissing.

Sex – that one thing that every couple wants to be fantastic in their relationship! Having better sex takes practice. It takes thought and preparation. It takes an adventurous spirit. It also takes a couple who embraces their sex life enough to want to continually make things BETTER between them.

Sex is an ever-changing, constantly adapting, super-fantastic part of a healthy relationship. So, if you are having good sex (and I do hope you are!) and you want to know how to have even better sex, then read on and hopefully, these ideas can inspire you a bit.

1. Communicate Honestly & Respectfully

I am sure at least some of you who are reading this are thinking, “How can talking about sex allow me to have better sex?” Well guess what, it can, and it does. Talking with your partner about your sexual expectations, how you think your sex life is in general, what you may like more of during sex (like more oral sex), and what you really, truly enjoy during sex is very important.

Communication allows us to have an openness with our partner that feeds a healthy relationship and fosters a fantastic sex life. Being honest as we communicate is most essential. If you tell your partner you love anal sex, but secretly hate it, well, this is not a way to have a good sex life (or relationship). So, communicate honestly about your desires and see how much better sex gets.

2. Be Open To New Experiences

A sex life is a living, breathing thing. It is not meant to be the same every time, it is not meant to stay still but change and grow. In order to do this, a couple must be open to trying new experiences. That can be as simple as trying new positions, entertaining fantasies that your partner has (or being honest about your own fantasies), or stepping outside of your comfort zone a bit. Being open and honest in general can be a lifesaver for a sex life.

Often, we get sort of stuck in the idea of what ‘works’ or what feels good, and we do not change. While this can be OK, it is not going to make anything better, as it will be the same as the standard. It can even be boring and who wants boring sex?

Remember that change is good. It might be intimidating at first, but being open with your partner will let new experiences join the standard experiences, and this is a great way to vary and improve your sex life.

3. Bring Sexy Back

Do you remember at the beginning of your relationship how much time and effort you spent just getting ready for sex? Shaving all your parts, putting on matching underwear, perhaps a new pair of boxers, and some cologne. We all primp a bit for sex – women maybe more so than others – and sometimes we tend to forget that act of seduction. We get into a routine of sex and we forget to seduce our partner.

Don’t forget about the space where you’ll be having sex. Reduce the clutter, get rid of work and the piles of laundry. Light a candle, spray a scent, turn down the lights, and put on some music that both of you can appreciate. Having a calm, clean space will help you relax and get your sexy on.

Bringing sexy back into the bedroom is a great way to continually make sex better. When we consciously choose to put our all into sex it is impossible for it not to be better and better. So, shave those parts, ladies, get some new lingerie, and do your hair and make-up. Dudes, get some new undies, find a sexy cologne scent your partner likes, and give them those bedroom eyes!

Make the effort like you used to in the beginning and watch that sexy come roaring back.

4. Make Sex A Priority

This one takes a few different forms. First, you have to make sex a priority in your relationship and this means HAVE MORE OF IT. Yes, you have a job. Yes, you have kids. Yes, you are busy. However, once that honeymoon stage of a new relationship ends it is important to make time for sex. If you are not having sex, how can sex get better? Well, to be straight up with can't, so make time for it.

Secondly, make sex a priority by investing in it with the above suggestions. Talk to your partner about their desires, wants and fantasies. Would you be open to bringing toys into the bedroom? What are the things you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

Educate yourselves by reading about new sexual trends and positions or watch some porn to get things juicier. In short, treat sex a little bit like an exam you are about to take and study up, then put the ideas to work! It’s the best exam you’ll ever take!

5. Relax & Enjoy

Practice touching, caressing, and reconnecting with your partner. Breathe and relax. The goal is to enjoy each other, not to sprint to orgasm. Reconnect with your partner and remember why you fell for each other in the first place. Try not to rush it and fall into the same routine.

When you are committed to setting time aside for sex, try to leave all the mundane daily life concerns out of your private time. Reconnect with the person, not the chores, grocery lists, or recent news in the world. Enjoy each other as unique individuals.

6. Perfection is Overrated

Your partner doesn’t care if you’re not perfect. They aren’t thinking about body parts not being as high or lean as they used to be. Let yourself relax about your body image. If you’re stressed about the right position or the perfect body part, your partner will feel it and it will kill the mood. Your partner will be turned on if you are. 

Remember the brain is the biggest sex organ. Fill the brain with positive and sexy thoughts and be ready to act on them.

7. Don't Settle

Finally, the main thing every couple can do to have better sex is to never settle for unsatisfying sex! I know it seems like common sense, if you are not enjoying your sex life do not settle for it. Many couples get caught up in the idea that “sex is not that important” or “I love my partner not just sex” and then they let lackluster or mundane sex be the norm.

Sex takes work, it takes commitment and it takes each person in the couple to decide if their sex life is satisfying to them. If it is not, then do not settle! Try to make it better by using all the tactics above. If both people want to have a better sex life, then both will work at it. Remember to make time and space for reconnection to up your sex game. There is no other way.

What Are Your Tips For Better Sex? Let Us Know With An Anonymous Comment Below!

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