What Do You Do When You Find Out You Have ED?
If you are a man who is having any issues with his penis getting or staying hard then you know the embarrassment, confusion, frustration and anger that goes along with it. Your penis is your compadre, he should never let you down. However, statistically, 90% of men will have some issues with their erections in their lifetime. This means “whiskey dick” all the way to serious medically induced ED, to age induced ED. So, when I say “It happens to all of you” – I truly mean that it does. So, if you are looking for answers on what to do if your penis is not cooperating – or if you have been formally diagnosed with ED – then read on, help is here.
CONFIRMATION IS KEY
As I wrote above, most men will have instances of ED in their lifetimes, so the very first thing you need to do is to make sure that your issue is not a one time or situational thing. There are many things that can cause ED to happen once or a few times. Here are just a few reasons ED can happen:
• Medicinal side effects. Certain medications (anti-depressants for one) can cause ED issuesLoving Couple In Bed
• Alcohol or drug impairment. Yes, it is true, some men will experience ED if they are too drunk, stoned, or otherwise impaired
• Weight Gain. Some men will experience mild to moderate ED if they gain a substantial amount of weight. Usually the effects are reversed if they lose the weight.
• Stress or conflict. Women are not the only ones affected by stress in a relationship. Some men will encounter ED if there is a problem with their partner.
Once you have ruled out the above (of if the ED does not improve with discontinuation of the medicine, when sober, when the weight is lost or if the conflict is resolved, it is imperative to have a diagnosis by a urologist or other medical doctor. There are tests that they can do to find out just how severe your ED is, as well as offer you medicinal help (Cialis, Viagra) when appropriate to combat it.
WHAT COMES AFTER THE DIAGNOSIS?
If a doctor has diagnosed you with ED then he has most likely told you how severe it is and if there is anything you can or should do to help. Some ED is caused by blood flow issues to the penis (meaning, the valve that keeps the blood IN the penis when you have an erection is not working properly). There are surgeries and medications that can help with this. There are many therapies (talk and sex therapy), along with other methods such as penis pumping or penis training that can be tried.
However, you are most likely very embarrassed and upset that this is happening to you. The last thing you want to do is to share this with your partner, or even think about having sex again. You may contemplate becoming a single hermit and just living a life of chastity. Don’t do this. Yes, you need to process this information and do some research (perhaps coming to this article), you need to allow yourself to come to some sort of understanding with yourself that this will impact your sex life but it doesn’t have to end it. Yell, scream, cry or even laugh if you want, but get all those emotions out, and then move on to the next step: telling your partner.
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HOW TO TELL YOUR PARTNER
No matter how embarrassed you are, you MUST have an honest conversation with your partner about what is going on. The primary reason is that relationships need to be based on honesty. The next pressing issue is that if you are having ED issues, or if you have been avoiding sex, your partner may begin to think that it is her fault or that you no longer find her attractive. It is unfair to allow her to feel this way if it has nothing to do with her. So, it is absolutely essential that you tell your partner. Sit her down and explain things to her, tell her what the doctor said and what he recommended. Keep in mind it may take some time for her to adjust too, so be comforting and explanatory. Together you should be able to find ways to enjoy your intimacy.
Women are not always as understanding as you may like. It is sad for us to lose your penis too. Especially if you have been pulling back from us sexually, we may be confused, scared and upset. Here is where research and finding out the important information becomes important. Give her the literature from the doctor, show her articles on the net, and reassure her that this is not her “fault” or doesn’t have to do with her at all.
WHEN TO TELL A POSSIBLE PARTNER
If you are not married or do not have a steady partner you may be wondering if or when you should tell a future partner. Well, the answer to that depends on how severe your ED is. There is no reason to tell your partner that you have to take a little Cialis once in a while. Especially if it is the first time. However, if you have substantial issues with sex the first time with this new partner then it may be time to have a talk. Of course if things get serious and steady between you then having the conversation becomes more pressing.
THERE IS MORE TO A RELATIONSHIP THAN SEX
This is very true, especially in long term relationships – there is more to it than sex. Yes, sex is an important to a couple, but it is not all there is. Not only that, but there are more options than just physical intercourse. Intimacy takes many forms and includes a wide range of sexual actions – fingering, oral sex, cuddling, kissing, toys – all can be experimented with in order to keep the physical bond between you. What is most important is that you both figure out ways to keep this intimacy alive. If you refrain from having sex, or stop the moment you start to have a physical issue, then the relationship will fall apart. Not based on lack of sex, but based on lack of intimacy. If you and your partner understand what is happening to your body and can find other ways to enjoy each other, then that will be the glue that keeps you together.
FIND SEXUAL AIDS THAT MAY HELP
It goes without saying that you want to please your partner. There are many ways to accomplish this, and one of the best ways is to shop together for sexual aids that can be used on those occasions when things do not go the way you would like. This can include Vibrators and Bullets – to increase her pleasure. Penis Pumps and hollow strap ons are great things to try depending on the type of ED you have. Hollow Strap Ons are a wonderful solution to ED because it will allow you to place your penis – even if completely limp – into a hollow dildo. In this manner you can continue to pleasure your partner in the same way as intercourse, thereby maintaining that closeness.
Many couples who experience ED say that bringing sexual aids into the bedroom made things super exciting and that it took the pressure off of the man to “perform” which, in turn, sometimes made the episodes of ED less frequent. Not to mention what man wouldn’t like to see his partner getting off with a sex toy? The idea is to turn the negative into a positive, to think of ways to continue the intimacy, and to keep having fun in the bedroom. ED is not the death sentence of your sex life. Remember that there are medications, toys and therapies which can really help you. You just have to be willing to try them.
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