10 Sexual Problems Couples Face
Wouldn’t it be ideal if you and your significant other never had any sexual problems? Of course it would, but that is nowhere close to realistic. Every couple will experience a sexual problem at one time or another. This even applies to new relationships as equally as established relationships. The truth is, sexual issues happen and it is how you work through them that will affect how your relationship progresses.
1. Different Libidos
It is extremely unusual for the two people in a relationship to have the exact same strength of libido. Usually, one person will have a much higher or much lower libido than their partner does. So, if this is your situation how do you handle this? Whether you have the higher or lower libido, both sides can be very frustrating. Realizing that your partner is not as into sex as you are or that you have lost your libido can be extremely disheartening. The key to dealing with mismatched libidos is to talk about your desires, wants and yes, needs. To come to a compromise where both of you have a chance to have your needs met. Seeking counseling or a medical opinion for extremely low libidos can also be an important step. The most essential thing is to not suffer in silence.
2. Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction affects most men at one point or another in their lives. However, some men will have more severe ED than others or will react extremely to one bout of it! While a woman can have a sexual dysfunction and “fake” it through sex, a man can’t do that. If the penis doesn’t get erect, there is nothing that can hide it. So, what do you do if your issue is your partner’s ED? Well, don’t panic first of all. Get all the information you can. Find out the reason for the ED, and perhaps get some medication to help with ED. If you are the woman it is essential NOT to freak out or make a huge deal about it, as this will just make the man feel worse.
3. Sexual Dysfunction
Men are not the only ones who can have sexual dysfunction, women can suffer too. In fact, sexual dysfunction is very prevalent with women over 50, and can also happen in younger women. Whether it is painful sex, lack of ability to lubricate, low libido, or even just a general dislike for sex, when a woman has sexual dysfunction it can be just as frustrating for a man as it is for the woman when her man has ED. The key here is to not freak out and find the reason behind the dysfunction. It can be hormonal (especially in pre or post-menopausal years), a side effect of a medicine (anti-depressants especially), psychological (post trauma), or physical (like malformed vaginal canals). Getting the appropriate help from a doctor, specialist or psychologist is essential.
Life happens and when it does people tend to get exhausted. Children, careers, responsibilities, household chores – all of these things take a toll on a person and on a couple. Sexual issues arise from exhaustion when a couple fails to make time to relax and connect as a couple. Yes, exhaustion or just overall being busy with life can cause sexual problems in that no one has the energy to have sex. So, how do you stop life and make time for sex? You schedule it in. You make it a part of your schedule. You allow sex to be put into your life so that sex can help you to relax. Exhaustion and busy schedules does not have to be a sexual problem if you make a concerted effort for it not to be.
5. Being Sexually Lazy
In accord with the aforementioned, some couples simply become sexually lazy. They fail to realize how important the intimate connection is. It is easy to get comfortable, and thereby lazy, in an established relationship especially. Not making the effort – or making very little effort in bed – will really harm the relationship. If your partner seems to be lazy or just plain content when it comes to the lack of sex, then try to entice him or her. Initiate sex. Try to liven things up. See if you can reawaken the interest.
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6. Routine Sex
Having sex with the same person (or even a new person if you never vary your “moves”) can become routine, redundant and, yes, boring. If you knew that you were going to have the same sex, with the same foreplay, the same 4 minutes of humping and pumping, followed by a lackluster finish would you want to have sex? Probably not. While it is sometimes OK to have routine sex for the sake of maintaining the sexual connection, it is not OK to let a relationship falter due to this routine sex. Make an effort to switch things up, to try next experiences, or to just do something different. This can make all the difference.
7. Outside Influences
Our life is never just us anymore, and there are more outside influences that can get in between us and our partner. Porn, internet, social media, television or any other readily available electronic enticement can take us away from our partner. If you notice that your partner (or you) are avoiding sex in lieu of these other activities you may want to take stock. After all, having actual sex with a live partner has got to be better than watching sex on a computer screen or playing Candy Crush!
8. Feeling Unsexy
What a wonderful world it would be if we all felt sexy about our bodies! The truth is, however, most of us do not. We may hate our boobs, our butts or feel that our penis is too small. Perhaps we have gained some weight or have lost some hair. When we feel unsexy our sex life will most likely take a dive. We want to feel sexy so that we can be sexy for our partner. Even if he or she tells us we are sexy, we have to FEEL it inside. So, how do you fix this? You need to practice self-love and play up those aspects about yourself that DO make you feel good about yourself. If you have great boobs – wear a sexy bra. If you know you look good in black, then wear more of it. Play up your assets and by all means have a sexy attitude.
9. A Cheating Partner
Unfortunately, some people cheat on their partner. Whether they cheat for no reason at all or simply because they can makes no difference. Some people justify cheating because they are having one or more of the above referenced sexual problems. Undoubtedly, a cheating partner causes a rift between the couple and then becomes its own sexual problem. How do you fix this? Talk, don’t cheat!
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10. Conflicting Schedules
If your partner works nights, but you work days how do you make sex a priority? Perhaps your partner is on a revolving schedule where you do not have any idea when they will work. Do you plan sex? Conflicting schedules can become a giant issue in the bedroom, especially when any of the above mentioned issues happen at the same time. Exhaustion is a huge issue with revolving schedules. How do you fix this? Have sex whenever there is time to have sex. Make sex a priority. As with many of the problems in this article, just making an effort to put sex into your life is the best way to remedy it.
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