5 Common Reasons Your Partner Could Be Turned Off

Photo of a woman in bed with a man and feeling disconnected.

There are many aspects in life that can be turn offs, and no one can 100% avoid doing them all of the time. However, it can still be frustrating if you're getting the feeling that your partner is uninterested in you, or turned off in some way by what you're doing. Especially if you don't know exactly what it is that you're doing.

There are plenty of reasons for your partner to be 'turned off' and not all of them will fall on you. Some of these will be quick fixes that you can change, but there are other mental health related reasons that are actually going to be on your partner to make changes to fix. Now, let's look at 5 of the common reasons you partner may be turned off.

1. Messy Environment

If you're about to have sex, and you look around to see dirty laundry and old dishes - you're not going to feel particularly sexy. This can, and most likely will, make anyone feel like they suddenly don't want to have sex.

Please, for the sake of EVERYONE, clean your environment. And yes, I mean your kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom. Invest in some candles, air fresheners, cleaners, anything to help your partner feel sexy.

2. Lack of Hygiene

This one is hanging on the red flag line, if someone's partner has bad hygiene - it's going to ruin any sex appeal they once had. Ladies, gents, non-binaries, everybody, PLEASE keep up with hygiene. It will benefit you, and anyone you encounter. If your partner is feeling 'turned off', and you know you haven't brushed your teeth today - there's a good chance that is why. 

3. No Safe Space

If you aren't establishing a healthy and safe space for your partner, they are not going to be comfortable with you. This can lead to feeling hesitant when it comes to diving under the sheets with you. Sex is an intimate and emotional act, and people often need to feel comfortable with their partner in order to enjoy it.

If you sense any uneasiness, start a conversation about it. Ensure your partner that you come from a place of love, and non-judgement. Everyone deserves to feel comfort and safety in their relationship. 

4. Stress

Stress is something that you cannot always control for somebody else. Your partner may be dealing with something at work that you cannot control or even help with. Unfortunately, stress can take a toll on anyone's sex drive. A lot goes into orgasms, and they often require a lot of mental stimulation. If your partner is feeling stressed, offer an erotic massage first - this can help them relax and feel more in the mood.

5. Lack of Effort

If you aren't showing your partner any effort while having sex, it will make it a lot harder for them to feel the mood. It can dishearten them and make them self-conscious as well. None of these feelings are things you want during sex, it will lead to an unsatisfying experience. Make the effort to show them how much you care about them and their pleasure. Even a little will go a long way.

What Turns You Off? Let Us Know With An Anonymous Comment Below!


  • Just Shell

    Porn abuse has ruined everything! Don’t get me wrong I like porn, but my man has gotten so that all his foreplay and effort goes into porn and himself then after a while, “babe roll over.” Then he still watches it while he uses my body. Talk about cold! Another turn off is changing positions too many times. If you are not picking me and keep changing positions to try and make it feel a certain way then you are overthinking it and nothing is going to happen. Just focus on me and lete focus on you and trust me nature will take it’s course.

  • Jewels

    When they always ask how do you want to do it or what position do you want.to do next just do what comes to mind both of you its like a dance you don’t ask what step do you want to do now unless your trying something new there may need to be guidance other than that just flow together

  • Don

    Hair in mouth during oral sex . Both partners should be neat, preferably shaved but at a minimum closely trimmed with no loose hairs.

  • Don

    Hair in mouth during oral sex . Both partners should be neat, preferably shaved but at a minimum closely trimmed with no loose hairs.

  • Gigi

    Mainly wet sloppy oral sex! For most of the night.

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