Tips for Reinventing Disabled Sex

Woman in a wheelchair enjoying nature.

There are plenty of ways you and your partner can participate in mind-blowing disabled sex that’s sure to satisfy both of you. Give your libido what it craves by following TooTimid’s relationship and disability tips for better bedroom fun!

Explore New Sex Positions

Chances are you already have your favorites, but experimenting with different sex positions is a great way to get creative in your relationship. Many well-known sex positions can easily be modified to accommodate you and/or your partner’s specific needs. If you’re not sure where to start, check out our suggestions!

  • Modified Cowgirl—Cowgirl is already pretty accessible as far as sex positions go. In reverse and classic cowgirl, one partner sits on top of the other’s groin and rides their cock or strap-on. Pillows and sex furniture like wedges can make this position more comfortable for both users. Couples also have the option of turning onto their sides for low-stress anal or vaginal disabled sex.
  • Modified Doggy Style—This position is great for anal and vaginal penetration. One partner can sit in their wheelchair or on the bed while penetrating their lover. This position usually works better if the person sitting on their lover’s lap can maneuver comfortably to achieve this position.
  • Modified Missionary—An oldie but a goodie, modified missionary is ideal for anal and vaginal penetration. This position does require some mobility and works great for couples where one partner can stand at the edge of the bed to penetrate their lover.
  • Sideways 69—69 is another classic many of us can picture without too much difficulty. Unfortunately, this position can be uncomfortable or require too much effort for even able-bodied couples. Sideways 69 is a modified take on this popular sex position that people can enjoy during non-disabled and disabled sex! Throw in some sex toys for additional sexy stimulation!
  • Spooning—If you’re looking for a low-impact, sensual position, spooning is perfect for accommodating your relationship needs and disability! Couples with limited mobility or joint and chronic pain can utilize their mattress’ cushion and support for a more comfortable coupling. The partner fulfilling the role of the “big spoon” can also reach around to stimulate their partner’s erogenous zones manually or with a vibrating sex toy.

It’s also worth mentioning that penetrative sex isn’t all there is. There are many positions where oral sex and manual stimulation are more accessible and just as rewarding. The possibilities are endless!

Involve Your Mobility Aids

A couple lying on the bed together with only their legs pictured

Most individuals who require wheelchairs, walkers, braces, and other mobility aids are well aware of the misconception that disabled people are sexually unattractive. This toxic stereotype can create harmful barriers between able-bodied and disabled people that may affect the well-being of the latter.

Allowing your partner to utilize your mobility aids during disabled sex can alleviate this fallacy. It’s understandable as a disabled person to hesitate with this tip—all too often people with mobility limitations are fetishized because of their mobility aids. If you have an able-bodied partner and are concerned about this, ask for reassurance that they’re attracted to you and not your aids.

Your partner should know that although your disability status does not define you or your personality, it does play a huge role in how you interact with the world and the people around you. By inviting your partner to engage in disabled sex with mobility aids, your partner can reaffirm that they accept this part of your life together.

Add Sex Toys

Any sexually active couple can benefit from bringing adult products into the bedroom. Many sex toys for couples are great for adapting tricky sex positions and providing additional stimulation that can end in mind-blowing climaxes. Toys are great for exploring your body and sexuality regardless of relationship status or disability, while items like lube can make sex more comfortable

As you and your partner discover what works and doesn’t work when having disabled sex, introducing sex toys like dildos, strap-ons, finger vibes, and anal plugs is a great way to delight each other’s senses in new ways. Individuals who live with back or hip pain can use handheld or automatic thrusting dildos to satisfy their partner’s love of penetration. If oral sex is difficult or uncomfortable, many toys mimic oral sex. Slow things down or speed them up by massaging your partner’s clit or cock with a vibrating wand. Finger vibes are another fun little way to get your partner to cum, especially if you’re manually stimulating them from behind in sex positions like spooning or modified doggie style. There are plenty of ergonomic sex toys out there to try out and experiment with!

Invest in Sex Furniture

A couple using a door sex swing for penetrative disabled sex

Another way you can reinvent your sexual relationship and disability is by investing in quality furniture. There are many types to choose from and each offers its own pros and cons.

  • Wedges—Wedges are great for all couples enjoying disabled sex and make amazing disability aids in the bedroom. Lying on top of a wedge can take the stress off of painful joints and allow your partner to enter you with more ease. Try different angles and explore new sensations!
  • Sex Swings—Interested in bringing power dynamics into the bedroom? Try using a sex swing! Sex swings are a popular type of sex furniture that suspends one person in the air, making it perfect for accessible disabled sex. The person in the swing can be maneuvered however their lover sees fit. This leaves one partner in a far more vulnerable position, so communication is key before jumping in.
  • Fuck Machines—Couples interested in penetration but lacking the means to achieve it may want to try an industrial fuck machine! These big boys are a serious investment that offer hours of endless pleasure. Grab your favorite lube and dildo attachment, get comfortable, and turn your lover on as they watch you climax.

With a few helpful tips, you can kick your sex life into overdrive and experience orgasms like you never have before! At TooTimid, we’re passionate about helping everyone achieve their best sex life. Let us help you spice up your relationship!


  • Henry

    Diana, did you ever get an answer? I’m in a relationship, and I’m the able bodied one.

  • Diana

    How I can give my able bodied boyfriend cowgirl when I have spastic diplegia cerebral palsy? I would prefer a formal response. Thank you.

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