Lots of people enjoy giving blow jobs, but the honest (and statistical) truth is that more than half of all sexually active people do not give their partner oral sex. There are various reasons for this in regards to blowjobs from “it’s gross,” to “it makes me gag,” to the perennial favorite, “my partner smells funny.” Whatever the deterrent is, it’s time to learn to love giving oral sex because it’s an important part of an enjoyable sexual relationship that imparts intimacy and, well, it will make both of you happy. Below our experts have put together 5 tips to help you to start enjoying the blowjob experience:
1. Learn to Love the Muskiness of Your Partner
Yes, your partner uses to their penis to pee . Yes, there is hair on it. Yes, it can smell a bit like musty sweat when it has been in their pants all day. I know there are valid issues with smells and so how do you get past that?
Have them shower (or shower with them) of course! Personally, I find my partner's smell down there to be rather intoxicating, but if you want them to smell like Irish Spring soap or smell fresh and clean, then encourage them to do a little pre-oral shower or wash. Then you can enjoy without the distraction of the smells you may find unappealing.
Another thing to try would be oral sex gels. There are all sorts of flavored gels on the market that will make a penis taste like all sorts of fruits and candy, while also drowning out any offensive odors. The flavored gels, such as the Strawberry Lube shown below, will also add an extra silky feel, making it easier to glide their penis around your mouth.
2. Have Your Partner Landscape Ahead of Time
Does your partner need to do some landscaping down there? As adults, we do have pubic hair down there. It can get into your mouth or wrap around your tongue during oral sex. This can be a distraction and feel sort of icky. I admit it. However, this is a very, very simple thing to prevent.
If your partner seems resistant to removing their pubic hair just remind them that their penis will look much larger without all of the hair down there, that might help encourage them. Also tell them that without the untamed tangle of hair, you would be much more willing to give them amazing head - they'll be running to the shower!
3. Prepare Yourself for the Gag
Many people say they can’t stop gagging when they have a penis in their mouths. Yes, oral sex can be a bit tricky if you are out of practice AND you can gag if you put it too far down your throat. However, there are many tricks to teach yourself not to gag so you can give oral like a pro!
Your partner isn’t looking to get all the way down your throat, your partner just wants you to give them some nice oral attentions and enjoy it while you do. There are some simple steps to learn how to give gag-free head.
- Try to concentrate on just the head of the penis. If you are new to giving oral, go slowly. Swirl your tongue around it. Lick the underside and flick your tongue around on it. Suck it in with some suction power. Move it in and out of your mouth with teasing and tantalizing flicks of your tongue. Experiment with just getting used to putting it in your mouth and enjoying it.
- Use your hands. If you are really prone to gagging then let your hands help you out. If you slick up your hands with spit and slide them around the penis while you are sucking and licking on the cock head, then you will give them more stimulation and it will feel like you are paying attention to the entire penis.
- Don’t forget the balls. Balls will not make you gag so pay attention to them! Lick them, suck them gently, and get them wet and slippery. Be tender since it’s a very sensitive and stimulating area.
- Take it down your throat a little at a time. Find a position that is comfortable for you to be in charge (on your knees, on the bed, sideways) and take a little more of the penis into your mouth. Then retract. Do not force yourself to really take it in, just go slowly and get used to how it feels sliding in and out of your mouth.
- If you're still struggling, try using a desensitizing spray like the Good Head Deep Throat Spray shown below that will help you resist the gag a little more and make things feel more natural.
4. Listen to your Partner
As you are doing all of these things, pay attention to your partner's reactions. Their moans of pleasure, the way they run their hands over your hair, their little movements that indicate pleasure. See how much they truly enjoy what you are doing to them. THIS, above all else, is what is going to make you love giving them oral sex.
If you love (or generally care for) your partner and their pleasure, then this will be the biggest incentive for you to learn to love oral sex. Being able to give your lover these wonderful and erotic sensations, making them weak at the knees, having absolute power over them while you give them oral is the absolute best high there is when it comes to sex!
Everyone should love giving their partner pleasure – that is why they love to go down on you – so take the time to really pay attention to your partner and how they react to your mouth and tongue.
5. Embrace the Power of Giving Pleasure
Thinking of the pleasure you can give them will make you feel powerful and sexy. You can use head for getting them excited and hard or you can have the blowjob be the main event. Either way, there is absolute power in giving your partner good (or, great) oral sex! Being able to render them helpless with your mouth, shivering with the anticipation of the touch of your warm tongue – oh yes, the power can be and should be absolutely intoxicating to you.
Embrace it, use it, know that you are a sexual diva who can rock their world with your mouth. Do it for them – and do it for you too! Knowing how much pleasure you are giving them will make you love it more and more and more each time you do it. Leave them breathless with each new trick you add and enjoy hearing them say, “Oh my God, thank you…."