How to Prepare Yourself for Anal Sex

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Real Talk: Anal Sex

Have you considered trying anal sex but weren't quite sure how to go about it? Anal sex makes many people cringe at the various misinformed thoughts and negative experiences that can be found on the internet. 

Maybe you were worried that it will hurt, it will be messy, or you just wondered what it will actually feel like?

Really, there is no reason why every couple can’t be enjoying anal sex. And I do mean ENJOYING, especially if you prepare correctly! 

Keep reading for the best tips so you can learn how to prepare yourself for anal sex!

Comment below with your anal sex prepping tips!

First, Relax & Think Anally

Image of a person sitting with legs crossed in a relaxed yoga pose. Read on for our best tips to prepare yourself for anal sex and be in a positive state of mind

It may sound silly, but yeah, you gotta get your mind in the anal game, and mentally prepare. This is true for both newbies and for experienced anal players. For first timers, you have to allow yourself to enjoy the experience by trying not to taint it with all the “fears.” If you continually think “it will hurt, it will hurt” – guess what? It is more likely to hurt.

However, if you prepare yourself and realize there may be some discomfort, but you know how  to minimize that, then you will have an enjoyable experience. For those more experienced with anal play, getting into the right mindset is still a crucial step to get ready for the experience and be able to connect with your partner!

Purchase Some Lube

Image of drops to stress the importance of using lube for anal sex. Read on for the best lubes and expert tips to prep for anal play

This part is SO important. Anal without lube is a no-no. Repeat: Lube is a friend not a foe! The anal canal does not self-lubricate, and contrary to what you may see in porn, spit doesn’t work! You need lube and lots of it.

The next supplies you'll need if you plan on having anal penetration with a partner are condoms. If you are practicing safe sex (which everyone should) then you need a condom! Condoms protect from STDs (yes, you can get them through anal sex) as well as offer a protective “poop” barrier. One extra thing you may want is anal desensitizing cream or gel. Some people find it easier to relax when they have a product made to lessen discomfort, but we do NOT recommend this for beginners until you get used to the sensations of having anal sex. At least in the beginning, you should not be numbed to any potential pain which is your body's way of telling you when to stop or slow down.

Recommended Product: TooTimid Water-Based Lube
Image of our best-selling water-based sex lubricant

TooTimid's top-selling Water-Based Lube is a silky smooth, long-lasting lubricant that is safe for use with all types of condoms and anal toy materials! Apply plenty of lube before starting anal play and reapply as needed!

Recommended Product: Lube Inserter
Mess free lube shooter

This Lube Shooter makes it easier to put lube right where you want it without making a mess! You can easily apply a generous amount of lube to make anal sex more comfortable and increase your pleasure!

Do Your Pre-Cleaning & Preparation

Image of a clean towel. Read our guide to the best anal hygiene tips and steps to prepare for anal sex

A quick freshen up before sex is a good idea no matter WHAT kind of sex you will be having, but for anal sex, it is especially important to clean up the area to prevent spreading any bacteria that may be present. Empty your bowels about 30 minutes before you plan to have anal sex, and wash with soap and warm water or use a gentle, unscented baby wipe.

Start With a Butt Plug First

Image of a butt plug showing how to use an anal plug to prepare yourself for penetration. Read this article for more expert tips to prep for anal sex

Anal plugs are wonderful inventions. Used alone, they can add a little anal stimulation to sex or to masturbation. Used as a prep device, they gently stretch the anal opening and will then make any subsequent anal insertion less uncomfortable. If you squirt some lube on a plug, and insert it during foreplay, then by the time you are ready for anal sex the insertion will go much more smoothly! Furthermore, there are lots of plugs which are very fun and cute to use – such as the jeweled plugs or the animal tail plugs! Or start with a beginner anal plug if you're just starting out.

Recommended Product: Cherry's Vibrating Butt Plug
Purple vibrating jelly anal plug

For even more exciting sensations, try a vibrating anal plug like Cherry's Vibrating Twister! This slim, textured plug is flexible enough for beginners and has 10 functions of strong vibrations to boost your arousal!

Talk It Out & Communicate

Image of speech bubbles with question marks. Keep reading for the best tips on how to talk to your partner before anal sex

This one is just for the newbies (if you have a new partner or this is something you have never tried with your partner before). You need to TALK to your partner about it. Whomever is doing the anal insertion (whether with fingers, toys, or penis) needs to pay attention to your physical and verbal cues.

If you say "Stop!" or "Go slow!" or "Take it out!" – that partner needs to listen and do what you ask. The person who is getting anally penetrated is the person who will know if it hurts, if there needs to be more lube, or if it is just too much for that night. Listen to each other and respect the limitations of your partner.

You're Ready To Rock

Image of a peach emoji. Read this article for the best expert tips and products to prepare yourself for anal sex

At this point you should be ready to rock and roll. Even though this is an article about how to prepare for anal sex, not how to have it, here are just a few reminders for the actual act itself. First of all, remember to go slow! You don't need to take the penis or dildo inside of you all at once. Go very, very slow. Listen to your body and, again, keep the communication line VERY open with your partner.

Secondly, if you're in pain whatsoever, stop. Again, listen to your body. Anal sex should NOT hurt! So if you're in any pain you really should stop for today and just try again in a few days. Sometimes it just takes a little practice, but before long, you'll be able to explore this new realm of pleasure and achieve incredible anal orgasms with your partner! It all comes down to the right preparation!

Do's and Don'ts for how to prepare yourself for anal sex. Read this guide for all the best anal sex prep tips
Your Quick Wrap Up

  1. Prepare your mind, buy a good lube & butt plug
  2. Get as comfortable as possible!
  3. Lube it up
  4. Enjoy foreplay with the butt plug in
  5. Lube it up, again
  6. Go SLOW & talk to your partner!
  7. Relax and relax and, oh, RELAX
  8. Enjoy! Yes, really. Enjoy!

Have You Ever Tried Anal Sex? Let Us Know Below In The Comments!


  • Tom

    I’m an older white bi married guy. My wife lost her sex drive after menopause and I’ve had to go solo ever since. After sucking a lot of cocks over the years a bi married black friend introduced me to anal sex about 8 years ago. I absolutely loved it. He and I have been together on the sly ever since. We’ve had some threesomes and I’ve tried other guys, but my friend of 8 years is the best. If anything ever happened to my wife I’d probably ask him to move in so he could fuck me every night. Prep is the key. Keep it clean and it will be a great experience. I use an anal rinse before he fucks me and it, along with lots of lube, makes all the difference in the world. My sex life has never been better!

  • Will

    Anal sex is exhilarating when it’s done with care: 1. Start small 2. Go slow 3. Lots of lube 4. More lube. 5. Maintain intimacy with partner ( and even self ) 6. NEVER hurry 7. Relesh the journey.

    As time goes on, if you enjoy the stimulation to the amazing nerves in your ass, diversity in anal play is achievable. Just put safety first always and you should discover some of THE most
    mind shattering orgasms of your lives.

    I wish you all enjoyable sexual lives on whatever level that suits you best. ✌😎

  • Bicurious

    Even with preparing, I still find it very difficult to be completely cleaned out without spending a lot of time myself first using rinses, douche, etc. is there a full proof way of cleaning everything out like expert level?

  • Irma

    I had a very embarrassing moment
    I had done do cleaning prepared and it was messy I was so embarrassed .

  • Irma

    I had a very embarrassing moment
    I had done do cleaning prepared and it was messy I was so embarrassed .

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