Everything You Need to Know About Anal Sex: Tips, FAQs & More!
So you’re curious about anal play. Maybe you’ve thought about it, maybe your partner hinted at it, or maybe you tried it once and… let’s just say it didn’t go how the movies make it look.
Totally normal.
Anal sex has a reputation for being mysterious, intense, and kinda scary but also kinda intriguing, and honestly? That’s fair. But here’s the good news: when you understand how the body works, use the right lube, and take it slow, anal can be incredibly pleasurable — for all genders and bodies.
By the end of this guide, you’ll know:
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How to prep your body (and mind)
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How to avoid discomfort
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The real deal about poop + hygiene
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Toys and finger techniques to ease in
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How to talk about it with a partner
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What to expect before, during, and after
Ready to turn “Hmm, maybe?” into “Okay YES, let’s do this right”?
Alright… let’s talk lube.
Rule #1: Lube Isn't Optional - It's EVERYTHING
Okay, if you take away nothing else from this guide, take this:
Lube is the difference between “nope nope nope” and “oh my god, yes.”
The anal canal doesn’t produce its own lubrication, so if you skip lube, the tissue can feel dry, tight, and irritated — and that’s where discomfort comes from. With lube, everything feels smoother, safer, and way more pleasurable.
And we don’t mean a dab.
I mean more than you think, and then a little more.
Use lube:
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On the toy or fingers
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Around the anal opening
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Inside — yes, a fingertip with lube helps everything relax
Think of lube as easing the door open instead of trying to kick it in.
Types of lube that work best:
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Water-based lube: safe for all toys, easy to clean, great all-purpose choice
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Silicone-based lube: ultra-slick, lasts longer, great for extended sessions (just don’t use on silicone toys)
Anal-specific lubes are a thing, and they’re amazing
Many include ingredients like:
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Bisabolol – naturally soothes and calms the tissue
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Lidocaine – lightly numbs for comfort (great for first-timers)
Totally optional, but if you’re nervous, these can help make everything feel more relaxing and controlled.
Shop Our Anal Lube Collection - Click Here!
Quick note on cleanliness:
If you're someone who gets anxious about mess (again — totally normal), you can rinse beforehand with a beginner-friendly anal douche. You don’t need to every time, but if it makes you relax, go for it.
Comfort = better orgasms. Always.
Rule #2: Only Use Toys Made for Anal
We know — this sounds dramatic, but it's important.
The rectum doesn’t have a “stop.”
If you insert something without a flared base or retrieval loop, your body can literally pull it upward… and yes, that’s an ER trip.
So for toys, look for:
✔️ Flared base
✔️ T-bar base
✔️ Ring pull loop
No base = no go.
Rule #3: Never Go Butt ➜ Vagina Without Cleaning First
Bacteria from the butt does not belong in the vagina — it can cause infections fast.
If something goes in the booty, it either gets washed before going near the vulva again, OR it stays dedicated to anal-use only
And just FYI — butt plugs don’t go in vaginas. Different muscles, different needs.
Alright, Now Let's Talk Technique
Warm up first — for real
The booty is used to things exiting, not entering.
So your muscles need time to relax and get comfortable.
Great warm-ups:
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External massage around the opening
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Deep breathing
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Rimming (oral stimulation around/at the entrance)
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Finger play with lube
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Starting with a small anal toy or plug
If you’ve never had anyone back there, rimming + a lubed fingertip is a fantastic way to build comfort before anything bigger gets involved.
Slow = sexy
Slow insertion + steady breathing = your body welcoming the sensation.
A trick that helps every beginner:
Push out gently like you're going to the bathroom as the toy/penis enters.
It relaxes the sphincter and makes insertion sooo much easier.
Totally normal. Totally helpful.
Pressure vs Pain
Pressure/fullness = normal
Sharp pain or burning = stop & add more lube / go slower
If pain happens, pause — your body just needs more time.
The anus has more nerve endings than the vaginal canal — which is why anal play can feel incredibly intense when done right. Sensation city!
Start With Fingers or Training Toys
Before a penis or full-size toy, begin with:
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A finger (with trimmed nails + lube!)
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A slim training plug
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A beginner anal bead set
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A small vibrating plug for extra relaxation
Training sets are amazing because you can gradually size up at your own pace.
And yes — you can wear a plug during other play for an incredible build-up!
Talking with Your Partner About Anal
Bringing up anal shouldn’t feel like you’re making a confession — think of it more like saying, “Hey, I found something spicy and I kinda want to try it with you.”
You don’t need a speech. Just curiosity, honesty, and a little flirty confidence.
Try something like:
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“So, uh… I’ve been curious about trying anal. Would you be open to exploring it together sometime?”
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“Random question — how do you feel about anal stuff? I think it could be really hot if we try it slowly.”
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“Okay, don’t laugh — but I kinda want to try anal. We could take it super slow and use tons of lube.”
The vibe?
Open, light, and curious — not pressured or awkward.
And once you bring it up, keep talking:
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What sounds exciting?
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What feels intimidating?
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How slow do you want to go?
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Do you want a safe word or signal to pause?
The more comfortable you both feel talking about it, the better the experience in the bedroom.
Anal Play Is For Everyone
Let’s clear up one of the biggest (and silliest) misconceptions right now:
Enjoying anal play has nothing to do with your sexuality.
Bodies don’t lie — and for many people, the booty is a seriously pleasurable zone, regardless of gender or who they’re attracted to.
The anal canal has nerve endings that feel good for everyone. And for men, there’s also the prostate — an ultra-sensitive gland inside the rectum that can deliver deep, intense orgasms when stimulated.
So to be crystal clear:
Wanting to try anal, use a plug, or enjoy prostate play does not make someone gay.
It makes them curious, open-minded, and tuned into what feels good.
Pleasure isn’t gendered, and it isn’t a sexuality test — it’s just pleasure.
If you have a prostate, you get an extra bonus zone.
If you don’t, the sensations can still be amazing.
Bottom line?
Anal play is for anybody who wants to explore it — period.
FAQ: Let's Clear Up the Big Questions
“Will there be poop?”
Possibly a tiny bit — and that’s totally normal.
Bodies are bodies, and the booty is literally designed for that. With lube, slow pacing, and a little prep (like a quick rinse or a wipe), most people are surprised at how clean anal play actually is. No shame here!
“Will this stretch me out forever?”
Nope! The anal muscles naturally contract and return to their usual shape when you're done.
They only stay relaxed while you're using a plug or having anal play — they don’t just stay stretched open, lol. Think “flexible muscle,” not “stretched balloon.”
“Can it feel good?”
YES — wildly, intensely good when done right.
Anal nerves are super sensitive, and if you use lube, start slow, breathe, and relax, the sensations can be deep, full-body, toe-curling delicious. It’s totally normal to be nervous, but millions of people swear by it (for a reason!).
Beginner's Toy Picks (TooTimid-Approved)
Because when you’re ready to explore, it’s nice to have a curated list instead of scrolling in panic.
Beginners Silicone Anal Training Kit
If you want to ease in slowly (highly recommended), this 3-plug kit is perfect.
You start with a slim plug, then move up only when your body feels ready.
Soft silicone, tapered tips, comfy to wear, and super beginner-friendly — it basically holds your hand through this whole journey.
Jeweled Metal Plug
This cute plug gives you an erotic look and a more "full" feeling to intensify your orgasm! This decorative metal plug comes in 3 different sizes and colors so even beginners can experience the thrilling sensations of this sensually smooth material!Cherry's Vibrating Twister Butt Plug
Vibrating Prostate Stimulator
is smooth, 100% silicone massager is curved to hit your prostate perfectly and comes loaded with 10 vibration, pulsation, and escalation functions so you can find your sweet spot fast. The slim shape slips in comfortably, and the pull-ring base makes insertion and removal easy and secure.
Final Thoughts
Anal play doesn’t have to be scary, messy, or painful.
With lube, patience, communication, and the right tools, it can be one of the most intimate and intense sexual sensations you experience.
Go slow. Stay curious. Listen to your body.
And remember — pleasure is a skill, not a race.
When you’re ready to try, check out the beginner-friendly toys above and choose what excites you most.
Your booty adventure awaits!
Read More
Keep learning with other articles and guides written by our sex experts:
Back in the day of pagers and flip phones, my ex Jill loved anal. She was also gifted with communicating and pushing limits. She would talk while jerking me off and giving head about her anal orgasms. Which led to her inserting first a finger , two four then a vibrator. Fantastic which became a good pegging and crossdressing. It is not that easy to find another woman so open to play. Still to this day I get the urge for a good pegging but had several painful attempts. Unti your tip of pushing back, then pop I got a thick rabbit vibe all the way in and was able to drift through several orgasms while changing modes with a remote. Thanks for the push back tip. Now I need a Somme to peg me. Happy times in my ass. Thanks for the tip
I love getting pegged but I haven’t found the right one still looking
So I’ve done anal play before. But if I’m really worked up it’s hard to get the plug out. Like it’s suctioned in. Help?
I have the Dev prostrate massager. I enjoy using it, but I wonder if I am doing it correctly. I don’t recall there being any instructions. Do I insert it with the curve going up or away?
Me and my boyfriend have been having anal sex for at least a year now not all the time but pretty often and I kinda enjoy it sometimes but sometimes I still have to ask him to stop the problem that I’m having is while we’re having anal sex and I’m enjoying it all of a sudden it will just change and start to hurt and then when we’re finished sometimes I will sit on the toilet and feel like I have to poop but I can’t and it’s very uncomfortable and hurts for a long time afterwards and also will feel like it’s swollen or something and even tho we’ve done this many many times it seems like im still just as tight as the first time it makes me nervous every time he first enters me and also not always but sometimes it will burn a little and that’s no fun so if you could please answer any or all of my questions that would be awesome because I’ve looked online and other people’s q&as and for some reason nobody else seems to have this stuff happening to them I can’t find any answers anywhere so hopefully you can help me out thanks
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