Let’s begin this article by asking this question, “Do you know what / where a prostate is?” First of all, only men have a prostate gland. It is a tiny, walnut shaped gland located between the bladder and the penis. The urethra, which is how urine exits the body, runs through the prostate and into the penis. The prostate can be reached (and stimulated) by placing a finger (or a prostate stimulating toy) into the rectum approximately knuckle deep. It is located on the bottom floor of the rectum. During sexual arousal, the prostate swells (sort of like the female G-Spot) and stimulating it can be very intensely pleasurable.
Why Does Your Man Want “Butt” Play?
Simply, it feels good! If you have ever had anal play you know that it can be extremely arousing, and because he has a prostate, it only enhances and intensifies the pleasure. Sure, homosexual sex stimulates the prostate, but a heterosexual guy gets a lot of benefit from this as well! Just because he is asking you to explore his nether region a little more fully doesn’t mean anything about his sexual preferences.
Prostate pleasure is an equal opportunity exercise. He may be asking out of curiosity, or he may have ventured up there himself via his own fingers or a toy and he knows how great it feels. Or, in some cases, some men who have had, let’s just say, vigorous bowel movements know how pleasurable this stimulation can be. So, he wants it because it makes him feel good.
Are The Orgasms Really More Intense?Uh, yeah. Much like a G-Spot orgasm for a woman, a P-Spot orgasm is equally as intense. Some men say it makes the orgasm last longer, others say it is simply the most intense orgasm they have ever had, and others proclaim it to incite multiple orgasms. During orgasm the PC (sphincter) muscles will contract around the finger or prostate toy and this makes the stimulation extra intense when he most wants it. In short, men agree that an orgasm that includes prostate stimulation is better than a standard orgasm – and that is a win-win for everyone.
What If I Do It Wrong?
Hopefully you are willing to go on this journey with your lover, but you may be concerned that you will “do it wrong” or hurt him in the process. These are legitimate concerns, and there are some rules to prostate stimulation that can help to make it all pleasure and no pain. These rules are:
1. USE LUBE
Lots of lube. No matter whether you are using a finger or a toy, you need to use lube. The rectal canal does not lubricate. At all. And the skin is delicate. So, whenever something goes UP, the lube must go up too.
2. GO SLOW
Anal penetration for anyone is not meant to be a quick endeavor. You have to take your time and work your way up there. For first timers especially, the tendency is to clamp down and not allow anything up there. Even if they want to experience it, they tend to tense up. So, go slowly. Use lube, push in steadily and slowly, and never just jam your finger or toy up there indiscriminately.
3. FIND THE SPOT
Whether you are using a finger or a toy, once you hit the spot you will know. Not only can you feel the difference in texture (feels like a semi-hard fluid filled sac), but he will tell you that you have found it.
4. STIMULATE IT, GENTLY
Unlike the G-Spot which requires VERY firm and constant pressure, the P-Spot requires gentle stimulation. Rubbing little circles around it, gently pushing on it, and just overall gently stimulating it will render much better results than if you push too hard. You can actually internally bruise him if you try to push too hard.
5. COMBINE WITH ORAL SEX OR A HANDJOB
While prostate stimulation is pleasing all on its own, it is even MORE pleasurable when combined with oral sex or a hand job. Some men even masturbate themselves or use a masturbation sleeve during stimulation. Combining this with other actions is the best way to deliver the most intense orgasm.
6. USE TOYS
There are MANY prostate stimulating items out there and they are wonderful because they tend to go right to the spot, offer the correct pressure, and make it easier for you to continue oral sex or a hand job during the prostate play.
The Effort Is Worth The Reward
Once you experience prostate stimulation with your partner it will become a repeated event. He will get so much pleasure from it, and his orgasm will be so intense that you will want to continue to give him that much pleasure! Sure, it may take some planning and some prep to do, but the effort will be worth the reward. Once you have tried via finger stimulation, you may want to invest in a simple prostate stimulating toy. There are many available in different girths and styles, and some even vibrate! Talk about bringing him to the next level.
Sexual pleasure is meant to be explored and enhanced. When we try new things with our partners and they get extreme pleasure from it, we are making our partner happy, but we are also growing intimately. So, when your guy asks you to stick a finger “up there” go ahead and tell him "SURE"! Get out some lube and give it a shot. Have fun and enjoy the power and pleasure you will give him. I am most sure he will reciprocate the effort as well.