8 Normal Things to Expect During Anal Sex

Anal sex has gone from hush-hush to hell yes—and we’re here for it. Between better lubes, smoother toys, and a lot more honest conversation, backdoor play is finally being recognized for what it can be: another amazing way to experience pleasure.

Still, first-timers (and even the curious veterans) don’t always know what to expect. There’s a lot of mystery, a few lingering myths, and—let’s be honest—a fair bit of fear.

Here’s what’s completely normal to expect for when (or if) you decide to give anal a try!

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1. Fear

A little fear before trying anal is 100% normal. If you’re the receiver, you might worry it’ll hurt. If you’re the giver, you might worry about hurting your partner. It's completely normal an very healthy to be nervous. It mean you care about safety (especially for the receiving partner), and doing it right.

Fear serves a purpose—it slows you down and makes you pay attention. And that’s exactly what you want when exploring something new, like anal.

Tip: Talk about it first. Communication is the best antidote to fear. When both of you feel safe and informed, the nerves start to melt away.

2. Hesitation

Once you’re ready to actually start, don’t be surprised if there’s some hesitation on both sides. The anal muscles naturally tighten with anticipation or anxiety—that’s the body’s way of saying, “Are we sure about this?”

The receiver may instinctively clench, and the giver might pause when they feel that resistance. That moment of “wait, go slow” isn’t a bad thing—it’s your cue to breathe, add more lube, and move only when everyone’s ready.

3. Resistance to Insertion

Even with lubricant (and you need plenty), it’s totally normal to feel resistance at first. The anal canal has two sphincters—muscles that hold in and push out waste—and they take a little coaxing to relax.

The trick is steady pressure, not force. Push a little, pause, let the muscles adjust, then continue slowly. Think of it as a trust exercise for your body.

Pro Tip: If you’re the receiver, try gently pushing out—like you’re going number two—as your partner or toy begins to enter. It might sound counterintuitive, but that outward motion actually helps the muscles relax and makes insertion smoother and more comfortable.

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4. It Goes From Uncomfortable to Really Pleasurable

The first few moments might feel unusual—a bit of pressure, maybe even mild discomfort—but once everything relaxes, pleasure starts to take over. Anal stimulation hits nerve endings that aren’t touched during vaginal sex, so the sensations can be deeper, fuller, and more intense.

If you have a clitoris, adding a bullet vibrator can heighten the experience. If you have a penis, a slow stroke or handjob at the same time can send things into overdrive.

Pro Tip: Focus on rhythm and breathing. Once the body adjusts, it goes from “weird” to wow pretty quickly.

5. Sh*t Happens

Let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the very normal human function. Yes, poop might happen. You’re playing in an exit, not a sterile tunnel. Even with good prep (like an enema or a shower rinse), a little residue is possible.

It’s nothing to be embarrassed about—it’s biology. Use a condom or lay down a towel if you’re worried about mess. Then, laugh it off, clean up, and get back to enjoying yourselves.

Pro Tip: If you’re super concerned about poop residue (especially on your partner’s penis or toy), consider using an anal douche before play.

Our Top Pick: Anal Douche Enema Bulb — the perfect choice for beginners, available in 3 sizes, easy to clean, and designed with a smooth nozzle and tapered tip for comfortable prep.

6. Post Sex Leakage Also Happens

What goes in must come out—and that includes lube, semen, and air. It’s totally normal to experience a bit of leakage afterward. A quick trip to the bathroom, a gentle push, and a wash-up usually do the trick.

And yes, you might fart afterward. Air can get trapped in the anal canal and needs to escape. It’s normal. Awkward? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely. Just remember, sex is supposed to be fun, not flawless!

7. Feeling of "Loose" Muscles

After anal sex, you might notice your muscles feel looser or less responsive for a short while—usually anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour. That’s just your body’s way of recalibrating.

The anal muscles will naturally tighten back up on their own. If you go to the bathroom right after, you might feel a bit “off” pushing—but don’t worry, that sensation fades quickly.

8. Soreness, Not Pain

It’s common to feel a bit sore afterward—especially if you’re new to anal. That tenderness is just the muscles saying, “Wow, that was different.” It should fade within a few hours.

There might be minor irritation or even a tiny spot of blood, especially if you didn’t use enough lube. But pain or heavy bleeding are not normal. If you experience significant bleeding, stop immediately and seek medical attention—you may have an anal fissure or tear that needs professional care.

Pro Tip: The more relaxed you are, the less sore you’ll feel later. Think foreplay, deep breathing, and generous lubrication—your three best friends for good anal.

Final Thoughts

Anal sex doesn’t have to be scary, messy, or painful. With communication, patience, and the right prep, it can be one of the most intensely pleasurable experiences you share with your partner.

Everyone’s first time is different—but whether you’re just curious or ready to make it a regular part of your routine, know this: everything you’re feeling is normal.

So take your time, lube up, and most importantly—have fun exploring.

Would These Things Scare You Away From Trying Anal? Let Us Know Below!