Why Less Sex May Equal More Love

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It seems like everyone is evaluating the frequency of the sex in their love life. Is 3 times a week average? How about once a month? Once a day and twice on Sunday? What is a sign of a healthy relationship? What happens when you are having less sex but still happy in your relationship? Does less sex mean there is a problem? Keep reading, you may be surprised.

In the start of a relationship when everything is new and exciting sex seems to be an all the time thing. You leave parties early to have sex. You make it through half of a Netflix movie to have sex. You wake up early – have sex. Stay up late – have sex. In essence, you are having A LOT of sex. This is because your relationship is new and your partner is new to you. Beginning sex can only happen, well, inthe beginning and really is not comparable to any other time.

Eventually as the relationship continues and grows the two of you will become more comfortable with each other. You go to bed WITHOUT your make-up on. You talk to each other from the bathroom. You skip a night or two of having sex to, you know, watch the ENTIRE movie. Oh sure, you are still having sex – and maybe frequent sex - but it is no longer that “I have to have as much sex as possible” sex because there is comfort in knowing your partner is not going anywhere and that, well sex will be there tomorrow too. This is an interesting transitional phrase for many couples and can sometimes cause confusion. Thinking that your partner is no longer interested in you sexually can be a hard thing to work through. In reality, though, it has nothing to do with desire. It has to do with comfort.

Try These New Things In The Bedroom!

Eventually, sex becomes less frequent. This stage is really subjective to each couple as many couples will still have frequent intercourse while others may have a very dramatic shift. The important thing to remember about this stage is that what is replacing sex is a life outside of the bedroom. You and your partner may be seeing movies, going out to dinner, walking together, and shopping, cuddling or just being together in some comfortable, loving and regular manner. Life replaces sex and this is important and should be comforting.

So when this shift happens in the life of a couple it is inevitably an indication that the couple is growing. That the urgent “I have to get enough sex right now” stage has settled into the intent that the couple will be together for the long haul. This does not mean that sex disappears all together. Quite the contrary. Sex actually gets better and the intimacy deeper because the couple is in love, comfortable, secure and truly enjoys being together in and out of bed. Yes my friends, less sex often means more love. Now isn’t that grand?

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