Things Men Can Learn From Mr. Grey

I know that billions of women have read the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy, and millions will flood the theaters to catch a real-life (sort of) glimpse of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in action. But I have one question, what about the fellas? There have to be men who are reading these books, right? I love that all of these women coming into their sexually adventurous selves, but other than pouncing on their men in a new way...where do men fit into the mix? Can guys benefit from the Fifty Shades hype? YES! Can they benefit even when their ladies haven’t read the books and aren’t expecting a Christian Grey in the bedroom? Absolutely, positively, yes! Here are 10 Things That Men Can Learn From Mr. Grey!

1. UNDERSTAND SEXUAL FANTASIES
If there’s one thing that Mr. Grey does, that you take from this crazy craziness with Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s understanding women’s sexual fantasies. You may have heard that Mr. Grey is very controlling and dominating - and he is - but he also knows exactly what Anastasia likes and doesn’t like through sexual exploration. No matter how big (costumed roleplay) or small (a little spank here and there) her fantasies are, you should know them like they are your own. Actually find out what she desires from sex and don’t assume that it’s the same old stuff, or the same as your last lady! Then, of course, act on them.

2. FIND PASSION ELSEWHERE
Find your love in and out of the bedroom. No, I’m not saying you need to go out and have sex in public (unless that’s your thing). You do, however need to be passionate about more than just what is in the confines of the bedroom! Get out and find something you love and do it! It’s all about the work, play balance with Mr. Grey. Even when you’re amazing at pleasing her, if that’s all your life is, you’re going to get real boring real fast. Find a passion. Show some conviction. Get the girl.

3. BE MERCURIAL
Another kind of balance that Mr. Grey understands (albeit, sometimes a little unevenly) is aggressiveness versus loving. How many times does Ana call him “mercurial”? Though he can be aggressive to a fault in the Red Room, he is also incredibly protective and loving towards Ana. He is always admiring her, holding her, and doting on her. The lesson here is, be a beast in the bedroom, a mogul at work, and a sweetheart at all other times.

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4. BE VULNERABLE...SOMETIMES
One of the ways that Ana and Christian finally fall for each other is when they have intimate discussions. It’s just the two of them, alone, in bed, talking. Weird right? No! Women love that Christian is (as mentioned above) a beast, but he’s also got some things he’s vulnerable about too. His physical and emotional scars make him who he is, and once he starts showing that to Ana, all bets are off. Remember that sometimes it’s fine to drop the “standard masculinity settings” and be vulnerable.

5. FEED HER DESIRES, DAILY
If you want to be like Mr. Grey then boy, you better learn how to foreplay like a champ. Seriously. Mr. Grey is an expert level foreplayer. He knows exactly how to sustain Ana’s desire ALL. DAY. LONG. Whether you’re sending naughty emails between private accounts, or just creating a tagline that makes her swoon (“Laters, Baby” is already taken), you should know how to press her buttons. Keep it up even after you strip down to your birthday suits and she will practically need your sex.

6. SHOW HER OFF
Even the most tomboyish women want to feel like they’re being shown off from time to time. We may not live to be your trophy wives, but buy us a sexy dress and tell us you’re taking us to the hot new sushi restaurant and ya, we’ll play along. If you show us that you are more than happy to be with us - smitten, perhaps - than we will gladly strut our stuff on your arm!

7. STAY SEXY, SIR
Keeping your appearance in check - including your home - is a big deal. I know Mr. Grey has a whole staff to take care of him, and with a phone call he can have a new wardrobe, but he also just gets the importance of style. You don’t have to have the best of the best, but a cohesive theme in your home and some smart suits (maybe a grey tie) is perfection. If you are living together, consider some home decor upgrades to make her feel like a queen in a palace of her own!

How He Can Get What He REALLY Wants In Bed

8. PLAY
It’s not all about dominance with Mr. Grey. Sure, he’s got wrists ready to crack whips, but he also takes time to have fun - and make sure Ana is having fun - between Red Room experiences. So go out for ice cream! Tease one another with funny kisses and tickling. See a really dumb comedy in the theater. Have fun, be playful, giggle together. Laughter is just as sexy as a man who knows his way around sex toys.

9. GET A BIGGER...BRAIN
Basically, know about the female anatomy, and know how to satisfy her. Make an effort to hunt the internet for tips and tricks on how to please her. You’re doing great so far! The internet is full of a lot of...interesting methods...but opening your mind to new things and taking the chance to try them is a turn on in and of itself. Even if you’ve got all the wrong moves (we know Mr. Grey is fictional, afterall), at least you are showing her you tried! From there, she’ll be happy to teach you what she likes!

10. COMMUNICATE
Obviously! How else are you going to discover her sexual fantasies from tip #1? How do you expect to keep up the anticipation for satisfaction from tip #5 if you can’t communicate? Whether it’s explaining each other’s hard and soft limits, picking out sex toys together, or just talking about the day-to-day mundanities like “how’s the weather,” keep those lines open! The more comfortable you are with communication, the more adventurous you can be in the bedroom!

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