By Mikayla

I know the question you really want answered – it is burning a hole in your head and you are just too embarrassed to ask. Come on, do it - ask the question! TRUST ME, I have heard everything! You want to know if there is truly a lubrication that is the best for….well…..for Anal sex! Don’t be embarrassed! Anal sex is actively practiced by more heterosexual couples now than in the last five years. It is also practiced by more STRAIGHT males than ever before. What does that mean? Well, that more women are taking pleasure in anally stimulating their straight partners! Anal sex is no longer “a gay man’s pleasure” – it is everyone’s pleasure – including mine!

"Let me assure you – Anal Sex – when done correctly, DOES NOT HURT!"

So, why Anal Sex? Well, a few reasons. Anal Sex is an equal opportunity pleasure center. Unlike the vagina – which only women have (DUH) – both men and women have rectums. Therefore, both men and women can experience the pleasure from Anal Sex. Often times for women, the pleasure experienced via anal stimulation can be more intense than vaginal stimulation. In addition, if she chooses, she can experiment with double penetration – where she is penetrated anally and vaginally simultaneously! This can be achieved by the insertion of a toy in either the vaginal of anal canal and her partner’s penis in the other (or with toys in both!) This intense double penetration often leads to very intense orgasms!

What makes this so enjoyable are the thousands of nerve endings in the rectal lining. When stimulated, they cause pleasure. This is why men find having THEIR anal canal stimulated so pleasurable as well. In fact, many men report that prostrate stimulation during a blow job will render the most intense orgasm they have ever had – sometimes leading to experimentation with further anal exploration. In many cases, this experimentation will culminate with full-on penetration by their partner – their female partner – with either a strap-on or an anal vibrator!

Many people ask – does this make me “bi-sexual now?” ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Enjoying anal stimulation does not make you “gay,” “bi-sexual,” “bi-curious” or anything more than open to new sexual experiences! In anal play, what is good for the woman is also good for the man – equal opportunities at its best!

Now, whether we are talking about digital penetration (fingers); toy penetration (butt plugs, vibrators, dildos, dongs); harness play (dildos in a harness where a female partner may penetrate her male partner) or plain old-fashioned penile penetration (gay sex) – whatever your pleasure – YOU NEED A GREAT LUBRICATION! This article is not only going to teach you some basics about Anal Sex, but it is also going to demystify anal lubricants for you – all so you can slip n’ slide down anal avenue – and have great, safe Anal Sex!

LEARN BEFORE YOU LEAP!

I would be totally remiss if I did not take a moment to discuss the basic safety rules associated with Anal Sex. There are many concerns, especially for first-timers, when it comes to taking the Leap into Anal Land! Of course, one of the major concerns for everyone is PAIN! Let me assure you – Anal Sex – when done correctly, DOES NOT HURT! If there is pain, you are doing something WRONG! Read these simple rules and you will be well on your way to a safe first time experience!

SAFETY FIRST – 5 MAIN RULES OF ANAL SEX

#1 : CONDOMS: The NUMBER 1 RULE of any sex act is SAFETY! For anal sex or vaginal sex – the use of condoms is ALWAYS a wise idea – especially if you are with a new partner. Anal sex is one of the top ways that STD’s and the HIV virus is transmitted because of the sensitive nature of the rectal lining. The lining tears easily, causing bleeding and thus the intermixing of bodily fluids. When in doubt – use a condom!

In Anal Sex, many couples find the use of condoms to aid in the “cleanliness” factor. Whether they are using toys, digital (finger) stimulation, or penile stimulation – using condoms will help keep things clean and sanitary. This will make the residual factor less of an issue!

#2: SOBRIETY: Couples should NEVER, ever participate in anal play if they are inebriated, or impaired in any way. The urge to “numb the pain” may be high, but is NOT EVER RECCOMMENDED! Especially the first time a person experiences anal penetration, she or he needs to be aware of all the sensations, the level of discomfort, the pressure experienced or if there is any pain. The rectal membranes are very thin and delicate – it doesn’t take much to damage them. Being cognizant of what is happening makes it a much more enjoyable experience. Conversely, the person doing the stimulation needs to be fully aware of what he / she is doing to his / her partner and be able to control the action, the depth, the speed or remove the stimulus (finger, toy, penis) if necessary. If the person is impaired, they are not as readily enabled to do so, and may end up hurting their partner.

#3: LUBRICATION: Ah yes, lubrication…..the “Golden Rule” of anal sex. In a phrase: YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH LUBRICATION DURING ANAL SEX! The anal canal has no natural lubrication – and lubrication is IMPERATIVE during Anal Sex – therefore, lubrication is an absolute necessity. In fact, the more lubrication the better! It may be necessary to add more lubrication during insertion and again during anal play to ensure that the canal is properly lubricated. If the anal canal is NOT properly lubricated, the stimulus (finger, toy, penis) will “rub” harshly against the inside walls and cause PAIN. You do not want pain in Anal Sex. Lubricated condoms can help – but additional lubrication is necessary.

#4: TAKE YOUR TIME: The anal canal is not meant to have things inserted into it – therefore, the first time it is stimulated can be a slow going process. The anal canal will stretch, but it takes time. It is imperative that the person stimulating his/ her partner takes time and is patient. Wait for instruction from the person receiving the stimulus (finger, toy, penis). Once the stimulus is completely inserted – add more lubrication – and then continue with the removal and insertion process. Take your cue from the person on the receiving end, if there is PAIN – STOP and wait or withdraw! It will become easier, and it will be very enjoyable, as long as the main rules of anal play are observed.

#5: CROSS CONTAMINATION: The bacteria that is present in the anal canal (fecal bacteria) is much different from the bacteria found in the vagina or the mouth. When engaging in anal play, you should NEVER CROSS CONTAMINATE by inserting the same finger, toy or your penis into your partner’s vagina or mouth after it has been in their anal canal. Either use a different toy, wash your finger or penis, or use condoms and switch before changing locations. To not do so could result in yeast infections, bladder infections, intestinal infections or other nasty infections that neither of you want to deal with.

BONUS THOUGHT - RIMMING – ANAL / ORAL SEX --Many couples also like to engage in “Rimming” – which is licking around the anus and inserting their tongue inside the anal canal. As one might imagine, this practice can seem “uncleanly” to some people. If you plan on engaging in Rimming, wash your anal opening before sex – trying to clean a bit into the canal. Using an unlubricated condom may help a beginning couple become more comfortable with this practice – and it is safe sex. Or, if the couple doesn’t want to use a condom, suggest flavored lubrications – such as SEX TARTS – to help sweeten the experience.

TOYS FOR THE TRIP

If these above major rules are followed, your anal experience is sure to be a win-win situation! Anal sex is one of the top fantasies that men have about their female partners. The taboo nature of it causes excitement and adds to the sensations. The woman, initially pensive about her actions, finds it enjoyable but knows it is supposedly “off limits” and this causes her to enjoy it more!

As previously discussed, Anal Sex is on the rise, and because of this there are more toys available than ever to support those curious couples. One of the hottest commodities out there now are harnesses! Many couples – lesbian and straight – are exploring harness play – and the women are not only wearing the harnesses to penetrate their female partners vaginally, but anally as well! There are many harness available to fit any size accommodations – the JULI ASHTON ULTRA Harness is probably one of the best for anal stimulation because it comes with quite a few different size attachments. The TANTUS BEND OVER BEGINNER’S Kit is also a safe bet for first-timers. Or, you can get a plain harness and mix and match it with your own dildo. Whatever you choose – it is sure to be a GREAT TIME!

Sometime completely different and revolutionary, in my opinion, is the FEELDOE Vibrating Silicone Toy! This remarkable toy is inserted into the vagina of one woman, and that woman instantly has an erect penis with which she can penetrate her partner! Also, because the Feeldoe inserts into her, she will experience different sensations than if she were just wearing an ordinary harness! This toy also vibrates for extra stimulation – and what lover wouldn’t love that?

Perhaps you are not ready to take the plunge into harnesses quite yet and you want to start a little slower. Hey, I understand…baby steps, right? Well there are many toys available to get you where you need and want to go. A popular item that has been around for a long, long time are ANAL BEADS. Anal beads are a wonderful product for couples, individuals, straight men or gay men. They are universal in that you can also use them vaginally if you prefer (just remember rule #5). Anal Beads are a great way to introduce anal play because they are generally not too large, and are not intimidating. The idea behind anal beads is to insert them anally, and then to remove them just as you are about to orgasm – and this enhances the orgasm – but it takes practice to get the timing just right!

Anal beads have come a long way, the traditional CHINESE ANAL BEADS are a series of plastic, “acrylite” or jelly beads connected on a string with a safety loop at the end. These are usually available in different sizes, sometimes different sizes on the same strand. Traditional beads are not exactly easy to insert, but they can be a lot of fun, and they are generally good for beginners as they are usually smaller. If you prefer, you can go with SILICONE ANAL BEADS on a flexi-strip – and insertion will be MUCH easier. My personal favorite are VIBRATING PLEASURE BEADS, which are beads on a flexi-strip, which vibrate for extra pleasure! You can’t go wrong with vibrations!

Now, if you are ready for anal play, and you want to gently “stretch” your anal opening – or just stimulate your anal canal for pleasure purposes with something a little shorter than anal beads, you can try ANAL PLUGS (or butt plugs as people call them!) Anal plugs are also a wonderful product for couples, individuals, straight men or gay men. They are a great way to prepare for Anal Sex by gently stretching the anal canal. Many women and men simply enjoy the sensation of having a plug in their anal canal – and for many women, having something inserted into their anal canal during vaginal sex can heighten and increase the intensity of their orgasms. The most popular plug is probably the TRADITIONAL JELLY PLUG, such as the SPECTRA GELS ANAL STUFFER or if you want something smaller, THE LITTLE ZINGER! Plugs come in different shapes and textures, sometimes long, short, bent, ridged – find what “fits” your anal request!

If you want a little something MORE – than perhaps a VIBRATING PLUG is the way to go! Many anal plugs now come with a vibrating feature – which most people find extremely enjoyable. The vibrations can be used for stimulating around the anus, or while inserted completely. These also come in different shapes and sizes – some are smooth, some not. Some are even wireless, which is a very nice feature on any toy. My top picks in this category are THE SILICONE ULTRA WIRELESS PLUG and the iVIBE PLUG!

Finally, when you have advanced to the stage of anal play where plugs and beads are just not enough – ANAL VIBRATORS are the way to go! Anal vibrators are similar to anal plugs, except that generally they are longer. Anal vibrators are not usually recommended for beginner play – unless the beginner understands all the rules of stimulation. Anal vibrators are available in smooth textures or with “pleasure bumps.” SPECIAL NOTE: DO NOT USE A STANDARD, VAGINAL VIBRATOR FOR ANAL PLAY! Anal vibrators are made so that the risk of loosing the toy up the anal canal is minimal or impossible, vaginal vibrators do not have this safety precaution! My top picks in the anal vibrator category are JESSICA DRAKE’s GLITTERED PROBE and BEATE UHSE VIBRATING SILICONE NEON PROBE!

I am most confident that no matter what your interest in Anal Sex, one of the above products will fit your “anal needs” to a T! Experimenting with Anal Sex – with or without toys – can be an extremely erotic experience for the giver and the receiver!

LISTING THE LUBES

It was a long, hard road – but somebody HAD to do it! In my search for the “perfect” anal lubricant, I forced . . .no, coerced…..no, persuaded….no, pleaded…..my hubby to have endless nights of anal sex with me! OH, ALL RIGHT - so he loved every minute of it, and it wasn’t so hard….but I still did it all for you! OK, so for ME too….and for HIM! Geesh…what is with the 3rd degree here??? Do you want to know if I found the perfect anal lubricant or not?

There are quite a few of lubricants available that are marketed specifically for anal use. I decided to test the major ones. What I discovered is they all have their positive attributes, only one of them was just not cut out for anal use and all but that one would work in a pinch. However, did I find the “perfect” anal lube, or did one stand out above the rest? Let’s find out!

K-Y JELLY:

I think K-Y is a household name – pretty much everyone has heard of good ole’ K-Y jelly. I had never personally used it for Anal Sex before, so I was interested in how it would “hold up” against the added friction of the anal canal. K-Y is an excellent lubricant for personal dryness and for use with condoms, but I just wasn’t sure about for Anal Sex.

Good Qualities: K-Y is fragrance free, non-staining, non-greasy and easy to buy. You can get it at any drugstore, Target, Wal-Mart – pretty much anywhere. It is water based, which makes clean-up a snap – just some soap and water and the residue is gone.

Bad Qualities: K-Y is a water based lube, making it dry quickly. While this is a nice feature for vaginal lubrication, it is not sufficient for anal lubrication. The anal canal does not self-lubricate, so continual lubrication is necessary. The K-Y jelly started out nice and smooth, but literally within seconds we had to apply more….then more….then more. It doesn’t keep up with the demands of Anal Sex. It simply is not made for it.

ANAL LUBE (CALIFORNIA EXOTICS – CHERRY SCENTED):

Hey, who wouldn’t want any lubricant that smells like cherry? This lubricant, simply called ANAL LUBE, seemed like a logical choice for my experiment.

Good Qualities: Anal Lube is cherry scented (nice), non-staining, thick and soft. It has a decent lasting quality – probably due to it’s thickness. It is water-based, which makes clean-up a snap – soap and water. My hubby and I had to reapply this lubricant three times during our session, making it a fairly long-lasting lubricant – considering how long we were lasting (hee hee).

Bad Qualities: This lube gets slightly sticky – not too sticky, but enough to notice it and you have to use quite a bit to get the desired effect once play has begun.

PJUR – EROS BODYGLIDE:

This lubricant is made in Germany, and is highly concentrated. It is designed as a personal lubricant, a massage oil and is a moisturizer (hey, who wouldn’t want all that???) It is also Doctor recommended! It comes in a very small vile, so I assume a little would go a long way.

Good Qualities: This is a Silicone lubricant, which makes it extremely long lasting! A little bit goes a long, long way! We only applied once, albeit it came out in a gush - and it lasted our whole session! It is non-scented, non-staining, non-sticky – although it is similar to a massage oil in texture. It is very, very smooth feeling when it comes in contact with your skin – or rectal membranes. In addition, since silicone lubes are never fully absorbed into the body, you can add a little saliva to “revive” the lube. Cleans up nicely with soap and water – although takes a little more effort than with a water based lube.

Bad Qualities: Due to its Silicone base, this lube CAN NOT be used with SILICONE or CYBERSKIN toys – it will erode them. You would have to use a condom to play with your toys when using this lubricant. If you get it on your hands, it will stay on your hands until you can wash with soap and water – making it necessary to “prep” carefully for play.

DOC JOHNSON’S SPIKE ULTIMATE ANAL LUBE:

This lube is intriguing because of the applicator it comes with. The bottle comes with an optional attachment to “shoot” lubricant up into the anal canal (sort of looks like an enema!) For couples extremely apprehensive about anal sex, this lubricant might make the journey more relaxing.

Good Qualities: This product from Doc Johnson has a unique applicator which allows you to put lube up into your anal canal – not just on the penis, anal opening (or toy) making insertion easier! The lubricant is non-scented, non-staining and non-sticky. It is a water-based lubricant making clean up simple. It is a fairly thick lubricant, my hubby and I only had to reapply twice during play – probably due to the extra lube that was “shot” into my canal before play began.

Bad Qualities: This lube needs to be reapplied for longer sessions, but overall is decently long lasting.

ASTROGLIDE PERSONAL LUBRICANT:

Ahhh, finally, my personal choice – my tried and true friend for Anal Sex and toy play – ASTROGLIDE! I have been praising Astroglide in my reviews for some time now, and it is time to rank it against the other contenders…how will it hold up?

Good Qualities: Astroglide is a Ph-balanced, water-soluble lubricant that is said to be “second only to nature” – and I would agree. It is non-scented, non-staining, non-sticky and super smooth. Similar to Eros, the Silicone based lubricant, Astroglide is long lasting. One or two applications will do you – or at least it does my hubby and I. Astroglide is easy to clean up – just warm water and soap.

Bad Qualities: Similar to Eros, if you get Astroglide on your hands, it will stay on your hands until you wash it off – making it necessary to “prep” carefully for play. However, unlike Eros, Astroglide is NOT oily, making it less of a mess if some does get on your hands.

So, now that they are all tested….who will reign supreme? Tune in next week for the results! No, I am just kidding. I actually have 2 favorites….and yes, Astroglide is one of them!

In order of preference my picks are: Astroglide, Eros, Doc Johnson’s Spike, Anal Lube and K-Y Jelly.

Choosing between Astroglide and Eros was hard – they are both spectacular lubricants. They were long lasting, smooth feeling, non-staining and just plain good. What set my tried and true Astroglide ahead for me was the “oily” nature of Eros and the silicone factor. What makes Eros so great is also what makes it NOT my favorite. I do have some silicone toys – and I would hate to ruin them by using the wrong lube. I like lubes which are universal – like Astroglide. I also just could not get over the oily nature of the lube. Astroglide has a slick texture, but not quite as slick as the Eros. So, for me, those two factors pushed Astroglide ahead, and Eros behind.

Now, the nice thing about Eros is that it can be used as a massage oil – and I definitely can see how that would be wonderful! The smooth sensation of it as it hits your skin would definitely make for a long-lasting massage! I will be using my Eros, just not for Anal Sex!

Now, the runner’s up – what put them behind? Simply the inability to hold up AS WELL during play! While they all were fairly thick – which you would think would be a nice feature, right? Really, it doesn’t play into Anal Sex too much. What you want is a lubricant that LASTS! Anal Sex REQUIRES lubrication, so if you have to constantly stop to reapply, you loose your groove a bit. Now, all of these lubes (except K-Y – it simply is NOT made for Anal Sex) help up decently. I just prefer the other two. Honestly, any of the lubes (besides K-Y) would be adequate for anal play, as long as you reapplied when necessary.

I will say if you are a beginner looking to explore the realm of ANAL TOY PLAY, either the Doc Johnson’s or the Anal Lube would be a safe bet. They are thick enough to wrap around the toy, and would be smooth and sensual for the play. For that purpose, these lubes would be more than adequate.

There is one more product I would like to discuss before I close this discussion. It is ANAL-EZE Desensitizing Cream. This product is not the best lubricant – which is why I didn’t place it in that category. The directions state it is for “external use only” – so common sense would tell you not to use it as a lubricant, although it is smooth like one. It is meant to help “numb” the anal opening and make insertion during anal play more pleasurable. The cream has Benzocaine in it, which is a pain reliever. Myself being the eternal skeptic didn’t think this would work, and I was afraid to try it myself since I have fairly regular Anal Sex.

I convinced my hubby to try it – while we used a vibrating plug for stimulation. My hubby is open to anal stimulation, but like many other men, he is taking baby steps! I thought using this cream might help his apprehension, but he was skeptical (and so was I!) After a generous portion of the cream – we began play. My hubby said that the cream does numb the anal opening quite a bit – you can still feel the pressure – but it does “relax” you, and helps you to not worry about having pain – which you shouldn’t have anyway! He said he felt NO discomfort at all! He accepted the plug easily, and said it didn’t hurt at all! He had a tremendous orgasm just from prostrate stimulation (told you guys) – and is now ready to explore anal stimulation again….some other day!

Therefore, I would recommend Anal-Eze for you first-timers who want a little “added insurance” that your first anal experience will be enjoyable.

VISITING ANAL AVENUE

I hope that this article has given you an enlightening glimpse into the realm of Anal Sex – and that you and your partner will take the leap and explore new pleasures! Anal Sex is not something to jump into lightly – a discussion of the actions and the proper precautions should always be taken! Always be prepared with lubrication and MORE LUBRICATION to ensure your experience is safe and enjoyable! Remember the 5 rules of safe Anal Sex – and never cross-contaminate with your sex toys!

I also hope that I have demystified Anal lubricants for you – and that you will also find one that is your personal favorite – as Astroglide is still mine! If you have any questions, concerns or comments on this article – or about Anal Sex in general, please comment on our Anal Avenue section on the Discussion Forum! Hope to see you there!

Happy and SAFE Play Everyone!

Mikayla

Discuss this article or the topic of Anal Sex at our discussion board on the Anal Avenue.