By Mikayla

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Why do I refer to the quest for a G-Spot orgasm as trying to find the “Holy Grail?” Well, because for many women a G-Spot orgasm is the end-all, be-all of orgasms – the one that will make their sexual life complete – and it is just something that she never seems able to achieve! Well, I am here to tell you, that most women are indeed CAPABLE of having a G-Spot orgasm – although like a regular orgasm, not all G-Spot orgasms are the same. For some women, achieving a G-Spot orgasm can be the most wonderful sensation of her life – for others, the question remains, “was that really it?” There are reasons for this, which I will explain as I go on.

First, let me begin by diminishing any doubts that you may have and state that a G-Spot DOES exist! Women do have them – it is not some sick joke some man made up just to drive women crazy looking for it. Also, G-Spot orgasms DO happen – and when they do, for most women, they are indeed the most intense orgasm they will ever have. It is for this reason that this article will be helpful to so many women – at least that is my hope! I firmly believe that will knowledge, patience and the right techniques most women CAN find their G-Spots – and I sincerely hope that I can help you to do that.

GET EDUCATED ABOUT THE ‘G’

I learned a long time ago that the best way to be successful in ANYTHING, including sexual fulfillment, is to be educated. Therefore, a small “lesson” on women’s anatomy and the basics of what the ‘G-spot’ actually is will serve as a backbone for how to find it.

Ok, first of all I think we all know what and where the VAGINA is – and that at the end of the vagina is the cervix, uterus and the ovaries – this is simple enough. Also semi-connected to the vagina is the bladder, as it lies right above (or next to) it – so to speak. Now, coming down from the bladder is the URETHRA, which is where urine comes from. All pretty simple thus far, right? Closely related to the urethra are the PARAURETHRAL GLANDS – or Skene’s Glands – which are, in essence, the glands which produce the discharge of a G-Spot orgasm! These paraurethral glands are located between the bladder and the anterior (top or belly-side) wall of the vagina. When this gland is stimulated, the G-Spot orgasm occurs!

So, if the glands are called paraurethral or Skene’s glands, why is it called a G-Spot? Well, because it was actually Ernest Gräfenberg, a German gynecologist, who discovered that these glands had anything at all to do with a female’s orgasm. Therefore, this was named the ‘Gräfenberg Spot – or ‘G-spot' in his honor.

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The tricky part about a G-Spot, like anything related to human anatomy, every woman is different! Just like her labia is completely different from her best friend’s – so are her paraurethral glands! In some women, these glands are large (quarter sized) and prominent – easy to stimulate, and hence, easier to produce the G-Spot orgasm. In others, these glands are small, indented, or even practically non-existent – hence, not easy at all to achieve a G-Spot orgasm. This is the dilemma with claiming all women can have a G-Spot orgasm. Statistically, only 15% of women have a G-Spot which is completely unreachable – so truthfully 85% of women SHOULD be able to achieve a G-Spot orgasm!

What happens when a women does stimulate her G-Spot? Why do so many women explain the feeling as an intense urge to pee? Well, if you think about where the paraurethral glands are – closely connected to the bladder – and then think about stimulating these glands, it would then only follow that the sensation would feel like you might have to urinate! Also, the ejaculate DOES come from the urethra. This is a much, much debated fact – but it is a fact. The ejaculate from a clitoral orgasm comes out of the vagina, and in fact is secreted there. The ejaculate from a G-Spot orgasm comes through the urethra. The fact is, while the feeling might be as in urination, a G-Spot orgasm DOES NOT make you pee yourself! The liquid that comes from a G-Spot orgasm is EJACULATE, much like a man’s semen. In fact, scientific analysis of the fluid that comes from a G-Spot indicates a very similar make-up. In this way, the G-Spot is sort of like a man’s prostrate!

Many women who have had a G-Spot orgasm have wondered if they have peed themselves – usually because of the volume of fluid that comes out during a G-Spot orgasm. Although even this varies from woman to woman. For some women, the fluid can be as little as a few ounces, still others about a cup, and others yet, up to a QUART! Rest assured, G-Spot fluid is not urine, it is not even a mixture containing urine.

It is clear – where urine is yellow; it smells sort of like “clover”, whereas urine smells like –well, urine; it will NOT stain your sheets, although it will make them wet, urine will stain of course. G-Spot fluid is a matter in and of itself – and there is nothing to be ashamed of when you excrete G-Spot fluids!

It is also important to note that some women will experience a G-Spot orgasm without an excretion of fluids. If her paraurethral gland is smaller, it is possible that there will be minimal liquid ejaculated. So, ladies, do not generalize a G-Spot orgasm simply by the amount of fluid which you may or may not ejaculate – instead, go by the feelings you are having.

Now that a basic understanding of where the G-Spot is as well as what it is, it is time for me to help you women on the quest to find and stimulate your G-Spots! I caution you that this is a general guide to the best and most accepted methods to finding and stimulating the G-Spot – and not every method will work for every woman. I make NO PROMISES that you will be able to find and have a G-Spot orgasm. However, it is my firm belief that if you try and try again – if you are in that 85% - you will have a G-Spot orgasm eventually. Hey, there are worse things to have to practice, right?

INSIDE OUT

Many women do not know that a clitoral orgasm is an EXTERNAL orgasm, while the G-Spot orgasm is an INTERNAL orgasm. You can only have a G-Spot orgasm through INTERNAL stimulation of some sort. A true vaginal, or G-Spot orgasm, can only be achieved from the inside out.

In order to find the G-Spot, you must look for the characteristics of the ‘spot’ – which are mainly a rougher, spongy textured area which is in stark contrast to the smooth insides of the vagina. The G-Spot is located about 1-2 inches inside the vagina, on the TOP (belly side) vaginal wall. The spot is small, usually about the size of a quarter or even a bit smaller, like a lima-bean.

The best way to find this spot is to feel with your fingers, to get an idea of where it is. It is easier for a partner to find this spot than it is for you to find it yourself – but it is not impossible to find it solo.

The best way to find the G-Spot is to:

1) Get as aroused as possible. The more aroused you are, the more prominent the G-Spot will become. While the clitoris and the G-Spot are not connected, blood flows to the clitoris and the paraurethral glands in the same manner, so if you are extra aroused and sensitive, your G-spot will become more pronounced. In fact, the most successful you will be in finding the G-Spot will probably be once you have had a few clitoral orgasms!

2) Be relaxed. If you are tense and nervous about it, or over concentrating on finding your G-Spot, you are not likely to find it. Much like over complicating a clitoral orgasm, you can over complicate finding your G-Spot as well. If you are relaxed and comfortable, truly enjoying sex with your partner or your masturbation session, then you will be more successful in finding your spot.

3) Fingers first. Although G-Spot toys are wonderful appliances for stimulating the G-Spot, it is easier to find it for the first time with your fingers. You can sense the change in texture and feel the size and location much better from the INSIDE than you can from the outside with a toy. Once you have found it, toys may become your best aide in stimulating the gland.

4) Lie on your back. Even though the G-Spot is located on the top wall and many people advocate a “doggy style” position for stimulating the spot, finding it the first time is easiest when you are on your back, legs pulled to your sides. The access to your vagina is easier – kind of like at a gynecologist’s office – and the spot can be reached easier this way than trying to put your fingers into yourself while kneeling doggy style.

Once you have decided to find your G-spot, it is good to set your mind to not pressuring yourself. Just try to relax and have fun with it. Remember to enjoy all the sexual touching you do to yourself, or that your partner does to you, whether you find your G-Spot or not.

FINDING WITH A PARTNER: If you are lucky enough to have a partner to aid you in finding and stimulating your G-Spot, then it will be their responsibility to feel for the rough patch on your vaginal wall. As I already suggested, make sure that you have gotten extremely aroused and are relaxed and ready to play. If you have had an orgasm or two it would help greatly. The best way to find the spot is when a partner is engaging in oral sex (helps with the arousal) and has his or her fingers inside of the vagina as well. If the fingers (let’s say 2) are placed into the vagina – palm side up – and then the clitoral stimulation is continued with oral pleasure – the spot is more likely to be engorged with blood – as the clitoris is.

Your partner should use his fingers to feel around for the spot, gently searching your insides for that difference in texture. Once he finds it, there are many ways to stimulate it to orgasm – which I will go into in just a moment.

FINDING IT SOLO: It is not impossible to find and stimulate your own G-Spot. I have done it many, many times – so I know it can be done. Finding it for the first time might be a little more difficult, but once you know where it is, you can get to it quicker the next time. As with partner play, make sure you are extremely aroused. I suggest you give yourself a clitoral orgasm or two just to be as aroused and relaxed as you can be. Then, lie on your back, legs bent as far up as you can. Place 2 of your fingers inside of your vagina and feel around for the different texture inside. When you notice the spongy patch – that is your spot.

While it is harder to do this solo, and easier to do it with a toy, I do advise women to try to find it manually (with fingers) first – just so they know exactly where it is.

STIMULATING YOUR SPOT

I am going to preface this section with a warning. Just because you have found your G-Spot doesn’t mean you will have a G-Spot orgasm. Having a G-Spot orgasm takes patience, practice and the ability to let yourself go in a way you have no idea of until you get to that point. Once you have had a G-Spot orgasm, you will understand exactly what I mean.

So, whether you have a partner or not, once you or they have found your “rough patch” and you are ready, willing and able to try and have that G-Spot orgasm, there are a few tried and true methods to reach that goal.

1) Come Hither Mr. Orgasm: I am sure I will not be the first to write or to explain that the best way to stimulate the G-Spot manually – that is with fingers – is by placing the fingers (preferably at least 2) inside the vagina, PALM SIDE UP, and then finding the spot and rubbing in a “come hither” motion with the fingertips. It is this rubbing motion which stimulates the gland and helps it to fill with the ejaculate. The interesting thing about this is, it can take a long, long, long, long, long time to actually reach orgasm this way. While you may be able to reach a clitoral orgasm in the blink of an eye, a G-Spot orgasm takes longer for many women. Also, depending on the size of your spot, it may take longer than you are willing to spend. This is probably why many women give up – they just think it takes too long.

The fact is, once that spot is located and the rubbing pressure has begun, you should begin to feel a sort of odd sensation. It should be pleasurable, it also should feel different than when you apply clitoral stimulation. It will feel like a slow build-up that continues to ebb a little at a time, and when you are getting closer to the actual orgasm; you will begin to think you have to pee. YOU DON’T – DO NOT PANIC! What is actually occurring is your paraurethral gland is filling with fluid – the “sponge” which is your G-spot is swelling up. It is putting a little pressure on your bladder, and the fluid will be released from your urethral opening, so it makes sense that you feel the urge to pee.

2) Too Tired? Use Toys: Since sometimes it does take a long, long time to stimulate the G-Spot to orgasm, enlisting the help of a toy can be a big, big help. Or, if you are having solo time, this is the best method to try. The key to having the orgasm is constant PRESSURE. While you might be able to gently rub your clitoris to orgasm, your G-Spot requires a bit harder attention. This is why many G-Spot toys become helpful in stimulating the spot.

Many of the G-Spot toys are specially made with a curved tip. This tip acts as your fingers would with the ‘come hither’ motion. As your partner inserts the toy, the tip rubs your spot in a more consistent and hard manner – which can be more intense than finger pressure. The key is to find the spot and STAY THERE! Keeping a toy on the spot is what is important. Your G-Spot needs the constant pressure to fill up.

While there are hundreds if not thousands of G-Spot toys on the market today, not all of them will work for every woman. Some women require a harder tip, some a softer tip. Still others like the clitoral pressure to be a little more substantial, others don’t want any – just a G-Spot stimulator. Some toys which are not marketed as G-Spot toys can become G-Spot toys when you discover that they get your spot just the way you want them to. In any case, I have tried many, many toys, and I have my personal favorites that seem to do the trick every time I try to have a G-Spot orgasm.

My favorite has got to be the G-SPOT ELATION . This little number gets me every, single time. It has clitoral pressure, plus a rotating shaft. It has a curved head AND pleasure beads that tease all your insides. This is my number 1 pick for a G-Spot toy. After GG, I also had great success with JESSICA’S STROBING PROBE – while it looks a little like a flamingo, the curved head will get you where you need it to. The TERA PATRICK RIBBED G is completely different as it is shorter, fatter, and definitely has a way of getting to that spot. For some water fun, the waterproof WAVE G-SPOT FINDER is an odd looking toy, but really is designed to get where you need it too. It is shorter as far as insertion, but you really don’t need more than a few inches when we are speaking G-Spot. JESSICA’S STROBING PENIS is not marketed as a G-Spot toy, but has that familiar TIP that you will get to know and love when on the search for a good G-Spot toy. Finally, the BLUE META-JEL HEART ON vibrator is not at all recommended or marketed as a G-Spot toy, but every, single time I use this toy, I have a G-Spot orgasm! So, why not call it a G-Spot toy for ME.

Once you have decided on a toy, the key is to find your spot and STICK WITH IT. Many women think that once they get to the spot it will be easy – it isn’t. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it just isn’t easy – especially the first time. You need to remember the first rules – arousal, relaxation, etc. Then, find your spot with your toy and keep it there. Whether you are gently pressing back and forth, or whether the toy has a vibration function, do not give up! Keep the pressure going until you feel that build-up and the urge to pee.

3) Remember to BREATHE!: A G-Spot orgasm, as well as a regular orgasm, is very much about mind control. When you are stimulating the spot for a long, long, long time – frustration sets in. You tend to loose your arousal and get discouraged. DON’T. Remember to breathe in – deep, concentrated breaths – and breathe out the same way. Especially when you feel the crux of the orgasm hitting – do not stop the breathing! Continue to feel the pleasure and breathe in and out purposefully. Once the orgasm hits – you will most likely be breathless for a moment – as many women actually gasp when the orgasm hits – but then as you come down it will feel much like a small high.

4) Positioning for the ‘O’: There are some sexual positions that will work better than others to stimulate the G-Spot, the only problem is, for first timers, this doesn’t usually produce results. However, if you are a more experienced G-spot orgasmer (yes, I said ‘orgasmer’) then you can try these positions in hopes of reaching one during sex.

Doggy: While it is hard to stimulate the G-Spot manually in the Doggy position, this is a good position during intercourse. Simply because the G-Spot is located on the top wall of the vagina, and in the doggy position the man’s penis automatically rubs against the top wall – this increases chances of stimulation. In this position, the woman must maintain her doggy position, resisting the urge to slouch down. Also, increased clitoral pleasure will help with the engorgement of the glands.

Woman on back, legs at sides: If you lie on your back and press your legs up and above toward your head, and then your man straddles between you at such an angle to rub the top of your vagina, this will also produce the friction needed to produce a G-Spot orgasm. It is also possible to boost the height by putting a pillow underneath the lady’s bottom to raise her up.

Women facing backwards: If you mount your man facing backwards, and then lie down toward his feet, his penis is pulled forward and down in a manner that rubs tightly against your whole vagina, including your G-Spot. This position can be successful on many different levels – and is fun for general sex.

The ‘X’ Factor: One of my favorite positions, the ‘X’ factor is a wonderful position for stimulation of the G-Spot. In fact, it might even be the best position because it is possible to maintain this position for a long time. The man lies on the bed, legs spread. The woman lowers herself down onto his penis, then slowly, SLOWLY, lowers herself backwards on the bed so that her feet are by his head and they appear as they are in an “X.” In this position, the man’s penis is barely penetrating her, and where it is hitting is just barely within the vagina – right where the G-Spot is. Also, because of the angle, the penis is forced to rub up against the TOP wall of the vagina. This position can be maintained for a long, long time because it is so comfortable. It is also great for clitoral stimulation because of the easy access by both partners. For this reason, the “X” is probably the best position for obtaining a G-Spot orgasm.

SQUIRTING – HAVING THE ORGASM

One of the biggest turn ons for men when it comes to the idea of a G-Spot orgasm is the notion of “squirting” – which is the ejaculate coming forcefully out of the woman’s urethra. Not all women will squirt in such a manner as you would imagine, but many women will indeed have a considerable amount of liquid present during her orgasm. Contrary to what you may have heard or thought, stimulating the G-Spot does not always end in squirting – or ejaculating.

In order to have an ejaculation, the G-Spot must be stimulated to full on orgasm. As stated above, many people get tired or frustrated and stop before the “reward.” If you do intend on following to fruition – then you should be prepared mentally and physically for what may occur.

If you have a paraurethral gland which is big enough to store liquid, you will ejaculate when you have the orgasm. When stimulation of the gland occurs, this spot fills with the liquid. When properly squeezed out, it can refill almost instantaneously and ejaculate again.

To do this, when you feel the orgasm building and the urge to pee is getting stronger, place your hand on your pelvic arch just above where your pubic hair is (or would be if you are shaved) and press down hard. This puts pressure on the G-Spot from the TOP and in essence, squeezes the liquid out of the gland. Many times within a few moments of doing this you will feel an intense sensation and the urge to “bear down” – and yes, I mean like if you were having a baby. This feeling is truly indescribable if you have not had a G-Spot orgasm. This bearing down is the releasing of the liquid. With continued stimulation INTERNALLY, and the pressure EXTERNALLY combined with sexual arousal, good breathing and emotional readiness – you WILL experience a G-Spot orgasm with some level of ejaculate.

This means, whether you are being stimulated by fingers or a toy – you have to keep the pressure on – both internally and externally. This can take a long time – do not put a time on it. For some women 15 minutes, for others upwards of an hour! I am not kidding here – stimulation of the G-Spot can take an hour in some cases to get to the proper level of excitement!

Once the liquid begins to come out – most often in a stream similar to that of urination – you can continue to have the orgasm by NOT STOPPING the pressure! Continued pressure often results in continued ejaculation. The problem is that most people are shocked, and thereby stop the pressure. With time and practice, you will learn to continue the pressure to have a long, long orgasm. Eventually, it becomes painful to continue – as in a clitoral orgasm – and most times you will simply HAVE to stop.

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

I must impress upon you that not succeeding in having a G-Spot orgasm the first, second or even 5th time you have tried to achieve one is NOT UNCOMMON! There are very few women that have a G-Spot orgasm the first time they try – and many more who have come close and not even known. If you feel like you are on the right path, but just don’t have the release you think you should, TRY, TRY AGAIN! Think about what you could do different. Were you really aroused? Relaxed? Did you remember to concentrate on breathing and your pleasure? How about using toys? Did you try another G-Spot toy? Not all toys work the same, perhaps you need to try something with a harder tip. The point is, do not give up. Unless you are in that 15% with an extremely small or non-existent paraurethral gland, you can eventually have a G-Spot orgasm!

So, I truly hope that this article not only educated you as to what, exactly, your G-Spot is, but also gave you some ideas on how to achieve it. Once you have experienced a G-Spot orgasm, you will truly know what all the hype is about. Until you have been there, you will not fully understand how important it is to let go, and go with the flow – because as far as G-Spot orgasms go, that is most essential.

I hope that this article leads at least one woman to the Holy Grail of Orgasms – the G-Spot orgasm. If it does for you – then you too will know the intense sensation that only a G-Spot orgasm can bring! Each time it gets easier and easier – so keep with it!

Stay tuned for part 3 of this series – Multiple Madness: How to have MULTIPLE Orgasms!

Good luck and remember to HAVE FUN!

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