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What is "Swinging?"

Posted by Mikayla to Single & Dating

Have you heard of swinging or swingers? Do you truly understand what it is, or isn't? Do you assume that this term refers to people who are having orgies with a bunch of people? Do you assume it means loaning your wife / husband to another person? There are many assumptions about what swinging in, and most of them are at least partly wrong. While there is more than one understanding of what is involved in swinging, the gist of it remains mostly the same.

Swinging - the definition: the most accepted definition of swinging is having consensual sex outside of an established relationship with other people. Now, this does get a little tricky because single people can be swingers, if they are the person with whom a swap is occurring. It also can be heterosexual sex, or homosexual sex, can involve a threesome (or moresome) but more often than not, it is simply "swapping" partners. For example, a husband and wife find another couple to swap partners with. This is consensual, agreed upon sexual behavior.

The largest assumption about swinging is that it is a sexual free for all where everyone is just sleeping with everyone like one huge orgy. More often than not, swinging is a very private and quiet affair where 2 couples meet and swap partners. While there are swinging parties for larger groups, often it will simply align with partner to partner sex, not group sex. Swinging is also not cheating. Since both partners agree to the possible swap and go into the situation fully aware of the intentions, it is not at all cheating.

Many assume that swingers are people who are desperate to please their partners and therefore will do anything. OR, they believe that a swinger is a sexual promiscuous sex addict who just wants to get her / his rocks off as much as possible. The irony is that according to an article in Psychology Today (2013), most swingers are college educated, between mid-30s to 50s and have been in a relationship for over 10 years! These are not impulsive or ignorant choices, but instead lean toward being very well considered and intentional choices. Surprised?

Some of the lingo used with swinging is specific to swinging, while some terms may merge with other types of sexual play. For example:

* Soft swap: when a couple has restricted their play to oral sex or foreplay, and excludes sexual penetration
* Full swap: when all agreed upon sexual activity, including intercourse, can occur between the swapping partners
* Polyamorous: having more than one sexual / romantic relationship at the same time (but, mostly refers to constant, loving couples)
* Same room: this refers to when both couples will engage in play only when in the same room
* Unicorn: this is the ever-rare single swinger
* Hall pass: this means that one of the people in a couple has permission to play, while the other partner may watch or bow out
* On premise: this refers to swingers parties or gatherings where there is on-site rooms or areas to engage in sex
* Off premise: conversely, refers to swingers parties or gathering where there is no on-site places to engage in sex

Why would anyone want to agree to go outside of their relationship for sex? Well, because it is fun, it is an adventure, it is an activity a couple can participate in together that also ads variety. Swinging can be a very healthy and fun part of a monogamous relationship. Swinging should never be done to save a relationship or to try to stave off cheating from a partner. Instead, swinging should be viewed as an activity that a loving, and trusting, couple can engage in together to bring some excitement to the bedroom. It is not for everyone, but for those in the lifestyle it can and is very sexually fulfilling.

Would You Try Swinging?
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Date 12/30/2018
Patrick Lenn
I think I would be too jealous to do this, but idk maybe ill give it a try
Date 1/2/2019
kylie S
me and my hubby have been swinging for years mor people need to try it, it's completely underrated in my opinion and is such a great way to express yourself sexually, in ways you may never have before!!
Date 1/8/2019
Yeah Stacy
The idea of swinging is very exciting to me, however when i actually visualize it I hit a brick wall when i see interested in my hubby, my pulse races and snaps me right out of that fantasy. I feel that in order for anyone to take part in swinging or any other sexual encounters with an outside party first and foremost must have a healthy trustworthy relationship free of any and all jealously. I clearly have jealousy issues so I'll have to go on fantasizing
Date 1/10/2019
Not sure how I got over the jealousy bit my husband and I recently started swapping with another couple who has been our friends for years. We will only swap with them! We love it
Date 1/14/2019
How would one find swingers in the area? I would be interested alone without my husband and again with my husband and another woman... let him live out his fantasy!
Date 4/19/2019
Where do you find swinging clubs? Sounds interesting
Date 4/22/2019
danny p
i love swinging honestly
Date 4/29/2019
Ann Norrell
I may be over weight but have always interested in swinging. I have participated in threesomes and loved it. I would love to get in a group or with someone that is also interested. Most men are interested in my boobs as my bra size is 44G.
Date 4/29/2019
Beverly Horsfield
Try this Web Site Adult Friend Finders there are couples (haven’t tried couples threesome) you can find that are into what ever you want. Check it out. That’s where I met my fiancé

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