Ah, the G-Spot – or, the Gräfenberg spot – as named after the German gynecologist who, in essence, found the link between this internal spot and the female orgasm. The G-Spot is thought by many to be non-existent, a sort of mythical land inside the vagina that no one really ever feels or finds. However, for women who have experienced G-Spot orgasms (with or without ejaculation) they can attest to its legitimacy. The G-Spot is sort of the holy grail for women because an orgasm by G-Spot stimulation is intensely pleasurable, nearly painful, and some women will emit a liquid, female ejaculate, upon orgasm. So, whether you KNOW you have a G-Spot, want to find your G-Spot, or want to find a G-Spot on your partner – this is the blog for you. This is everything G-Spot.
All Women Have A G-Spot.
The first thing that comes up in any discussion of the G-Spot is whether it is an actual, real “spot” inside of the vagina, or, if it is urban legend that women and men “pretend” they are stimulating, when really there is nothing there at all. So, let me begin by saying again: all women have a G-Spot. However, (sorry, there is a but…) not all G-Spots are prominent enough to be stimulated to the point of having a G-Spot orgasm. Furthermore, the squirting orgasm that most people associate with G-Spot stimulation cannot be achieved in a majority of women.
Let’s talk location. The first bit of information that anyone interested in G-Spot stimulation needs to know is where, exactly, the G-Spot is located on the female anatomy (because, yes, the G-Spot is specific to females, just as the prostate is specific to males). The G-Spot has an “approximate” (meaning, it can be a bit off in some women) 2-3 inches inside of the vagina, on the upper (stomach side) of the vaginal wall, under the pelvic bone and right by the bladder. The texture of this spot will feel rougher than the rest of the vaginal canal, and the overall size of most G-Spots, although some are much larger, is about a fingertip width. Those women who have more prominent G-Spots are usually the women who are lucky enough to have the powerful, G-Spot orgasms.
Not all G-Spots are created equal. Everybody has a unique body, and this is especially true when it comes to a woman’s vagina, clitoris and G-Spot. Just like some women who have very prominent clitorises or larger labia (vaginal lips), some women have a much more noticeable G-Spot. The majority of women, however, have inset G-Spots, meaning they do not protrude very much, especially pre-orgasm, so stimulating it is difficult at best. It is just this fact that causes many women to think that the G-Spot is a myth, because if they can’t feel it on themselves, or never notice any difference in sensation when trying to locate it, they assume, falsely, that it is not a real place. I talk about this fairly extensively in my blog Why Is The G-Spot So Controversial?
How Do You Find Your G-Spot?
So, of course, most women (and men) are eager to explore their G-Spots, but the first thing is to locate it. Some women, a very small majority, have felt their G-Spots easily and before actually trying. These women likely have protruding G-Spots that will stick out and are larger than the majority of women. In this case, finding it is simple because there is no denying that extra “bump” on their vaginal canal. Some women are even told by their gynecologists during examinations (even though many gynes will encourage women not to explore this – don’t even get me started.)
Getting to the spot. To locate your G-Spot you would place a finger or two inside of the vaginal (well lubed of course) and feel around the upper (belly) side of the vaginal canal until you locate the rougher patch of skin that announces its presence. Sometimes just brushing against this spot will cause immediate sensations of pleasure, or even just a different sensation than when the rest of the vaginal canal is touched. However, again, for most women finding the spot is not that easy, and takes some tricks.
- The more orgasms the better. The female body is a wonder in so many ways, and this is no exception. The more aroused a woman becomes, the larger her clitoris is, and the more blood rushes to her vaginal area, AND more fluid accumulates in the G-Spot. This is the same fluid that will “ejaculate” from women who can squirt, as well being noticeable in general when the G-Spot is stimulated. Therefore, the more times a woman has an orgasm, the larger the spot swells and the easier it is to find and stimulate. Ergo, if you want to find your G-Spot make sure you have many orgasms beforehand. This is a huge problem for most women who cannot locate their G-Spot because many women are not (or choose not to try to be) multi-orgasmic, and they give up after that first orgasm. So, statistically the chances of these women ever finding their G-Spots is pretty slim.
- It’s all about the pressure. You will likely not feel any difference in internal stimulation sensation unless you are pressing pretty firmly right on the spot. G-Spot stimulation needs to be very firm and constant. You likely will not feel anything different if you are just feeling around inside gently. In order to find that spot, especially if you are like most women who have the hidden G-Spot, you need to apply some pressure when searching.
- Partner stimulation is easier. It is much easier for someone else to stimulate your G-Spot than yourself. Oh sure, it is not impossible at all, but in order to find the spot you must contort your hand in such a manner that it can be uncomfortable. Plus, to stimulate it to orgasm takes some time, and many women can’t continue the needed stimulation for that length of time. Therefore, a partner can explore around and push much harder for longer to find and stimulate the spot successfully.
- Toys can help. G-Spot toys can and do help when it comes to finding a G-spot. Either solo or with a partner. G-Spot toys are like solid, firm fingertips and can therefore help to pinpoint the G-Spot during firm and direct pressure.
Stimulating The G-Spot.
You have to walk before you can run, and that is really true when it comes to G-Spot orgasms. For most women, just finding the G-Spot is step one. Then, the next step is stimulating it enough so that you can feel the distinct difference in sensation and pleasure. It takes a long time for most women to actually feel the difference, and too many give up before the end result is achieved. So, that being said, how do you go about beginning this process?
- Solo players. If you are a solo player, I would highly suggest getting a G-Spot toy because the amount of time you will have to put your fingers inside yourself can get pretty painful. G-Spot toys make stimulation much simpler for solo players. First, you will feel around with your fingers for that spongy, rough patch. Next, you will push hard on that spot and notice the difference in sensation. Then, you will use a G-Spot toy to press, firmly and consistently, on that spot until you notice the pleasure difference. The goal at first is just to get used to pinpointing the G-Spot inside yourself and noticing the difference in how it feels. Then, you can work toward the orgasm.
- Partner players. It is easier for another person to stimulate the G-Spot long term, but it is NOT easier for them to find it all the time. Meaning, you have to tell your partner when you feel that difference in sensation that indicates that they have found your spot. Sometimes the texture is different enough that your partner will be able to find the spot themselves, but most times it is a bit of a guessing game. The easiest way for your partner to locate your G-Spot is through communication. You tell him / her when they have hit G-Spot gold.
Positions for G-Spot stimulation. Obviously, finding the right position is very important when it comes to hitting the G-Spot properly. There are a variety of positions that are helpful in achieving this. Experiment with different positions to find the one right for you. In short, these positions tend to work well:
- Lying on back, knees bent and pushed back up toward the head, knees held firmly. This opens up the vagina as well as puts a bit of pressure on the G-Spot, causing it to pop out a bit for easier detection.
- On hands and knees (this places the spot on the BOTTOM). Sometimes this position makes it easier to achieve the firm pressure necessary for stimulation.
- Squatting. Squatting also opens the vaginal canal and puts natural pressure on the G-Spot, causing it to bulge out a bit.
- Lying on back, knees bent, feet on bed. This is a comfortable position similar to the first position, but allows for more relaxation for longer stimulation times.
While it is pretty cool to finally find your own G-Spot, that is not usually the end of the expedition, right? Women want to find their G-Spots to have that intense, going-out-of-my-mind orgasm that is associated with G-Spot stimulation. Men (or female partners) want to find that spot so that they can give their partners that intense orgasm, and, hopefully, a squirting G-Spot orgasm. That seems to be the holy grail of orgasms and having one is supposedly (and I can attest to this personally) the most intense sensation you can have in a sexual experience. In some ways, it is TOO intense and that is why some women will never have one – they stop before they go over the edge. For general information on G-Spot orgasms and how to achieve them, see my blog, You CAN Have A G-Spot Orgasm
Orgasm versus ejaculation. It is extremely important to note that a woman can have varied G-Spot sensations. Some women just have a greater sensation of pleasure that goes along with intercourse or general stimulation. Others will have an orgasm – an orgasm to beat all other orgasms – and they will definitely feel the difference. For a small percentage of women, they will have the ejaculating, otherwise known as squirting orgasm. The “only seen in porn, this isn’t real” orgasm. This is a very rare occurrence, basically because there are so many variables that must be met to have this type of ejaculatory experience.
General tips for achieving G-Spot orgasms. There are some basic tips that help to achieve that ever evasive G-Spot orgasm, no matter whether you are playing alone or with a partner.
- Relax. Seriously, relax. Nothing good is going to happen if you are stressed the entire time about having the G-Spot orgasm. You have to look at it as a fun experience that will be pleasing even if you never have the actual orgasm. Stressing yourself out, or pressuring yourself (or your partner), to have the orgasm will not bring success.
- Do not do it with a goal of the orgasm. I know you want to have a G-Spot orgasm, and I know you are trying, but if you have that as the only goal of the event, then you likely will have more difficulty than if you are nonchalant about it.
- Be hydrated. Statistically, women who have the ejaculation orgasm are well hydrated. In fact, it is always a good idea to be hydrated for sex anyway because the body uses that hydration to lubricate in general.
- Have a lot of orgasms. As described above, the more orgasms you have, the more your G-Spot will swell, and the more sensitive it becomes. Therefore, if you want to increase your chances, have as many clitoral or internal orgasms as possible. The more aroused you are, the greater the possibility that you will have an orgasm. So, get yourself as absolutely as aroused as possible.
- Trust your partner. G-Spot stimulation can be an extremely intense sensation, one that many women end up stopping before orgasm can occur. Trusting your partner and feeling comfortable with them is essential to successful G-Spot orgasm.
- Have fun. You have to have fun with sex, no matter what type of sex. Being able to enjoy the experience for what it is, and to sink into the sensations will more likely help you to reach your goal.
- Step 1: Relax. I mean get into a warm bath, take a hot shower, get your body relaxed and ready for the experience.
- Step 2: Take your time. Dedicate some time to this without distractions.
- Step 3: Orgasms and more orgasms. I have mentioned this a few times now, you will have greater success if you have more clitoral orgasms. So, get out that favorite toy and go to town.
- Step 4: Find your G-Spot. Hopefully, you have already discovered where your spot is, so find it again and begin to put direct pressure on it.
- Step 5: Keep applying pressure. Once you begin, keep the pressure on. Firm, consistent pressure for as long as you can. Feel the different in pleasure that will start to arise.
- Step 6: Add clitoral stimulation. Many women find that they will be pushed over the edge if they can apply some clitoral stimulation as well, so add that with another bullet or vibrator.
- Step 7: Don’t stop. Try to keep going until you physically can’t go any longer. Keep in mind you may not have an orgasm the first time, but at least try to get used to the different sensations.
Then, you just keep doing these same steps, perhaps changing up the toy you are using. The only way to get to a G-Spot orgasm is to be patient and try. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee to having an orgasm, but these are the tried and true steps. For more information on getting yourself to the big O, try my blogs How To Have A G-Spot Orgasm and Step-By-Step Guide To Having A G-Spot Orgasm
Toys that may help you achieve G-Spot orgasm:
Tips to achieve G-Spot orgasm with a partner: As I have eluded to above, it is usually easier to get to the orgasm if you have a partner who is willing to help you stimulate your G-Spot. Whether he / she is using his fingers or a toy or both, your partner is likely better able to apply the direct pressure needed to achieve orgasm. The same basic tips 1-2 apply to couple play, but some of the further steps are varied:
Step 3: Have intercourse. One of the things about G-Spot stimulation is that any internal stimulation helps greatly. So, if you have a male partner you can (and should) have sex. Not only will this boost arousal, but it will also hopefully give you more orgasms while you are being internally stimulated.
Step 4: Lots of oral sex. Oral sex is usually the most powerful experience for a woman and can deliver her orgasms, so in preparation for G-Spot stimulation, give her lots of oral sex.
Step 5: Locate her spot with your finger. Have her direct you to her G-Spot via communication and feedback. You may be able to find it on your own, but if not, ask her where it feels good to touch. Keep in mind it is only 2-3 inches INSIDE of her, on the upper wall.
Step 6: Stimulate, stimulate, stimulate. This will be a marathon not a sprint, so make sure you are putting in the time. Once you find the spot you have to stimulate it FIRMLY and consistently. It is OK to vary the speed or pressure a bit, and to add in clitoral play if you are able. However, the most important thing is to keep on stimulating her.
Step 7: Use toys. Even the most dedicated partner may find that he / she gets tired and cramps up. Use vibrators, dildos, or even G-Spot toys to aid in your quest. This can often speed things up and help keep things moving along.
Step 8: Don’t stop. Of course, if your woman asks you to stop you would stop, but otherwise keep going! Keep stimulating her and asking her how it feels. The progression of pleasure should be very noticeable.
Step 9: Go for more if she has the orgasm. The thing about G-Spot orgasms is women who DO have them often can have multiples. So, if you are lucky enough to get her to orgasm, keep stimulating her for more. Keep in mind these orgasms are nearly painful, so you may have to insist a bit.
G-Spot stimulation through sex. Many people inquire as to whether G-Spot orgasm can be achieved during intercourse. It can, rarely, be successful during sex with a partner. There are certain positions that can work better than others. For example, doggy style is often very effective for G-Spot stimulation because of the angle of penile penetration combined with clitoral stimulation. For some women who can achieve this position, the froggy (squat) position is very effective due to the pushing out of the G-Spot when the female is in this position. For more information on sex positions that can help stimulate her spot, see my blog 5 Sex Positions To Hit Her Spot.
References for couple G-Spot Stimulation:
Toys that can help you help her:
Will You “Squirt?”
Probably the most widely asked question regarding G-Spot stimulation and orgasm is, “But, will I squirt?” This is what we think of when we think G-Spot orgasm, right? That water fountain of liquid that comes out as she writhes around the bed in pure orgasmic bliss. The truth is, most women will never do that porn-tastic squirt. Most will notice a lot more liquid or general wetness, more like a slow drip. The few that do have that type of orgasm, the squirters, are rare and very lucky. There is no way of knowing if you are capable of it or if it will ever happen. The only thing that can be said about it is that it sure is fun to try!
How to know if you are close. One universal sign that a G-Spot orgasm is imminent is this very intense feeling that you have to urinate. Because of the close proximity between the bladder and the G-Spot, when the G-Spot engorges with fluid it can activate feelings in the bladder. This makes many women want to stop, as they can’t push past that “I have to pee” sensation. Also, many women think that the liquid they ejaculate is pee, but it isn’t. It is a mostly clear liquid that is not urine at all. It will not smell or look like urine. If you are feeling this way, then the G-Spot orgasm is close at hand so do not stop. Keep in mind though that even this sensation will not guarantee a squirting orgasm.
Here are some references for knowing how you have hit her G-Spot (for partners) as well as a step-by-step guide to doing your best to have a squirting orgasm:
So there you have it, all you need to know to find and stimulate your (or a partner’s) G-Spot and hopefully have a G-Spot Orgasm! May the G-Spot force be with you all!