The Ultimate Beginner's Guide to Sex Toys: Everything You Need to Know

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Sex toys offer so much to your overall sex life and how you orgasm. They can enhance together time and soothe lonely interludes. Toys come in a variety of sizes, shapes, types, colors, strengths, and materials, which means there is bound to be something out there that you haven't tried in our adult toy guide.

Every sex toy novice should start with an introduction to lubrication, a beginner’s glossary, a description of toy materials, top FAQs, and a guide to cleaning toys. Becoming more familiar with the toys can help you feel more comfortable buying and using them! Discover the toys that could be making all the difference in your sex life now with TooTimid’s sex toy guide!

Lubrication Essentials

Anyone using toys needs to make sure to lubricate, lubricate, lubricate! We all experience dry spells or days when they're not able to get completely aroused. People interested in anal play especially need plenty of lube. Before playing, researching the best lube with an adult toy guide is always a fabulous idea. Always keep in mind how you will be using it and what toys you might be playing with. The wrong lube on the wrong material can lead to toy erosion, stains, and genital irritation.

WATER BASED LUBRICANT

Hands down the best all-around lubrication you’ll find in our sex toy guide. This type of lubrication is easy to clean up and it will not stain. Water-based lubes tend to dry quicker than other lubes though, so you may find that you need to add more during sex play. Water-based lubes can also come in a variety of fruity and sensual flavors that make them great for oral recreation. They can be safely used with condoms and toys made from CyberSkin, silicone, jelly, and rubber. Our best selling Water Based Lubricant shown below is an amazing choice for any sexual adventure!

Image of a bottle of our water based lubricant

SILICONE BASED LUBRICANT

This lubricant is best known for being waterproof, which makes it number one for play in the water. Trust our sex toy guide when we say a little goes a long way when it comes to silicone lube! Its long-lasting effects make it popular for extended play, while soap and water make cleanup easy. The biggest takeaway is that silicone lubrication should not be used on CyberSkin or silicone toys without a condom because it will destroy the material. Silicone lubricants are commonly used for anal as they are slicker and make penetration easier.

    Sex Toy Glossary

    Anal Beads: Anal beads are plastic or jelly strands of beads that are inserted into the anus. As the person reaches climax, TooTimid’s sex toy guide experts suggest slowly removing the beads from the anus to heighten the effects of the orgasm.

    Ben-Wa Balls: Also known as orgasm or kegel balls, Ben-Wa balls are inserted into the vagina. They can help strengthen your vaginal muscles for more intense orgasms and alleviate incontinence if used regularly.

    Bullets: Also known as eggs. These vibrators are small, and they’re usually bullet or egg-shaped. Bullet vibes are controlled by a small remote attached with a thin wire. Bullets are one of the most discreet toys you’ll find in our sex toy guide!

    Butt Plug: A butt plug is a flexible rubber or jelly toy that is inserted into the anus to heighten sexual sensation. Most are small in size and bullet-like in design. People new to butt plugs should start with a toy that has a flared base to keep the plug from accidentally slipping all the way into the anus.

    Clit Stimulators: Most vibrators can be used to stimulate the clit, but clitoral stimulators in particular focus on the clit. They are sometimes small and fit in your palm, or round and bulbous to cover your entire vulva. Wand massagers are often considered clit stimulators.

    Dildos: Dildos are one of the most popular toys you’ll find in our adult toy guide! Dildos are mainly for stimulation through insertion vaginally or anally. Dildos are often realistic, though not always. We have thick dildos, jelly dildos, and more!

    Double Dildos: Dildos that have a penis head on both ends make for great insertion toys for curious couples reading TooTimid’s sex toy guide. Double dildos are sometimes curved in a "U" shape for use by one person during double penetration.

    Glass Dildos: Glass dildos are made from the world’s most durable glass borosilicate, which is also non-porous and can be sterilized in the dishwasher. Most people who find themselves susceptible to allergic reactions from latex and rubber toys can enjoy glass wands or dildos. Glass wands are heat and cold absorbent. The great thing this sex toy guide will tell you about glass toys is that they won’t crack or break. Talk about long-lasting!

    G-Spot Vibrators: The G-spot is a difficult-to-find, hard-to-reach bundle of clitoral nerves inside the vagina. For most, it is the key to amazing vaginal orgasms. G-spot vibrators are our adult toy guide top choice when it comes to toys designed specifically to stimulate this erogenous zone.

    Nipple Pumps: Nipple pumps come with a suction cup that is placed over either the clitoral or nipple area. Once a grip has been established, a vibrating stimulator sends pulsating vibes to the designated area.

    Strap-On: Strap-ons are a type of dildo you can wear on your hips, thigh, chest, or face to penetrate a partner. Most strap-ons are typically used by inserting it into a harness to keep it stable during sex.

    Vibrators: One of the most commonly mentioned products in our sex toy guide, vibrators are used to stimulate areas such as the clit, vagina, anus, scrotum, or nipples by single or multi-speed vibrations. Vibrators come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and strengths.

    Waterproof Sex Toys: Waterproof toys are toys that can be used in and around water, making them ideal for showers or tubs. While waterproof toys can be used in hot tubs, pools, and the ocean, our adult toy guide wants you to keep in mind that chemicals and salt water can wear down and destroy toys.

    Image with information on sex toys for couples

    Sex Toy Materials

    Toy material boils down to preference. If you are looking for clit stimulation, then you probably don’t mind if the material is more firm in nature. If anal play is what you seek, more pliable and soft substances may suit your needs. TooTimid’s sex toy guide recommends trying all types of materials at one time or another—you never know what might tickle your fancy!

    • Jelly Toys: Jelly toys are made of a jelly/gummy material. They are flexible and have a slightly squishy feel to them. These toys are some of the less expensive toys found in this adult toy guide and typically have a somewhat sticky feel to them and plastic smell. Jelly toys are extremely porous, and since they cannot be thoroughly cleaned with soap and water or sterilized by boiling, they should always be used with a condom. Water-based—not petroleum-based—lubrication is a must. Because they cannot be cleaned thoroughly, follow our sex toy guide’s advice and make sure to replace your jelly toys every six months.
    • Silicone Toys: Silicone toys are made from a non-porous, smooth material. While slightly more expensive than most toys, silicone is more realistic and is a good choice for people with a latex rubber allergy. Warm water and antibacterial hand soap will clean these non-porous toys while silicone dildos and toys without batteries can be boiled in water or run through the dishwasher. Our adult toy guide’s #1 tip when it comes to silicone toys? Never use them with silicone-based lubrication.
    • Realistic Toys: Realistic toys are made out of an exceedingly realistic material that warms with use. Although realistic toys are on the high end of the price list in our sex toy guide, they are well worth their money. Realistic toys take more maintenance than other toys because of their high-quality material. Water-based lubrication is best for realistic-textured toys. Petroleum-based and silicone-based lubes will ruin these toys easily.

    FAQ About Sex Toys

    Q: What’s a good first vibrator to start with?

    Phallic-shaped vibrators can be attractive and familiar to some, but truth be told, non-phallic toys are much less intimidating. The Pocket Rocket or the My First Silver Bullet are just a few first-time vibrators TooTimid’s sex toy guide recommends from our collection of beginner's vibrators. Make sure to learn how to use it!

    Q: Is there a discreet vibrator I could use?

    Of course! Most bullets are wearable, small, discreet, and come with multi-speed controls. The Venus Butterfly is also hands-free and wearable, which is perfect for wearing without anyone knowing! Start off slow with this multi-speed control so that when the plane takes off, so can you!

    Q: Which strap-ons can pleasure my partner and me at the same time?

    There are a few strap-ons our adult toy guide can recommend that would fit the bill—one of them being the 8 Inch Curved Hollow Strap On. This adjustable hollow strap-on can be worn by either sex. The other option our sex toy guide suggests is the Vibrating Silicone Strap On. This toy has a vibrating dildo that penetrates the wearer.

    Q: What are anal beads?

    Anal beads are a string of hard rubber or jelly beads. The beads are strung on either a nylon string for more mobility or fused together in a strand for deeper penetration. The amount and size of the beads vary from one strand to another. Some gradually increase in size while others can vibrate. Lubrication is a must with anal beads to avoid discomfort. One way to use anal beads is to insert them before having sex and slowly remove them as your orgasm peaks. It may take a few tries before you are comfortable using anal beads. For this reason, we suggest starting with a smaller variety first.

    Q: Is anal sex pleasurable? What toys would you suggest for trying something anal?

    Anal sex is like anything else: some people love it and others find that it just isn’t for them. Fear of pain, embarrassment, and a huge mess to clean up afterward can deter some. The first time is almost always difficult, but with practice and relaxation, it actually becomes quite enjoyable! Our sex toy guide recommends starting slow and using generous amounts of lube to help make it more pleasurable for everyone. If you’d like to start with a toy, we suggest something small and thin to begin with. The High Intensity Vibro Tease Plug is a great beginner toy!

    Q: How do I know what size vibrator or dildo I should use?

    Our adult toy guide believes that dildos and vibes can be a little like Goldilocks and the Three Bears: some are too big, some are too small, and some are just right! The average dildo ranges from 6 to 8” long and about 1.5” in diameter. The toys linked in our sex toy guide lead to detailed product descriptions with sizing information. After that, it’s simply a matter of preference.

    Q: Are butt plugs for men, too? What are some good butt plugs for beginners?

    You bet your ass they are! Anal play is for everyone, especially for those of you with a prostate. First-time users should try a jelly butt plug, preferably one that is on the smaller or more slender side. Sets of plugs, such as the Anal Trainer Kit, include butt plugs of varying sizes to help you get started.

    Cleaning Your Sex Toys

    If you’ve already bought a sex toy from our adult toy guide, pat yourself on the back—you’ve already done the hard part! The second hardest part? Remembering to clean them properly and regularly. This is especially important if you are using your toys with more than one partner or in multiple orifices.

    Antibacterial hand soap and warm water will keep your toy clean as long as you wash it every time you finish playing with your toy. CyberSkin toys, however, are cleaned differently. TooTimid’s adult toy guide suggests cleaning CyberSkin products with warm water and mild soap before gently patting them dry with a cloth. Once they are dry, dust them with cornstarch—not baby powder or talcum powder, as talc has been linked to cervical cancer. The cornstarch is used to help maintain the real feel of the CyberSkin.

    Porous toys made from jelly and rubber are impossible to sterilize and should always be used with a condom. Even with condom use, make sure you follow this sex toy guide’s advice to replace porous toys every 6 months. A more practical and much easier type of toy to clean is one made of non-porous silicone. Silicone dildos are efficiently sterilized by running them through the dishwasher or boiling them in water. Do not boil silicone toys that have battery packs, inner mechanisms, or electrical charging docks.

    Do You Own Any Sex Toys? Let Us Know In The Comments!


    13 comments


    • Samantha

      Never used toys before but I’m thinking about it


    • Benjamin Postley

      I ordered a suction toy ND it stopped working on the first day
      Very disappointed


    • Hailey

      I own close to 20 toys, I love them so much, and I’m still always looking to buy more!


    • Blondie

      I have two totes full of toys and love shopping for more.


    • Carl Stough

      A real feel. Dildo 8to 9 inches


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