6 Possible Reasons His Sexual Drive Has Recently Decreased

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For many couples, the sexual component of a long-term relationship is essential for a fully functional and healthy relationship. While every sexual relationship has experienced some level of ebbing sexual activity, there is typically an increase in the flow of sexual activity that will follow. It’s something of a balancing act. Such is the natural “ebb and flow” of a sexual relationship between two busy adults.

Occasionally, though, the ebb becomes a little longer or more starkly noticeable than in the past. Your comfortable pattern has changed for no discernable reason. What happens when you take notice that your man doesn’t want to have sex with you? What does this mean, and how do you deal with it?

There are actually quite a few possibilities, and we just have a few places where you can start to understand what’s going on with your partner.

Despite What You May Think, Men Are Not Always Horny All The Time

Unfortunately, our culture has been heavily conditioned to believe or generally assume (through all sorts of media portrayals) that men are horny and want sex 24/7. This media representation and the social assumption just isn’t realistic for anyone.

While anyone can experience repetitive thoughts about sex, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to be able to act on it every time you’re thinking about it, especially when our lives can become so busy! So while you may be feeling some anxiety that your man is not coming onto you at every waking hour as he did in the beginning..., this is not an immediate cause for concern. 

He could just be needing a sexual break. Taking a break from sex or just a calmer libido is common, especially as we become busy, comfortable, or even just get sort of stressed. Try not to panic until there is an evident reason to worry - and even then, most causes for lower libido can be addressed relatively easily.

If it seems to last too long, simply start a conversation and ask if there is anything you can do to help wake his libido. But, truth be told, we aren’t always revved up and ready to go jump in bed, and our partners can feel that way too. It’s totally normal, we promise.

Men Have Emotions To Explore & Deal With, Too

Once again, the males and masculines in our world have gotten a seriously misrepresented media character. Some people assume that not only are they horny no matter what - they think men can have sex even when they are totally and utterly upset, depressed, stressed, or angry. This concept is just not genuine.

Men are capable of experiencing the very same level of emotional stress as anyone else. Add in the possibility that something could be amiss in the relationship (maybe there was a recent disagreement that is acting as a stressor), their work-life (upcoming deadlines, going for a promotion, etc.), or in their family circles and which is important to them they will often shy away from sex until he can resolve the issue.

There are quite a few variables and questions you can ask yourself before you open up the discussion. They might include: Have you and your lover been fighting more often? Was there a massive disagreement in which he was visibly upset? Suppose there is a current issue or misunderstanding in the relationship. In that case, this can be the primary reason he is avoiding sex.

Or maybe the sex has gotten a little dull or repetitive in style, and the motivation to jump into bed is a little low. The best way to find out is to start an open and honest conversation, even if the answers might be a little difficult to process or find the right solution.

He May Be Experiencing Physical Health Issues

The human body and reproductive systems create a delicate balance, and the body will not always function at the highest level depending on both physical and emotional conditions.

Suppose your man has begun to experience physical issues or makes complaints such as drastic weight gain, heart issues, or coping with any sort of physical issue. In that case, this can affect not only his libido (desire to have sex) but his actual ABILITY to have sex. The change may happen overnight or take months or years, but our bodies do not function at optimal levels if a physical issue needs to be addressed.

So, with those experiences in mind, if a man is aware that he will not be able to have sexual intercourse in the way he is used to - he may very likely avoid sex altogether. At least he might avoid it for a period of time to try to sort out the physical issues.

Sometimes they might avoid it so that they don’t have to show something is going on. Not all men know how to be open about talking about their ailments. If this is a possibility, take care in opening the discussion so that it doesn’t inflame any feelings he is already bottling up. We all deal with insecurities, so try to be sensitive. And remember to be honest with your doctors about your health concerns.

He May Be Experiencing Erectile Dysfunction

Speaking of health concerns and physical ailments, we come to the bodily function issue that affects numerous men and affects countless sex lives – Erectile Dysfunction (ED). ED is something that most men have a difficult time coping with healthily. It is understandable to have trouble coping with ED too.

Your own body has taken to rioting against your wishes when you deal with ED. It can be a confusing and scary experience that may threaten their sense of being able to satisfy you.  The experience becomes more stressful if they do not know why they are experiencing ED or how to address it.

If ED affects their ability to get or maintain a rigid erection, some men will likely avoid having sex altogether to reduce any potential feeling of disappointment. Unfortunately, until he finds a way to work around it in a healthier way, the experience will probably feel stressful. Your partner may seem crabby or distant - all thanks to their roiling emotions, even though this continued unattended mood can contribute to additional anxiety-inducing issues between the two of you.

Thankfully, most forms of ED can be helped, but your man has to go to a specialist to address the issue. If you suspect that this is the problem, try to gently talk to your man about it in a non-bedroom setting and see if this is going on and how you can support him through the experience. Don’t forget about the potential toys you can introduce either; he can still pleasure you thoroughly with just a bit of help!

There's A Possibility That He Might Be Exploring Outside Of Your Relationship

Of course, the uncomfortable elephant in the room is always the confidence-shattering question of, “Is he cheating on me” which can be a very viable reason that he may no longer want sex with you. If he is getting it somewhere else, then he may stop having sex with you.

Then again, wanting sex more often can also be a side effect of cheating for some personality types - so it can be challenging to make an assumption based on his libido alone. If he is contemplating a breakup (whether he has another lover or not), he may also stop having sex with you. But this isn’t a hard-written rule - it’s just one of many potential factors that might be affecting the relationship.

The critical thing to remember is, just because you are no longer having sex does not instantly mean that he is cheating. As all the other possibilities point out, there is more than one reason that this change in libido in men happens. However, if your intuitive senses tell you that something is off, you may want to investigate further. Many intimate partners are usually really good with their intuition, and if we feel something is wrong, it most often is. 

He Might Be Rethinking His Sexual Identity & Preferences 

Another possible reason that he may be avoiding sex with you could be questioning his sexual preferences and how they might fit in with the relationship or how it might change if they come out.

For some individuals, coming out about wanting to explore sexual identities and preferences can be very anxiety-inducing. Sometimes, long-term relationships end after a coming-out experience, while many other couples survive and strengthen their relationship after a coming out. This experience is happening more than it ever has in past years. Transgender, non-binary, pansexual, asexual, bisexual, aromantic… the list goes on!

As much as we love and support coming out - we also know that it can bring many confusing feelings to the table. And it can have a significant impact on how you view and behave in the relationship you have, or it can entirely change what you want in a relationship.

Many people are re-thinking the traditional sexual roles in which they have been placed and participate in and sometimes adapting these newly realized concepts into their own lives. If this is the particular variable you’re experiencing, try to go into it with an open mind, ready to learn and discover new approaches to relationships and maybe even your own identity. 

To wrap things up, we want to say that the best approach to any happy relationship begins with open communication that offers honesty and compassion. Let your partner know you want to be there for them and give them a chance to talk to you about anything affecting them.

After Reading This, How Do You Plan To Approach The Situation? Let Us Know In The Comments!

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