Is It Wrong To Have Sex On The First Date?

You met on a dating site, you have been talking for weeks. Texts and e-mails, phone calls and flirty pics. You know his favorite food, favorite movie, and probably his favorite sexual position. You know her favorite flower, when she lost her virginity, and her favorite dessert. All that is left now is to have that first date. You’re excited and can’t wait to meet this new person who is putting those butterflies in your belly and that anxious, sexual tension in the air. Oh yeah, you are feeling this person. In fact, you want to LITERALLY feel this person all over you, preferably naked. So, how long do you wait? Do you have sex on the first date? Does that make you a whore? Will she think you only want her for sex? Should you make it last longer? What is the answer? Is it wrong to have sex on the first date?

The answer is no. OK, article over.
Seriously, no one can tell you that a choice you make as an adult old enough to consent to sex is “wrong” so of course the answer is no. However, if you are having some doubts about it, or just want to think it through, we can do that.

How well do you know each other?
Not to sound all “Mom” like for you, but, how well do you really know each other? Maybe you have been exchanging texts like horny teenagers (and maybe you are a horny teenager) but how well do you know, and more importantly, trust this person? Have you discussed STDs? Do you know when they were last tested? Do you believe that they want a relationship or do you think they just want sex? Do you just want sex? In short, do you know and trust this person enough to have sex? IF the answer to either of these is “no” then you probably should not be having sex on the first meet.

Do you feel pressured?
I know it seems kind of obvious that no one should ever have sex if they feel pressured in any way, but, sometimes we do not realize we are being pressured while we are in the situation. So, take a moment and think about it, is this person making you feel like sex is expected? Are they consumed with talking about sex in a way that makes you feel like not having sex would cost you their attention? There are many ways that a person could pressure you for sex, and if you at all feel that way you should not be having sex. Wait until things are feeling more relaxed.

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Is it “rebound” sex?
We all get over an ex-lover in different ways, but if you are thinking of having sex with a new person, a stranger, essentially, you should try to make sure it is for the right reasons. If you are going to have sex in rebound this may not be fair to your new partner, and may not be as satisfying as you would like it to be. Rebound sex is sometimes temporarily satisfying, so think of that before you engage in that first date sex.

Are your intentions pure?
Listen, we have all either done it or been a victim of it – meeting someone who says, “I want a relationship” but in essence all they wanted was sex. If you are out there just putting notches on your bedposts, but are telling your new someone that you want a relationship, perhaps you should take stock about this. Having sex on the first date is definitely OK if your intentions are pure, and if you are thinking or acting like this, they are not. When everyone knows the situation and what the expectations are, then it is fair to engage in sex. However, if you are not being authentic, well, that is just not right.

The answer. . . the answer remains that “no” it is not wrong to have sex on the first date, but is it wrong for YOU at this moment to have sex? Are your intentions pure, are you feeling pressured, do you know this person enough, or are you just moving too fast? Those are the questions that need the real answer.

Would You Have Sex On The First Date?
Let Us Know!

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