6 Sexual Skills You Should Have

Have you ever heard that sex is a skill? Well guess what, it really is! Just like most things, practice makes perfect and there are always new techniques to be learning – continuing education as it were. Being good in the sack is a skill that is acquired through many different components and, let’s be honest, is super fun to practice. So, what sexual skills should you hone in on? Here are just 6 of the biggies.

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I firmly believe that for anyone to be a successful lover they have to understand how the human body works – their own and their partners. To understand how to pleasure someone you need to firmly understand how their body works - where the sensitive spots are, where the clitoris is, where the prostate is, how sensitive the penis head is, how firmly to pinch nipples without pain – and other body specifics. It also helps to understand the sexual specifics of how the male and female body works. For example, the male penis isn’t always rock hard, it will naturally go through stages of hardness. Or, how a woman may not climax during intercourse and needs clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Knowing how the human body works is absolutely top priority.

Similarly, you should understand how your OWN body works. Women who never masturbate (for whatever reason) find it difficult at times to orgasm with a partner. This is because they are not familiar with their own body and that causes a disconnect sexually. Exploring what you like and don’t like with your own body is so important to making sex fun and exciting. Comparably, men who have not opened up to the possibility of other types of stimulation (such as some anal play) may be inhibited sexually.

OK, if you are like most people you are not only going to have ONE sexual partner and as such you really need to be aware of your current partner’s likes, dislikes, passions, fantasies and what “buttons” really get him or her going. Even if you are in your first ever relationship the rule is the same: you must be aware of what your partner wants and needs.

Getting to know your partner is a truly fun and exciting part of a sexual relationship. Exploring bodies, learning those special “hot spots” that can render them breathless, figuring out how to make them climax over and over – these are instrumental in making your sex lives wonderful and exciting. No “good” lover has ever become so by ignoring what his or her partner needs and only self-serving. Sex is a delicate dance where you both have to support the other. That is the primary skill of sex that, if observed, will be the ultimate for you both.

If you are able to get pleasure by giving pleasure you will be a much more passionate lover simply because you are not “waiting for your turn” but instead getting satisfaction from pleasuring your partner. There is nothing quite as sexy as knowing that your partner is getting off getting you off! When a woman gives an enthusiastic blowjob that she is clearly enjoying or when a man is going down on his partner and you can tell he loves that he is pleasuring her that is the ultimate turn on in bed. Take time to enjoy what you are sharing with your partner, let their pleasure fuel your pleasure and the result will be an extra hot sexual session!

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I asked my boyfriend what important sexual skills he wants in a lover and he said “have a healthy naughty side.” After exploring what he was referring to I finally narrowed it down to this: don’t be prudish in bed, be open to new things, explore sex outside of the bedroom and keep things fresh and fun. Sex CAN and often does become stale in longer term relationships. We tend to get stuck in a rut sexually and while this is normal in a relationship, it is up to the couple to break out of that redundant mode. So, a great sexual skill to have is knowing how to embrace new ideas, new fantasies, and new sexual techniques to make sex alive and new. Being open to trying a fantasy that your partner has is so important – but to do that you have to ASK what they are. Taking a vested interest in the current desires of your partner is important. When we have a partner who is open to making sex new and exciting, even after years of being together, then sex takes on a new level.

I am sure you were wondering when the sex was going to come into this article on sexual skill…and here it is. Yes, to be a good lover you do have to actually know some sexual techniques. Oral sex skills are absolutely essential to a well-rounded sexual relationship. This means knowing the anatomy, knowing your partner and trying new things – consistently – to continue to surprise them with your skills. You should pay attention to the cues your partner gives you, pay attention to what gets them extra hot, concentrate on learning new things. Watch porn. Yes, I said it. Watch porn, google sexual techniques, read the articles here from our wonderful writers. In short, just be fearless in trying new things and make your sexual skills a step above the normal.

Kissing is essential. Yes, kissing is a skill. We all do kissing differently and that is one of the best parts of sex. Kissing, though, sometimes gets pushed to the background after the first few times connecting sexually. Why? Why do we forget to kiss? Kissing passionately is a skill and even more it is something that amps up sex in general so learn to kiss and enjoy it!

Despite what you may think, being able to have fun during sex IS a skill. Not everyone knows exactly how to let go, be comfortable, be open to sex and all that it involves while, honestly, having fun. There is a great quote, “If there is not laughter during sex you must be doing it wrong.” I believe this. Sex is not a perfect activity. Things happen. Sometimes funny things happen. Enjoy them! Laugh when that fart slips out during oral! Yes, I said it. Tickle your partner during foreplay. Don’t take sex so seriously all the time and allow the fun and playfulness of it to take hold. Yes, you can and should be passionate, but you also should have fun and enjoy being together. Not everything has to be so serious when it comes to sex so have fun! Enjoy yourself, enjoy pleasuring each other, laugh, giggle and just let yourself have the most fun each and every time you connect with your partner.

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