5 Ways To Initiate Sex When She Isn't In The Mood

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We have all had that experience when we want sex but our partner doesn’t. It can be really frustrating when your partner is on a different sex schedule than you are, or, when they seemingly are never in the mood. While this can happen in reverse (the woman is interested, the man isn’t) it more prevalently happens that the woman is the one not in the mood. So, how can you initiate sex when she isn’t giving you the go vibe? Or, should you even initiate sex? Let’s discuss…

How To Tell Her You're In The Mood


Gif of girl saying "Ok fine, stop..no keep going"

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Do you compliment your woman enough? Do you tell her she is beautiful and sexy? I am not referring to right before you want sex, but on a regular basis? Trust me, if she hears you saying she is beautiful then she will feel more beautiful and be more likely to want to have sex. If you already do this, then just kick it up a notch. Tell her how sexy she is, how much she turns you on, how you really want to be with her. It can be as simple as that.


Gif of women straddling man while sitting on the edge of the counter

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I once saw a cartoon that said, “How men tell their wives they want sex” and it had a man poking his woman in the back with his hard on. While this exact method is probably not the most elegant way to initiate nookie, letting her know she turns you on IS a good way to initiate sex. Much like the compliments, letting her know you are hot for her is a great way to get her juices flowing. Physical touch, like a smack to the butt, or a grab of the breasts can also be a way to tell her you are thinking of sex. Be appropriate in front of people or children, though.


Gif of man kissing women's neck in bed

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Sometimes women are not in the mood because they know (or suspect) that sex is about what YOU want as the man; not about what she wants as a woman. Offering to pleasure her, to take your time with her, to give her those sexual moves that she loves is a great way to make her get in the mood. Whispering, “I really want to put my tongue all over that delicious pussy of yours and make you cum” is a very nice way to shift her expectations of sex. Now, here is a word to the not-so-wise: make sure you deliver! If you don’t she will never fall into that trap again.


Couple relaxing in hammock together

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Sometimes women are not in the mood for sex because they are just stressed the hell out! Kids, careers, housework, laundry, cooking, cleaning, PTA, children’s school projects and everything else that goes along with parenting can really derail her sex drive. She may, literally, have not one more ounce of space in her life to have sex with you. So, you need to relax her and pamper her – WITHOUT THE EXPECTATION OF SEX! Yes, you read that right. Yes, this is an article on how to initiate sex, and trust me, this will. She may not give it to you that night, but trust me, if you are consistent with this she will give it up on a more regular basis.


couple raising glasses for a cheer

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The idea here is not to trade a night at Red Lobster for sex. No, it is about having quality time with her – alone – and setting the stage for some romance. When was the last time you romanced her? When was the last time you want to an “adult” restaurant that wasn’t cheap or had an extensive kid’s menu? When was the last time you both got dressed up, went out on the town and just were together as a couple? This is so important to a relationship and if she is continually not in the mood it may be because she feels disconnected to you as a sexual partner. Going out and being together will stimulate those memories of why she wanted to sleep with you in the first place. Just remember, don’t EXPECT sex. Just go out, have fun, be a loving couple, compliment her and be in love. The sex will follow.

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