Are male and female orgasms the same? Yes, but no. The female orgasm is much more complicated, which makes sense because women are more complex in general, right? The definition of orgasm, as given by Masters and Johnson, remains the same in either case as, “The sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region that produce intensely pleasurable sensations followed by rapid relaxation. Orgasm is also in part a psychological experience of pleasure and abandon, when the mind is focused solely on the personal experience.” It is important to note that for females, orgasm does not always mean a “one and done” type experience, as often women may have more than one orgasm, but that is for another article.
An orgasmic experience is different for every person – and – can be different from experience to experience. However, the main components of the event are the same. So, now that you know what it is, let’s take a look at the steps of orgasm. For women, more than men, an orgasm is a whole body experience and oftentimes requires more of a brain-body connection for a woman, than a man. Here is the female orgasm explained...in steps!
STEP 1 - MENTAL AROUSAL
For a woman, the arousal period usually occurs way before sexual situations arise. The mind-body connection starts to happen when a woman is aroused by a man or woman simply speaking aloud, as opposed to a visual appearance or stimulation. Women can also be stimulated visually, as with adult films or pictures, but more often a woman needs a connection of some sort to become aroused. Now, this can vary, and physical attraction is very much a part of the female arousal, but, arousal is more of a delicate dance for a female than it is for a male.
STEP 2 - PHYSICAL AROUSAL
For women, arousal often takes more stimulation in the ways of “physical touch” – also known as foreplay. I don’t mean to insinuate that men are easier to arouse, but, if the shoe fits! Women will begin to work toward their arousal when they are excited physically through kissing, touching, oral sex. Most women need on average 15 minutes of continuous foreplay before they are even ready for intercourse (and orgasm happens more frequently during foreplay such as oral sex). Women can become extremely aroused through touching and stimulation of other parts of their bodies such as their necks and nipples.
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STEP 3 - STIMULATION
In connection with the above, a woman needs clitoral or G-Spot stimulation in order to orgasm. Did you know that women primarily orgasm through clitoral stimulation? Did you know that 85% of women NEED clit stimulation? The clitoris is like a little penis - it has 8,000 nerve endings which is twice as many as in the head of the penis! When the clitoris is stimulated through touch with fingers, tongue, vibrator or penile rubbing it engorges with blood, much like the penis, and the glans around the clitoris also swells (the clitoral hood) in an effort to protect the clitoris from too much direct stimulation.
STEP 3 - PRE-ORGASM
Once the previous steps are achieved, the body begins to prepare for the impending orgasm. Blood rushes to the clitoris and the whole vaginal area, the heart rate increases significantly, nipples may harden, the face and chest can become flushed, breathing becomes more shallow. There may be pelvic thrusting and an involuntary pulsing of the muscles around the vagina and clitoris as they start to contract. There will be increased lubrication produced (“getting wet”) and the body will start to tingle as all the nerve endings become aware.
STEP 4 -
(A) CLITORAL ORGASM
Once the woman has become aroused enough that the orgasm is impending, she begins to feel this overall warmth in her body. These very pleasurable feelings come to a crescendo that results in the involuntary and rapid contraction of the Pubococcygeus (PC or Kegel) and anal muscles. There is usually a slight discharge of female “ejaculate” or "cum" from the vagina which is not the same as male ejaculate, and can vary in consistency and amount. It is thought that this contraction of the muscles is to draw sperm up inside a woman to increase chances of conception. The female orgasm can last from a few seconds to over a minute in some cases. The body explodes in sensations, and then there is a general coming down as well.
(B) INTERNAL ORGASM
A woman can also derive orgasm through a stimulation of the interior of her vagina in combination with clitoral stimulation. This orgasm is different than a plain clitoral orgasm or from a G-Spot orgasm. The same reaction occurs with an internal orgasm as with an external.
(C) G-SPOT ORGASM
Some women are able to achieve what is called a G-Spot orgasm. This occurs when the G-Spot (located 1-3 inches inside the vagina on the top wall) is stimulated enough to produce an orgasm, and many times, female ejaculation. The difference with this type of orgasm is the intensity of it (and the ejaculate). A G-Spot orgasm is oftentimes so incredibly intense that women describe it as “painful” or “fully draining.” Some women experience female ejaculation or "squirting" which produces a different form of female ejaculate than vaginal "cum." Once a g-spot orgasm is achieved, many women are fully spent and very sensitive as well.
STEP 5 - REFRACTORY PERIOD
In direct contrast to a man, a woman’s refractory period can be nearly non-existent, meaning, she can continue to build toward a new orgasm almost immediately. Some women cannot move past the uncomfortable stage of the refractory period and any touching of their clitoris can be downright painful. However, the refractory period can be so slight, mere seconds, that women have the unique ability to have multiple or consecutive orgasms.
Well, now that you have a better understanding of how a female orgasm works you can have a greater appreciation for how complex the cycle is. In understanding how a female comes to orgasm, everyone can have a greater chance at achieving it!
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