12 Hilarious & Realistic Things That Can Happen During Sex
There is a saying that I love – “If you are not laughing during sex then you are doing it wrong!” Usually, this laughter means that we are having fun and enjoying our partner. The laughter is a sound of happiness and contentment when we are appreciating all the experiences we are sharing.
However, there are those times when things happen during sex that we just can’t help but laugh out loud at them! Yes, it is true. Hilariously embarrassing things happen during sex all the time. If none of these things have happened to you, they will! It’s something to dread and look forward to, all at the same time.
The more sex we have, the more likely we will find ourselves in embarrassing and funny situations. It’s part of the human condition, to live and laugh, have sex, enjoy, and sometimes also be mortified. The good times come when you can laugh about it with your partner after they happen.
See how many of these situations you may have been in. Did you laugh or cry or just crack up? Again, if you haven’t experienced them yet, just wait. By the way, one of life’s greatest pleasures is having a partner you can enjoy in bed and laugh with when sometimes things don’t go as planned. AND we are ALL human, so there's really no need to be ashamed if any of these things have happened to your or happen in the future.
1. Oh No You Didn't!
Via bobs--burgers--flipping.tumblr.com
While we would all agree that farting during sex is something that you try to avoid at all costs the fact is, sometimes it just happens. We contort our bodies during sex, and put pressure on our bellies all the time, and this can lead to the unintentional and often embarrassing passing of gas!
My personal experience with this was when I was giving my man a blowjob. My ass was up toward his face as I was kneeling on the bed next to him. He took that opportunity to stick his finger up my butt – usually a very hot experience. When he did, I farted. Not a discreet little one either. A loud, made me stop the action and look back at him fart. All he did was start laughing and said, “That was so hot – literally!” This made me laugh too. It was actually a very intimate moment, albeit not one I want to repeat.
2. Uh, What Was That Sound?
Via gurl.tumblr.com
Ladies and gentlemen “queefing” is not a myth, it is a reality. A reality that can be fairly embarrassing and, well, funny when it happens. Queefing happens when air gets pushed up into the vagina during sex. It can be from a contorted angle or just from the action of intercourse.
Well, the air that goes up must come out, and sometimes it will come out in a puff of air that may or may not be audible! When you can hear it, it is called a queef. This is not a fart, as it comes from the vagina, but in many situations, the couple may think it is. This is embarrassing for a first-timer and probably pretty funny for the experienced players.
3. Did You Just Pee On Me?
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
To pee or not to pee, that is the question. Sometimes it is not even a question, but it just happens. While our bodies do not USUALLY let us pee while we are having sex, urine leakage happens all the time. Especially in the shower!
Imagine you are in the shower with your guy, he turns around to kiss you. Suddenly, you feel a stream of water that is cooler than the rest. You look down and yes, he is peeing on you! It happens. Get a chuckle out of it! Pee happens.
4. Sh*t Happens
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
You may not think this is funny if you are IN the moment, but come on, it really is kinda funny! Many couples engage in a variety of anal action during sex. Be it some anal rimming, a little finger-up-the-butt-action, or full-on anal sex – where there is anal play there is most likely – POOP!
Sometimes just a little, sometimes a whole lot, but if you are not ready to laugh when poop gets on your penis or fingers then you are not ready for anal! Also, please do not be embarrassed! It happens to all of us! Just clean it up and move on.
5. Problematic Positions
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
If you are like many couples you want to put some variety in your sex life via different positions. Perhaps some of these positions require Olympic acrobatic skills, but you still want to try them anyway. The problem is, while it is always fun to try new things, sometimes we overestimate our ability to achieve them.
For example, any position where the man wants to hold his woman up and support her full body weight – completely – should be attempted with caution. You may think she looks light as a feather, but maybe the reality is she isn’t. If you drop her on her butt there may be a shocked look, probably some laughter, and the resolve to just “do it on the bed!”
6. Um...Why Is The Bed Wet?
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
Ah, the wet spot. Established couples fight over the wet spot all the time – namely, who will sleep in it. It can be small and barely noticeable or LARGE and takes up half the bed. OK, well maybe not half the bed. The wet spot is formed by a variety of things.
Spit, cum, ejaculate, sweat – all mixed together to form the physical representation of your lovemaking. Rolling over into the wet spot can cause a knee-jerk reaction of “ewww, what is that?” Totally funny. Totally hot at the same time. Wet spots happen – deal with it!
7. The Anal Walk Of Shame
Via yourreactiongifs.tumblr.com
If you are a lover of anal sex (as I am) you know that a lot of lube is important during anal. You also know that anal sex can create a sort of impaction of the poop in your anal canal. So, after anal sex, when you now need to get up to go to the bathroom and clean up, something really funny, and kinda gross, can happen.
All that lube makes a slippery slide for all the impacted matter and sometimes it doesn’t wait until you have reached the bathroom! Sometimes it starts to ooze out of you as you are walking, and you can feel the warm slickness running down your legs. Or worse, you can feel a rather large “plop” come out and not where you want it to! Yep. Has happened to me to the total hilarity of my partner and the total embarrassment to myself.
8. Momma's Gonna Knock You Out!
Via churchofclueless.tumblr.com
Sex can be a fairly aggressive activity. Bodies being tossed around, thrusting motions and gyrating hips moving our bodies all over the place. What happens when you get a little too enthusiastic and thrust your partner into the headboard, wall, or throw them right off the bed?
Yep, this happens all the time during sex. In the moment, we are, well, in the moment, and may not be paying attention to things like the edge of the bed or how close we are to the headboard. Can make for some pretty interesting sex bruises!
9. Say My Name...Wait....That Isn't My Name!
Via sarahwrar.tumblr.com
We all like to know that while we are in the entanglements of sex that our lover is there only with us, thinking only of us and not anyone else, right? Well, truthfully many people DO think of other people during sex and it is not intentional most of the time.
The problem is when we start yelling out someone’s name passionately and we sometimes say the wrong name! Uh oh, who is in BIG trouble now? The thing is, this is natural. It is like calling your kids by the names of their siblings. This doesn’t mean anything is wrong in your relationship – or with you – so the best thing to do is make a joke out of it and carry on.
10. Can't Get It Up
Via talkn3rdytomee.tumblr.com
I am pretty sure that no man ANYWHERE will admit that those times when he can’t get an erection are at all funny. Of course, no man wants this to happen, especially when he really wants sex! That is the thing about an erection, it has a mind of its own and sometimes he is just not going to get hard.
While this is obviously more embarrassing than funny, you have to find the humor in it. If you have a woman who can laugh it off and move on to other activities (such as saying, “your tongue is always hard!”) then the stigma is gone, and you can proceed. It is a fact of life, guys, limp penis syndrome affects all of you at some point so just try to make the best of it.
11. The Red River Cometh
Via plannedparenthood.tumblr.com
Another fact of life – women have periods. Not only do women get their periods but sometimes they get them when they are not expecting them. Or they think it is over and there is one final BURST of red joy to end the week. It is almost statistically impossible for a woman who gets her period to NOT have at least one instance where the big P comes during sex.
Hopefully, when it does happen the partner you are with doesn’t go running for the shower but just continues on until the end. Period sex can be very gratifying, albeit slightly messy at times, so why not laugh it off and keep on getting it on?
12. Guest Appearance
Via chicastrology.tumblr.com
If you have never had anyone walk in on you during sex then you are clearly in the minority! It is almost like the law of averages, in your life of all the times you are having sex someone WILL walk in on you. If you have children, this becomes even MORE likely because Mommy and Daddy behind a closed-door just begs for their immediate attention at the most inopportune moments.
So, whether it’s your parents (ouch!), your roommates, friends, or your children what do you do when you are in the middle of sex and someone walks in? First, COVER UP! Then, ask the intruder to please close the door or leave the room. Finally, LAUGH! Come on now! It is funny when you are caught red-handed. Just make sure to explain things to the kiddos if necessary.
When I first met my fiancé we had both recently gotten divorced and had not had sex in a while. Our relationship was new and fresh and had finally gotten to the point of being intimate. We had been fooling around on my bed and enjoying each other. We are fucking like two teenagers in heat when his phone rings and it’s his ex calling. The phone announced her name. We both laughed. He turned his phone off and he proceeded to fuck me so hard we broke the bed and just continued with the mattress on the floor. Later we both agreed that we would always turn our phones off so as not to be interrupted.
Okay, so last week my husband was mowing the back yard and I was in the pool, so every time he has to empty the bag on the mower, he would jump in the pool to cool off and have a quickie, (he mows in the nude so I get a show while I’m swimming), he had just emptied the bag for the last time and jumped in the pool with me, we’re going at it and my daughter comes to the back door, (all of our kids are grown and out of the house), she hollers for us and then sees us in the pool and can’t believe what she just saw, because of course in her opinion we’re too old for this sort of thing, I could have sworn I locked all the doors before coming outside. At least she stopped the grandkids from running outside and joining us. Hopefully she’ll call before she pops by to see what’s happening the next time she’s on our side of town. We laughed and carried on.
I am a squirter and had one boyfriend who wouldn’t sleep or even lay in the large wet spot I created. It could of been because he couldn’t make me squirt so after he had cum and was finished I pleasured myself and squirted.
Leave a comment