Men’s Sexual Health
Every person, regardless of sexual activity level, needs to know some basic information regarding sexual health and well-being, as well as information regarding sex in general. Whether we are talking about masturbation, sexual happiness, or general sexual health and safe sex, everyone should invest in learning about their sexual health. Even men. You may think you know everything there is to know about your sexual health and happiness, but do you really? Do you know what sex toys you really should have in your possession? Do you know what the best lubes for masturbation are? Do you know that your partner really, really hates that back-bendy position you put her in all the time? No? Well guess what? We are going to discuss that and much, much more because this is everything men’s sexual health.
For a majority of men – or, people, really – masturbation or self pleasure will be their first instance of sexual pleasure. We begin masturbating in the womb, we continue it as infants for self-soothing, and we use it as adolescents and adults for stress relief and sexual release. Masturbation is natural and healthy and has many health benefits for men, including:
* Stress relief
* Sleep aid
* Boosts sexual libido
* Increase in sexual stamina
So, besides simply feeling good, you can see that there are many positive benefits to masturbation. There are also many ways to go about masturbation, and men tend to find what works and then they go with it forever and ever and ever. But, what about changing things up?
Masturbation Tips. If you think that you should do it as you have been doing it since you were 12 years old – THINK AGAIN! There are many great ways to change up your masturbation time, and here are 5 Unique ways to do this, as found in my blog, 5 Unique Masturbation Tips For Him.
* Play with your balls. So many times men neglect their balls. Why? Does it not feel good when a partner touches or licks them? Of course, it does, so why don’t you give them a little rub or tug. You may find that this adds a whole new layer to your play time.
* Concentrate on the base. In a survey of masturbating men, an overwhelming 87% stated that they usually concentrate on the head of their penis. I get why you would do this, it is the most sensitive part. But, if you try to avoid the head and concentrate on the shaft, then when you DO go to the head, it will be that much more intense.
* Edge yourself. Speaking of intense, what is more intense than edging yourself and making that orgasm SUPER intense. Edging is when you bring yourself to the brink of orgasm, then stop. Then bring yourself to the brink again. Then stop. Oh yeah, so imagine the joy when you finally don’t stop!
* Use a cock ring. What? Alone? Why would you use a cock ring alone? Well, what does a cock ring do? It makes your penis harder and helps to make the erection last longer. So, the longer you can play and pleasure, the longer you get to delay orgasm, the more intense it is (see above). Yep, now you get it.
* Try a masturbation device. Women are not the only ones to have sex toys available to them, men get them too!
So, as I will discuss in the next section in greater detail, you should try a masturbation sleeve or toy. It will bring something extra to play time.
Using a masturbation aid. Yes, it is true, there are many masturbation aids for men to use and they are all fun and add an extra layer to your solo time. If you have never thought about or tried using a masturbation sleeve or a pocket pussy, then you simply must try one. Here are some of the options:
* Masturbation sleeves
* Hidden masturbation sleeves
* Realistic oral sex simulators
* Realistic vaginal simulators
* Realistic anal simulators
* Vibrating/ suction masturbators
* Penis pumps
* Masturbation lotions/ gels
* Prostate Massagers
* Sex dolls
Wow. That is a whole lot of options, isn’t it? And there are so many great options in each of these categories. The key is, when a man uses a masturbation sleeve or a realistic vagina / anal canal, he not only has a whole different sensation, because it is NOT his hand, but he also gets a visual aspect. Many of these items are visually appealing as well, and this adds that extra layer. If you have questions regarding these items, what they are or why you should have them, check out my blog,
You know what else is new and exciting in the world of male masturbation? Virtual reality masturbation. Yes, you read that correctly. Combining a sensual masturbation sleeve, with a virtual reality headset allows him to take that fantasy to a whole, new level! Not yet available for women, so use that to your advantage you lucky guys!
2. Finding a partner.
Perhaps, you feel you are ready to explore dating and sex with a partner. Do you even know how to find someone to date, let alone have sex with? Well, in today’s world everything seems to be digital and online – this means online dating. Dating sites have both positive and negative reputations, and ultimately, they are as good or bad as you make them. Some sites are more, shall we say “reputable” than others, and those which are more skanky should be avoided all-together. The issue, however, is – all the sites tend to have the good, the bad, the ugly and the HELL NO as far as people you should feel confident interacting with. While all these sites ultimately provide the same thing – the hope and promise of new love – they all also have those people whom you should never, ever sleep with. So, whether you are on Tinder, Match, OKCupid, E-Harmony or any other dating site, here are 5 “types” of people you should NEVER sleep with from a dating site. ESPECIALLY, if it is your first time. These are the HELL NO girls:
1. Eager Beavers. No, I don’t mean the girls who are sooooo eager to meet you (although, be careful of those too). I mean those girls who are sending you nude shots of them in lingerie, in front of their bathroom mirror, or laying in bed seductively. I know you are a man and I know you love boobs and vaginas and naked women. I also know that the idea of getting sexy nude pictures from pretty, new girls is very, very enticing. I get it, I truly do. However, here is the thing – do you think that she is ONLY sending her boob pictures to you? Or, do you perhaps think she is sending them to every guy she is messaging? This is her right and if she wants to do this it is her choice, but, what do YOU want? The greater issue here is not that she is proud of her body – that is always a plus – but, she is most likely doing this to get some sort of validation and that is not the kind of girl who you want to go down the sex road with. Girls who are too quick in sending the nudes will constantly need the validation, and if you decide to have sex with them, this cycle is likely to never stop. So, yes, you like the boob pictures, but watch for the eager beaver shooters and save yourself the heartache.
2. The “I think I love you” girl. You are having some nice conversations and she seems very cool. You have a lot in common. Things are going well. Then, one day, out of nowhere comes a message along the lines of, “Hey, so, yeah, I really feel strongly about you, in fact, I think I could love you.” Back away and do it fast. Listen, let’s be honest here, if she is already telling you she loves you then what do you think is going to happen once you have sex? Women are notorious for getting emotionally attached after sex. Yeah, now you are seeing the issue, right? I am not going to tell you that love can’t happen fast. I am not even going to tell you that it is not possible to fall in love before meeting someone. However, sleeping with someone who you love – really love – is a wonderful thing, so unless you literally love her too, then you should not be sleeping with the I love you girl.
3. The “can’t hide the crazy” girl. It is true that you meet all kinds on dating sites. Wonderful people, stunning and fantastic human beings. However, you also have the possibility of meeting truly crazy people. The thing is about them is that they do not show their true colors right away. It may take a couple of messages, or even a lot of messages but one thing is really true – a cray cray girl will show her cray cray colors eventually. So, if you start feeling that things are not quite right, that things are not adding up, or that her moods are back and forth to the point of it feeling like you are texting two separate people – then RUN and consider changing your phone number. The last thing you want to do is involve sex into an unstable relationship. If you are unsure of the mental stability of your potential date, then do not cross the sex line. Cray cray is always cray cray.
4. The “How many baby daddies you got” girl. There are a lot of women on dating sites that have children, this is a perfectly natural state of being. No one is judging women who have multiple children or even multiple children from different fathers. However, if the woman who you are contemplating sleeping with has, what seems to you, to be TOO many children with multiple fathers. Well, ask yourself if you are ready to be the next Baby Daddy in her life. For some women finding a new man in hopes of him being THE man to take care of her and all her offspring is a real quest. The best way to draw or entice a new partner is to lure him in with sex. I know this sounds judgmental, and not all women with many children are like this. However, if you are going to sleep with multiple baby daddy girl then make sure you double wrap it and pull out! No joke.
If you want to read up more on these girls and why you should tread carefully with them, read, The 5 People HE Should Never Sleep With From A Dating Site.
5. The “where are you, what are you doing, are you coming over, why aren’t you texting me” girl. Hell, I am exhausted from just typing that. You know the one I am talking about, right? “Where are you?” “Why are you not texting me back?” “I saw you logged on today, why did you not answer my e-mail?” “How many girls are you talking to?” “Hey, if you are not going to respond to my e-mail then screw you!" Yep. Say hello to clingy girl. Clingy girls are desperate. Clingy girls are needy. Clingy girls are unable to be alone. Clingy girls become ULTRA Clingy Girl once you sleep with them. If you think she is clingy now imagine how clingy she will become once you sleep with her and you notice she is stalking your dating site profile. Clingy girl will become a force to be reckoned with if she thinks you slept with her and are going to sleep with others. She will hunt you down, monitor your dating site, send you texts and messages and e-mails until you are literally so consumed with her that it is impossible to stay on the dating site. Oh yes, make no mistake, clingy girl is NOT a person to have a relationship with nor is she someone who you should be sleeping with.
3. First Time Sex.
There is a cliché, “Men are always thinking about sex!” While this is not exactly true, men do tend to think about sex a lot. In fact, I wrote a whole blog all about this, Why Sex Is Always On His Mind. And men who are having sex for the first time have to remember one very important thing: it is NOT all about them. When a woman agrees to have sex with you (whether it is her first time or not) she is giving you her trust and her body. Therefore, it is important that you make an effort to make this first time as wonderful for her as it is for you. Here are some tips to make first time sex go wonderfully for both of you:
* Are you ready? I know you think that this is a stupid question, but truly, are you ready? Are you ready for the emotional consequences and the pressures that come with this action?
* Do you want to have sex with this person? It is true what they say, you will never forget your first time, so make sure you are really thinking about whether she / he is THE ONE you want to share this with.
* Do not be impaired. I know you are nervous, we all are that first time. However, if you are so drunk you can’t feel anything, what good will that be? Skip the drinks and drugs and just enjoy.
* Never force her. Never, under any circumstances, force anyone to engage in any sexual actions. Also, never feel forced to engage in any sexual actions YOU do not want to either. Men can be forced and raped, so make sure that you are consenting too.
* Foreplay. Sex is about connection and intimacy. Make sure that your partner is ready for sex by engaging in foreplay. Whether you have already engaged in activities like kissing, fingering or oral sex, you can and should incorporate them into your sexual scenarios.
* Be prepared - with a condom, use birth control. No sex is worth an unplanned pregnancy or an STD. Make sure you are prepared each and every time you have sex.
* Try to relax and take your time. I know this is your first time but try to enjoy the experience. Your first time only comes once in a lifetime.
For more information on how to get the most out of your first time, read Tips For First Time Sex For Him.
So, the takeaway from the fantasy section is to understand that your partner may not be ready or willing to participate and knowing beforehand how important this is to bring up, to request, or to do. For more information see my blog, How To Admit A Fantasy To Your Partner and 5 Fantasies That He Has. ALSO, it probably goes without saying but you should always, always have safe sex! Condoms, dental dams, birth control, spermicides – you need to protect yourself from STDs and from possible unwanted pregnancies always. This is the most important thing when it comes to having sex.
4. Making Partner Sex Awesome.
For purposes of this article I will use the standard formation of a male/ female sexual coupling. There are, of course, many different types of sexual relationships. However, in the interest of brevity, we will discuss only the male-female sexual interaction. If you are a sexually active couple, then you likely are looking for ways to make sex with her amazing. Learning about new techniques, positions, likes, dislikes and fantasies are all great ways to keep that sex super-hot between you. Since sex is a very important part of intimacy, it is important to make sure your partner is enjoying herself.
Make her feel wanted. The more wanted, desired and loved a woman feels, the better sex will be for her and the better it will be for you. Trust me on this one. I tend to believe that there are 12 main things that a man needs to do on the regular to make his lover feel wanted. These are important, so please read 12 Ways To Make Her Feel Wanted. The highlights are here:
* Compliment Her. Tell her she is beautiful, sexy, lovely, erotic. Tell her all the time.
* Touch Her. Not just when you want sex, but all the time. Little touches.
* Get Her a Gift. For no reason. Something small. Just ‘cause.
* Say “Thank you.” Tell her you appreciate that she made your lunch.
* Be a Little Possessive. Not crazy jealous as that can be the least sexy thing, just be nicely possessive. Nicely put her in place.
* Be Romantic. Yes, you can do it and you do know how.
* Be Sincere. Make your words and actions match. Do you love her? Show her.
If you want to know more about how to make her happy, horny and excited, read 10 Things You Do To Make Her Horny.
Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. The best sex between a couple is when they are engaged in the pleasure exchange. This is when they both care equally about getting the other one off. For a woman, this means FOREPLAY and more foreplay. The female body has so many erogenous zones that you should easily be able to find ways to drive her crazy. While every woman is different, here are 7 spots that tend to be the hot zones for pleasure:
* Back of her neck
* Between or under her breasts
* Belly button down to above her mound
* Inner thighs
* Lower back
For specifics on how to tease and tantalize all these spots, see 7 Spots To Kiss And Touch To Drive Her Crazy.
Oral sex is a must. Yes, you read that correctly. Oral sex is an absolute must-do. Women are more challenging when it comes to orgasm and for many women, upwards of 85%, the only way they will orgasm is through clitoral stimulation. Often, the best way to provide this stimulation is through oral sex. Therefore, it is very important to know how to do this adequately. Here are 7 tips - as described in 7 Oral Sex Tips Every Guy Should Know - to help you be successful down below:
1. Avoid The Clit For A Bit. I know you are confused here, right? After all, the clit is what drives her crazy! You know it is the central place for all things wonderful, wet and tingly but I want you all to AVOID the clit for a bit. Say it with me: Avoid the clit, for a bit! Why? Well, anticipation is a giant part of ramping her up and getting her ready for that orgasm. Plus, wouldn’t it be fun to play around down there a bit before you go right for the hot button? She has a lot of other yummy spots to pamper before you go for the goal – so take your time, explore other parts of her, breathe hot air right on her sensitive spots – but take your time getting to the clit. It will be worth the build-up, I guarantee!
2. Lap At Her Lips. Women are blessed with 2 sets of vaginal lips (labia) that also can provide a wonderful amount of pleasure to her. Especially those inner lips which protect her clitoris and vaginal entrance. Playing with her lips via gently pulling, sucking, licking and otherwise playing with them (in concert with clitoral stimulation) will drive her absolutely wild! In fact, if you spread her inner lips open with your fingers while you lick around and inside of her it will feel much more intense than if you let the lips hang naturally. Also, for some women, licking and rapidly moving the lips can build up to an orgasm much more quickly.
3. Vary Your Motions. Do you think that there is only one way to eat her out? There are countless wonderful ways to give her oral attention. The most successful methods are when you vary what you are doing and keep her guessing! Spend some time sucking on her lips, then around her inner thighs, then maybe her clit for a bit. Try different techniques. Add in a little clit nibbling, or perhaps even suck in her vaginal lips gently and release and repeat. The gist of this is to give her multiple stimulations that build her up to a beautiful orgasm at the end!
4. Use Your Fingers. Your fingers are a wonderful addition to oral sex. Whether you are holding her vaginal lips open, flicking her clit a bit, pulling on her lips or just fingering her in general – the fingers are an important part of the play. In fact, close to the time of orgasm a finger or two placed inside the vagina internally stimulating her while you concentrate on her clit with your tongue can bring her hastily to a very intense orgasm! Women like different types of fingering – some like rapid and deep penetration, others like just a tease of a finger inside, while others may like a few fingers stretching and filling them. Experiment with what she likes and see what delivers her to the land of orgasm!
5. Try Anal Stimulation. Keep in mind that a little finger stimulation to the anus can be extremely fun and erotic, and even women who do not think they like anal play (or who do not like anal sex) can go nuts for a little finger insertion during oral. There are rules to this, of course, one of which is to never just jam a finger up there! You must lubricate it (preferably with lube, but a lot of spit works too). You also must NEVER go from the butt to the vagina. That is a sure-fire way to give her a nasty infection. The idea is just to give her some stimulation, not full on penetration.
6. Try for the G! Ahhhh, the G-Spot. That wonderful spot inside her vagina that is about 2-3 inches inside on the top (belly) side. While there are many different roads to take here, (a) try to make her have a G-Spot orgasm or (b) just stimulate her G-Spot for some extra sensations without a goal of a G-Spot orgasm. Either way, when you are down between her legs and teasing her with your tongue it is the absolute perfect time to see what stimulating her G-Spot will do!
7. Do NOT Stop. One of the most disappointing things for a woman is to get oh, so close to an orgasm and then BAM – it goes away! That is why it is so important that once you start to get her riled up and close to her climax that you DO NOT stop. I don’t care if your tongue is cramping and your mouth is chapped – DO NOT STOP! Think about what it would be like if she was about to make you orgasm with her mouth and then she stopped. Yep, now you get it! So, if you can tell it is getting closer to climax time and what you are doing is working just keep going until she orgasms! You can do it!
And, since I can’t emphasize enough just how important oral sex is, here is another blog to help you even MORE (or, to help her), How To Eat Her Out.
Oral sex snafus. So, you now see how important oral sex is for her (and for you) so perhaps it would be wise to discuss some mistakes that you can (and may have) make while going down on her. For the complete list and explanation, see 8 Mistakes You Can Make Eating Her Out:
1. You Don't Hit Her Clit. Really dude. Learn it, love it. Hit it.
2. Over-Zealous Fingering! We like fingering, but we don’t like feeling like you are shoving your hand up a turkey to stuff it. Enough said.
3. Ignoring Her Labia. These are pussy lips. They like to be touched and licked.
4. Licking Too Gently. We need to be able to FEEL your tongue down there.
5. Untrimmed Fingernails. Really? You are not a rookie here. Make sure your nails are smooth and short.
6. Ignoring Her Other Parts. Yes, you concentrate on her lower area, but you also touch her breasts, stomach, thighs…everywhere you can.
7. Ignoring Her Cues. This means figuring out if she is inching down or up – this means she wants you to MOVE your tongue. Is she writhing madly – she may be close to orgasm.
8. Stopping Before the Finale!! I can’t even tell you how bad this is. Do not, ever, stop before she climaxes. Especially if she says she is close.
Did she have an orgasm? Do you just assume that your lover had an orgasm? Or, do you know the real, legitimate indications that she is climaxing? Yeah, probably some good information to have if you want to be a fantastic lover, right? There are some signs that all or most women exhibit that indicate her orgasm. Memorize these. Look for these. Strive for these!
For more specifics, read on this here, Signs Of A Real Orgasm.
1. Moving and Moaning. When women have orgasms they tend to writhe around, specifically into the pleasure that they are feeling. No woman ever has an orgasm with a limp and relaxed body. No woman. Ever. It is physically impossible for her body to be experiencing orgasm while remaining completely relaxed. Her muscles will tighten, and she will momentarily become stiffer, tremble, muscles contracting in her abdomen and legs. Now post orgasm is another story, this is when she should experience some severe relaxation.
2. Rapid Heartbeat. Does her heart go pitter-patter at your mere touch? If not, she is probably not having an orgasm. When a woman is in the orgasmic sequence, adrenaline rushes through the body before orgasm and this increases heartbeat. Even if she is not “doing any work” per se, such as being the recipient of oral sex, her heart rate will increase dramatically before orgasm occurs. So, if you notice her heart is about to pound out of her chest – orgasm is imminent. Furthermore, if you think she has just had a climax and want to confirm it, check her heart baby.
3. Breathlessness. It is nearly impossible for a woman to have a true orgasm and not be somewhat breathless after it. Impending orgasm induces rapid breathing – almost panting – and if she is really having that orgasm chances are that she will be a little more than slightly out of breath. Contrarily, if she is just lying there quietly and her breathing never gets more rapid than “nap taking” you can bet she probably didn’t really orgasm.
4. Nipples Harden. While this one is not the most definitive, because women can have hard nipples at other times besides orgasm, the truth is it would be extremely rare for a woman to climax and NOT have hard nipples during and after. The body is super sensitive, and every sensation causes the skin to become alive, including the nipples.
5. Pupiles Dilate. You probably can’t see her pupils during sex, but if you happen to be looking into her sex-smitten eyes you would notice that her pupils will dilate, and oftentimes she cannot keep her eyes open during the actual orgasm.
6. Vaginal Contractions. Of all the orgasm signals this is most likely the one that can’t be faked. It is also easier to discern because you can feel it while you are pleasing her. Whether it be during sex or oral, what you are looking for is the fast and hard contractions of her vagina. In orgasm all the muscles down there (pelvic and rectal) contract. If you happen to be able to look at her mid-orgasm you will see the anus “pucker” and the vagina will also open and close in contraction. If you are having intercourse you will feel it on your penis and with oral sex on your fingers or tongue. During orgasm the vaginal and rectal areas contract and pulse rapidly and it is uncontrollable. It is also extremely hard to fake these types of contractions because they are EXTREMELY strong, are the entire vaginal canal (not just the opening) and they occur in rapid succession.
Things HE should do better. We can all improve, right? We can all find ways to make our lovers more satisfied. There are many things that men can and should do better in bed to help make sex amazing. Oral sex is a HUGE one, agreed? So very important to master that skill. How about not giving up with only one orgasm? Women are blessed with the ability to orgasm more than once, often within a short time span, so it is always a sign of a good lover if you go for more than one. If you want to know more things that you can and should do better in bed, read Things He Can Do Better In Bed and also see, 8 Things He Can Think About To Cum Faster, if you seem to be having issues coming to climax. Yes, most women want you to last a while, but the reverse can be an issue too, so if this is you, check out that article.
Things HE should NOT do. Just as there are all of these things TO do, there are just as many things NOT to do. You want to keep your lover craving sex with you, not running from the bedroom screaming “NO, NO, NO!” So, it may be helpful to note those things that will definitely NOT help make sex awesome. These are important things to note guys, so make sure you read up on all of them here, 6 Things Men Do That Turn Women Off. Here are just a few:
Signs that she is no longer into you. Maybe you have already made some mistakes and your lover is showing signs that things are changing. This may mean she is no longer into you sexually! How do you know? Are you paying enough attention to her to notice? I can assure you, if she is doing one or more of these things, she may be losing interest in you:
* Ogling Other Women.Yes, we notice other men. Yes, we look. Usually, though, we do not drool and our tongues do not hang out like cartoon characters. Reign it in guys.
* Being a Pretentious, Arrogant Ass. Self confidence = sexy. Arrogance = turn off! Huge, huge, huge turn off.
* Being Lazy. Dude, really? Take a nap just don’t take a 6-hour nap. Don’t be lazy in general and definitely do not be lazy in bed
* She Stops the Sex. Seems like common sense, but if she is not initiating or consenting to sex, there is likely a huge issue.
* Lack of Effort. No make-up, hair, or otherwise attention to personal grooming. Has she stopped shaving her legs? Her armpits? Does she even do her hair anymore?
* Kissing Stops. Kissing is very important and intimate, and when people lose interest, this is often the first to go
* Touching Stops. If she used to hug you, or slap your butt as you walked by and now she doesn’t, well, that speaks volumes.
I am very sure this section has your attention – so read all the signs and more here 6 Signs She Is Not Into You Anymore.
Getting her in the mood. Maybe your lover hasn’t checked out on you but may just not be in the mood for sex. Sometimes, often actually, one partner will want sex and the other will not. More often that not it is the female partner who is not feeling it. So, how can you initiate sex if she is not in the mood. For specifics and more detailed descriptions, read 5 Ways To Initiate Sex When She Isn’t In The Mood. Or, just check out this below for the quick and dirty details:
* Compliment Her. Tell her she is beautiful, that you love her, that she is super sexy. Women love to get compliments and they can put her into a sexy mood.
* Physical Touch. Rub her back, pat her backside, nibble her neck – touch her in an intimate and suggestive way. She may respond favorably and touch YOU back!
* Make It About Her. Sometimes a woman is just not feeling like putting in the work (and yes, I know how that sounds) but if you offer to make it about her, guess what? Soon she will make it about you.
* Pamper Her. There is a reason why a back rub is the transition to sex. When a woman feels pampered and relaxed she is often in a more sexual mood.
* Take Her Out. Get her OUT of the house. Take her to a nice dinner. In short, date her. This puts her in “date mind” which, often, means sex.
* Tell Her you NEED Her. Yes, seriously. Tell her you are horny and simply must have sex with her. Do it nicely, not grossly, and be honest. Knowing we are wanted is a huge turn on.
Sex positions HE loves. To round out the discussion on how to be a good and attentive lover to make sex better for you, let’s have a short talk about sexual positions. We all have our favorite – and not so favorite – sexual positions. If you are fairly new to sex, then you may still be figuring some of these out. There are some positions which are known to be male favorites. Are any of yours on this list:
These are just a few of the positions men love. There are so many positions to explore and some favorites are not the standards. For more ideas, please read 5 Sex Positions Men Love.
* Doggy. Ah yes doggy style. Men LOVE doggy style. Coming at her from behind this deep penetrating position lets him have all the control and puts him in a very powerful position.
* Woman on Top. Men love when their partner is on top for obvious reasons. It is a great visual to watch her enjoying you, you can reach out and touch all of her best parts, you can relax a bit and just enjoy the pleasure, and it feels amazing.
* Missionary. Missionary is a classic for a reason – it feels amazing. This is a great position for getting her off and because of that YOU will get off. It is intimate, you can look at your lover, and it is erotic too.
* Bedside or Table Top. Pretty much any position that places her on her back and you standing is a huge favorite because of the absolutely stunning visual of her fully displayed in front of you. Add to that the control you have and the fact that you can reach down and pleasure her. Oh yes, definitely a favorite
* Seated position. If you have ever tried this position you know why it is a favorite. You sit on a chair or ottoman (preferable without arms) and she will sit on top of you facing either toward or away. You get a deep, deep penetration and you also get a very intimate closeness.
* Reverse cowgirl. This is the woman on top position but in reverse! For men who are attached to the booty, this is a great visual as she will be facing your feet as she rides you. A deep position sure to get her ready for climax.
Sex Positions SHE Hates. If you think that women love to be turned into a pretzel during sex just because her legs can bend that way, think again. Women, too, have their favorite sexual positions and then they have those they hate. Granted, some women will love a position that others will hate, so make sure you are asking your partner if she likes any of these:
* 69 or 96. Oh sure, a 69 can be a fun position when you are thin, flexible and in your 20s, but when you are overweight this doesn’t really work. Since a woman loves her oral sex time, being made to pleasure you takes some of the joy out of it for her.
* Reverse Cowgirl. What? You thought women loved this one didn’t you? Well, some do, this is true, but many do not. Women love intimacy and eye contact, and how can she get that if she is facing away from you? She may enjoy the feeling, but not the fact that you are staring at her butt.
* Upside Down. Any time you want your woman to hang upside down she may not be a fan. Whether that be head dangling off the bed for a blowjob, her hands on the floor while you take her doggy, or any other rendition you found in your positional guide that places her head below her knees.
* Acrobatic Bends. Yes, the idea of bending her like a Chinese acrobat is fairly sexy, I get that, but most women are NOT acrobats. Therefore, having our legs pushed behind our heads sort of hurts and this can cause cramping and discomfort, and why would we want that during sex?
* Doggy. I know man, you are bummed. Many women DO love the doggy style, but the women who hate it – HATE IT. Some women find this uncomfortable due to penetration, or they hate it because they find it demeaning. If you are a fan of doggy, ask your lover if she likes or hates it.
* Anal. Ok, not technically a position, but still. There are women who love anal sex (me, me, me!) and then there are those who hate it, won’t try it, don’t want to try it, don’t ask them to try it.
* Woman on Top. Listen, it is not always easy for a woman to be on top. There are a lot of considerations. Most women love to take their power and ride you, but some really do not like it. Better find out where your woman falls on that spectrum.
* Froggy or Squatting. Sure, these positions look GREAT in porn. The woman squatting over her man, effortlessly moving atop him. How many of us can actually maintain that position? Or, maintain it ON A BED? Not many. So, if she can do this position you are a lucky guy.
I am sorry to have burst your bubble guys. There are reasons she may not like some of these positions. To find out what they are, go here 7 Sex Positions She Actually Hates.
5. Sexual Issues.
Sometimes in life things we do not want to happen – happen. Imagine you are having a wonderful time with a new partner (or even a long-term partner)and you are ready to have sex and you notice that, well, your penis is not cooperating. Maybe he won’t stay hard, maybe he won’t get hard at all. What do you do when YOU are the one standing between you and great sex? Well, first DO NOT FREAK OUT. I am serious. I know you will freak out, but seriously try not to. This DOES happen to most men (like 90% of all men) at some point in their lives. It is not always something to be concerned about. However, if this happens to you more than once and you can’t link it to something like a night of heavy drinking or severe performance anxiety, then it is time to investigate it. When you have problems with your penis this is called Erectile Dysfunction or ED, and there are many different variations of these issues. So, there are important steps you must go through to explore what is going on.
See a doctor. The very first thing you do when you notice that this is happening is to go see a doctor. You can start with your regular physician and he or she may refer you to a specialist. Do not be embarrassed, these doctors have heard it all! Be honest about how often it happens and when it happens. You need to confirm what is going on. There are many reasons why this could be happening, and your doctor will explore them. Here are the major culprits to ED:
* Medicinal Side Effects. Certain medications can cause ED issues.
* Alcohol or Drug Impairment. Yes, it is true, some men will experience ED if they are too drunk, stoned, or otherwise impaired.
* Weight Gain. Some men will experience mild to moderate ED if they gain a substantial amount of weight. Usually the effects are reversed if they lose the weight.
* Stress or Conflict. Women are not the only ones affected by stress in a relationship. Some men will encounter ED if there is a problem with their partner.
Once you have ruled out the above (if the ED does not improve with discontinuation of the medicine, when sober, when the weight is lost or if the conflict is resolved), it is imperative to tell your doctor that things are not improving and insist on seeing a specialist like a urologist or other medical doctor. There are tests that they can do to find out just how severe your ED is, as well as offer you medicinal help (Cialis, Viagra) when appropriate to combat it.
After your ED diagnosis. If a doctor has diagnosed, you with ED then he has most likely told you how severe it is and if there is anything you can or should do to help. Some ED is caused by blood flow issues to the penis (meaning, the valve that keeps the blood IN the penis when you have an erection is not working properly). There are surgeries and medications that can help with this. There are many therapies (talk and sex therapy), along with other methods such as penis pumping or penis training that can be tried.
However, you are most likely very embarrassed and upset that this is happening to you. The last thing you want to do is to share this with your partner, or even think about having sex again. You may contemplate becoming a single hermit and just living a life of chastity. Don’t do this. Yes, you need to process this information and do some research (perhaps coming to this article), you need to allow yourself to come to some sort of understanding with yourself that this will impact your sex life, but it doesn’t have to end it. Yell, scream, cry or even laugh if you want, but get all those emotions out, and then move on to the next step: telling your partner.
How to tell your partner. The first thing you have to know is that this is not something to be embarrassed by. It happens, as I said, to 90% of ALL men. So, no matter how embarrassed you are, you MUST have an honest conversation with your partner about what is going on. The primary reason is that relationships need to be based on honesty. The next pressing issue is that if you are having ED issues, or if you have been avoiding sex, your partner may begin to think that it is her fault or that you no longer find her attractive. It is unfair to allow her to feel this way if it has nothing to do with her. So, it is absolutely essential that you tell your partner. Sit her down and explain things to her, tell her what the doctor said and what he recommended. Keep in mind it may take some time for her to adjust too, so be comforting and explanatory. Together you should be able to find ways to enjoy your intimacy.
Women are not always as understanding as you may like. It is sad for us to lose your penis too. Especially if you have been pulling back from us sexually, we may be confused, scared and upset. Here is where research and finding out the important information becomes important. Give her the literature from the doctor, show her articles on the net, and reassure her that this is not her “fault” or doesn’t have to do with her at all.
Preparing a possible partner. No, you do not want to lead with, “Nice to meet you, by the way I have ED.” However, there is going to be a time that you should tell a new partner because new sex is very tentative and scary for both partners, and I am sure you do not want her to think that she is the issue. So, depending on how severe your ED is can dictate when and if you have this talk. For example, there is no reason to tell your partner that you have to take a little Cialis once in a while. Especially if it is the first time. However, if you have substantial issues with sex the first time with this new partner then it may be time to have a talk. Of course, if things get serious and steady between you then having the conversation becomes more pressing.
Intimacy without sex. There really is more to a relationship than sex, especially in long term relationships – there is more to it than sex. Yes, sex is an important to a couple, but it is not all there is. Not only that, but there are more options than just physical intercourse. Intimacy takes many forms and includes a wide range of sexual actions – fingering, oral sex, cuddling, kissing, toys – all can be experimented with in order to keep the physical bond between you. What is most important is that you both figure out ways to keep this intimacy alive. If you refrain from having sex, or stop the moment you start to have a physical issue, then the relationship will fall apart. Not based on lack of sex, but based on lack of intimacy. If you and your partner understand what is happening to your body and can find other ways to enjoy each other, then that will be the glue that keeps you together.
Ideas to help you deal with it. It goes without saying that you want to please your partner. There are many ways to accomplish this, and one of the best ways is to shop together for sexual aids that can be used on those occasions when things do not go the way you would like. As I discuss in depth in my blog, What To Do When You Find Out You Have ED, there are many options to help you remain intimate with your partner, so check it out.
This is an extremely important part of sexual health because if you are sexually active you should be taking steps to monitor your sexual health, and this means getting tested regularly for STDs. Unless you are in a long term, monogamous relationship then it is absolutely essential to be tested for STDs. It is also imperative that you ask your physician or clinic to run the entire STD panel, including Herpes and HIV. Many doctors will not run the herpes panel because so many people have HSV1 (Herpes Simplex Virus 1 – or cold sores) – but it is essential to check for both HSV1 and HSV2 (HSV2 being genital herpes.) So, if you have been tested and you find out you have an STD, what do you do?
Ask questions. If your doctor has informed you that you have an STD it is absolutely of the highest importance that you find out all you can about the disease or infection that you have. Some conditions are chronic, meaning there is no cure. Others can be treated with antibiotics or other medications. Some are absolutely life threatening. So, calmly ask your doctor all there is to know:
* What do I have?
* How could I have gotten this?
* Can I pass it to others?
* Is there a cure?
* What are the symptoms?
* If it isn’t curable, how can I treat it? What can help with symptoms or incidents of breakouts
* How do I protect my partner?
* How long until I can have sex again?
* Do I need to tell my previous partners?
* What do I tell my previous partners?
As I discuss in depth in my article, Men’s Guide To Dealing With STDs, there are some things that you MUST do in order to protect yourself, your partner, and to help you deal with this diagnosis:
1. Take the medications / abstain from sex until you have the go ahead
2. Talk to your current partner honestly and openly
3. Make sure your current partner sees a doctor
4. Talk to your previous partners to ensure that the cycle is ended, and you are not continually passing an STD along
5. Research the STD
Your sex life doesn’t have to end after an STD diagnosis, but it does have to change at least a little bit. Consider your partner and do the right thing.
6. Find a support group. This is especially important if you have an incurable STD, such as HIV or Herpes.
Final thoughts. Bet you had no idea that there was so much to consider when it comes to your sexual health. All of these things are so important for your own health and happiness, as well as your partners’.