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The Importance of Sex in a Relationship

Posted by Mikayla to General / Misc Info
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This may seem like a no-brainer that sex is important in a relationship, but to some people it really isn’t a priority.  How many times have you heard someone say, “Sex is not ALL there is in a relationship!”  Or, how many times have you heard your girlfriends complain, “All he wants to do is have sex, I am not a sex machine!”  While it is absolutely true that sex is NOT all that is important in a relationship, sex is a very integral and central part of any intimate relationship.  Without sex you have a friendship.  Sexual activity is what sets aside roommates and friends from lovers.  When I say “sex” I am not only talking about penetrative sexual intercourse but the whole realm of sexual activity from kissing to oral sex to vaginal (or anal) sex.  Sexual activity is something that couple should enjoy experiencing together and look forward to.

Please note:  there are circumstances (usually medical) where sex may not be possible.  In situations such as these, keeping the sexual intimacy alive through other activities is necessary.  So, if you have a situation where sex is not possible (or very limited) please read this article in the light of general sexual activity.

INTIMACY:  The number one thing that sex does for a couple is to provide 
intimacy.  When a couple engages in sexual activity this is a private time just for the two of them, where sexual activity is the only thing on the agenda.  It allows a couple to be completely engaged with the other and creates a feeling of Passionate Couple In Bedintimacy and closeness.  For women, especially, lovemaking can be an integral part of intimacy.  For men, this is just as important to maintaining closeness with their partner.  Sexual intimacy is just a portion of general intimacy.  While sex can and never should be all there is in a relationship, it does have a prominent place.

Why Foreplay Is Essential

STRESS RELIEF:  Feeling a bit stressed out?  Can’t get your mind off that big job at work?  Feeling a bit tight on money this month?  Kids really grating on your nerves?  We can’t erase all the things that are going on in our lives, life can be stressful.  We can, however, enjoy some good ole fashioned stress relief by having sex.  Sex is a physical way to reduce stress – just like exercise.  Plus, it is a lot of fun!

When we take the time to engage in sex with our partner we can forget about life’s worries for a little while, connect with our partner, release tension and, yes, have an orgasm (or 4).  Physically speaking, when we have an orgasm our bodies feel more relaxed, our muscles less tense and the hormones that are excreted during sexual activity act as the body’s natural calming agents.  This is the same for men and women – and on some levels is more important for men.  So, if you are stressed out – instead of having a beer – have sex!

FUN:  In case you have missed the memo:  SEX IS FUN!  Couples should have all kinds of fun together, including SEX!  During a sexual session a couple gets to explore each other, laugh, wrestle, tickle, flirt, and pleasure each other.  All of these things are fun and a relationship with no fun is doomed to die.  If you are in a relationship where you are just sort of “being” together without laughs and activities and spending quality time together then it is possible that your sex life will also be suffering.  It is important to remember that there should be fun in a relationship – and part of that fun should be sex!  If sex is not fun to you, then you are obviously doing something wrong!

CONNECTING / RECONNECTING:  Oftentimes when we feel disconnected from our partner we also do not feel sexual toward them.  Sex is a way of reconnecting with our partner on a level only the two of you can connect on.  If you do not live in the same house and are in a dating situation, then there should be a wide range of activities you both engage in:  dinners, movies, walks, talk and SEX.  If you are doing all the other activities and not having the sex, well, then maybe you should examine why not.

Dating relationships include sexual activity (not to be limited to simply intercourse) and when one or both members of that couple do not feel like having sex this may lead to the relationship being more of a friendship.  In new relationships especially this connection is important to define the relationship as one of promise for the future.  It lets your partner know that you are interested in them sexually (which for women is extremely important to self esteem).  Similarly, when we are straying from our partner due to stress, family issues, children, job demands and the like, sex is an excellent way to reconnect with our lover.  It is a private time just for the two of you where nothing else matters except that sexual connection.  A sexual connection is like a flower, if you do not water it, give it sunlight and pay attention to it, it will die.  A sexual connection can die as well, if not properly tended to.

What Keeps Your Sex Life Alive?
Let Us Know!


Date 7/27/2015
Very true. Feel like my boyfriend and I are losing that connection :( Doesn't even feel like we are dating any more ...
Date 7/30/2015
sex is so important 2 my hubs n me
Date 8/3/2015
we just needed to make things hotter ... lost interest but then started doing bondage ... lite bdsm rlly helped us ...
Date 9/4/2015
So why is it that women wont to always have to be turned one by the guy first? Why cant I walk in the door from work and have her drop my pants and just go at it? Women always wont to be treated as if you should go get it from them, why not the other way around?

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