Too Timid recently did a poll, asking readers,
“Who do you fantasize about during sex?”
936 readers responded:
My lover-57%, My Ex- 18%, My Co-worker- 15%, A Celebrity- 10%.
His hands were sliding up my thigh, and there was no stopping where they were headed. He began biting at my neck, just below my ear. “Ohhhh, Steven…” I moaned. I clutched at his...
BEEP BEEP…BEEP BEEP…
My alarm. Damn. I remember the first time I fantasized about him. I woke up not because my alarm had gone off, but because I was going off! I woke up mid-orgasm—literally! I was having what had to be the most realistic dream ever about Steven Tyler (don’t laugh, that man is dead sexy!) So real, that when I woke I was positive if I rolled to my left side he would be lying next to me. Unfortunately he wasn’t, but what was real was the damp spot in my panties and the throbbing I felt in my clit. I didn’t think it was possible, but then I remembered back to when a friend told me she had once woken to an orgasm. Some things don’t need explaining; they just need to happen!
The imagination is a wondrous thing. It can transport us to where ever we want to be and with whomever we’d like to be with. Ever sit down on a park bench and close your eyes on a warm spring day? It doesn’t take long to transfer yourself to the beach in the Caribbean. Or how about that size 6 dress. How many times do you imagine yourself shimmying into it, looking unbelievable? You can envision these things because you can fantasize and there’s no reason why you can’t bring that skill into the bedroom.
Fantasizing is simply dipping into the unexplored, the desired, and the memories of people, places and things we come across. Maybe its things we want but know we can not have or people we see but do not know. Fantasizing is allowing our minds to wander—freely.
Bringing fantasy into a sexual relationship is similar to introducing toys, movies and situations—it takes time to get used to. I suppose that there is also a stigma that goes along with fantasizing; that one is being unfaithful to or even disinterested in their current lover if they are imagining different situations. This is the beauty of imagination; it’s just that—imaginary! Fantasizing doesn’t necessarily have to be about another person. Sometimes I enjoy envisioning that my lover and I are being spied upon while we have sex. I find that extremely stimulating!
Set any guilt aside and allow yourself to imagine what you will; no one is going to stop you. You may even find that conveying your thoughts to your lover is a turn on for them!
Post your thoughts on the message board. I'd love reading and responding to your comments!
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