"Mikayla, my fiance works a full-time job and she is always tired. Over the last 6 months we are having sex less and less because she is so tired. I know she wants to, she just doesn't have the energy. How do I seduce her or set the mood for sex?"
Dear Seducing Sleeping Beauty:
Ah life! What are we to do? We work, we work some more and soon we have little to no energy for ourselves or our sex lives! I get it. Let me ask you: do you live together and if so, do you help with housework and chores? Many times women are the unofficial “everything” people. We work, we take of children, we cook, we clean, we do laundry and then, at the end of our day, we are expected to be the seductress too! I am not saying that men do not have their own stresses, or that this is every couple’s dynamic, but it is most definitely a common theme. I think that in a healthy relationship, both partners should take responsibility for taking care of things at the home, and if one person is getting overwhelmed, we should pick up the slack! So, my first suggestion is, if there is any way you can assist her around your home – DO IT! She will appreciate it greatly.
Next, you indicate that she is always tired, but does have interest. So, what you need to do is set a very relaxing and sexy mood. If possible, book a night at a hotel – away from EVERYTHING! Go to a nice dinner, relax in the pool or hottub! Give her a retreat to rejuvenate her mind, body and spirit! Plus, hotel sex is always HOT! If you can not get away, then do it at home! I would suggest taking care of dinner (either cooking or ordering out), preparing a bath for her, offering her a massage (and yes, I mean a REAL massage for at least 30 minutes before your hands wander), or a movie while you rub her feet. Let her know you realize she is tired, and try to pamper her a bit. Do this on a night where she does not have to work the next day. Allow her to relax and come down from her week. Let her know you are there for her if she needs help and that you understand her tiredness. Seduce her not just with the idea of sex, but with the idea that you are her true partner in the relationship. As you are engaged to be married, this will make her feel loved and secure and happy that she has chosen so well.
So, draw her a bath with some nice bath products. Give her a massage. Tell her you love her and appreciate her. Tell her how much she turns you on and how you miss intimacy, but understand that she is tired. Explain to her in a loving way that you want to make love with her, but never want to push her. She will feel loved and nurtured and I would bet that she will feel sexy and pampered and that will make her feel like making love! Women are complex beings, our sex drives are tied in with many emotions, and sometimes all we really need to get tremendously horny is to know that our partner really needs and desires us and is there to support us! So, do that! Seduce her mind and the body will follow! Good luck to you and good luck in your marriage!
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Strawberries and Champagne Gift Tin - Everything you need to have a romantic and sexy night anywhere!
Flickering Massage Candle - create ambiance that makes way to a sensual experience. Burn this soy wax candle for romantic lighting, and then pour the soft, warm, scented oil right on for a sensual massage.