Kinky Sex Tips For Beginners

Let me preface this article by stating: I make NO judgments on what anyone else finds enjoyable in their own bedroom as long as it is legal and between two consenting adults. Sexually speaking, “kink” or “kinky” refers to sexual activities or desires which are outside of the “normal” or “standard” realm. So, in a way, something UNEXPECTED or not “supposed” to be happening. Kinky is a relative term, because not everyone has the same ideas when it comes to what is or isn’t kinky. For some couples, kinky may be having sex on an unscheduled evening while the kids are at home! Just kidding. Yet, not. Kinky is a subjective term but in order to be considered “kinky” it has to at least have a mild addition of something out of the standard sex. So, if you have decided to kink-up your sexy time, how do you go about it? Here are some kinky tips for beginners.

KINKY CONVERSATION

Since everyone is different and has a different view on what is considered “out of the normal” when it comes to sex, the first thing you really must do is have a conversation with your partner in which you tell them that you want to try something kinky, and find out what their thoughts are. Find out exactly how kinky they want to be, what they THINK is being kinky, what YOU think is being kinky. Then, you can sort of merge ideas and activities to begin getting kinky with it!

BE OPEN

What one person considers kinky may not be very kinky to someone else. So, sometimes when we start to think about kinking up our love life our partner may shock us with what he or she wants to try. Ideally, you would be on the same kinky spectrum, but that is not likely. So, when you start to have the kinky conversation make sure that you are open to ideas and are not judgmental. Just because you discuss something does not mean you are obligated to do it. Also, we all have different fetishes, and they may not be something that would give us pleasure after we actually try it, so keep that in mind.

TRY THE KINKY BOX

Sometimes it is hard to admit what we find arousing because we are afraid that our partner will judge us. If this is the case with you, you can try a kinky box. This is when you both put kinky suggestions on slips of paper in a box, and then you pull them out and either (a) discuss them or (b) try them one kinky fantasy at a time. This cannot only be very informative, but it also can be an erotic experience that can spark some exciting action even if you do not go all out kinky.

START SLOWLY

For some couples, kinky means bondage-type experiences. Bondage is one of those activities that takes some adjustment for a couple to find a groove in. Especially if both partners are newbies. Jumping right in to full on bondage can be risky and, quite frankly, scary. It is very important to begin any new, and especially kinky, experiences slowly. Trust needs to be built, activities need to be gauged for mutual enjoyment levels, and both partners need to want to continue with the activities. So, if you are going to begin with bondage, start with something like soft restraints, maybe a blindfold, or some light spanking. Don’t rush in with a full-on restraint system, nipple clamps or a full latex bondage suit. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

TRY VIRTUAL KINK

We live in this new world where we can have so many experiences virtually with little to no risk. So, if you are questioning if you would really like a kinky situation you have some options to try it out. You can

• Google it:

Think you may be into golden showers (when your partner pees on you or when you pee on your partner) but are not sure. Well, google it. You can sometimes find pictures, videos and, of course, detailed information on it.

• Watch Kinky porn:

Maybe you are not sure what will excite you, or you think you would be excited by something but you are not completely sure. There are many free porn sites that are searchable by topic. So, if you wonder if you would like bondage, watch some bondage porn.

• Virtual Kink Performers:

Yes, there is such a thing. Much like webcam girls, virtual kink performers will do anything from discuss kinky experiences (like a therapist) to perform them on camera. So, if your partner wants to know what is involved in a specific kink, you can consult one of these semi-professionals.

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