Ugh. Nothing is quite as disappointing as bad sex! You have all this anticipation looking forward to this romance-novel type experience where the orgasms flow like rivers and soft music plays in the background while you and your lover roll around pleasing each other only to have the reality fall very, very short! This could be simply bad “first time sex” or it could be something more regular. Whichever it is, bad sex sucks! So, how do you go from BAD sex to better and even GREAT sex? Here are 5 quick tips!
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1. SPEAK UP!
If you are having bad sex and know WHY it is bad – then SPEAK UP! If your lover doesn’t seem to know where your clitoris is, or is using too much teeth while she gives you a blowjob then you need to SPEAK UP! Being quiet and just hoping that things will improve is absolutely the worst way to go about making sex better. You have to have honest and open communication with your partner so that he / she knows what you like. Being able to tell your lover how to please you and ASKING how YOU can please THEM is a great way to start having amazing sex!
2. BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and totally to blame when we it comes to the bad sex we are having. Women, especially, can be shy and inhibited when it comes to taking pleasure into their own, um, hands – literally. Yes, I mean that they refuse to give themselves some clitoral help and end up having sex that could be much more orgasmic! While men do not often need manual assistance during sex they may be able to help during oral sex. The point is: if you need to have a different type of stimulation – then be an active participant and lend yourself a hand!
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3. TRY DIFFERENT POSITIONS
There are literally hundreds of sexual positions with variations on all of them. You may like the doggy style or missionary – but maybe those positions are not providing enough bang for your buck! Picking the right position can increase penetration depth, make the vaginal canal tighter, provide more clitoral stimulation, be more erotic visually, or just plain out feel BETTER! Who doesn’t want that? Why stay in the same-ole position when you can move yourself around and experience some variety! You never know when sex will go from ho-hum missionary to OH-MY-GOD reverse cowgirl!
4. ADD MORE ORAL
Yes, I said it. ADD MORE ORAL. For both of you. Oral sex is intimate, direct, extremely stimulating for both of you. You should both be spending a fair amount of time going down south on your partner and enjoying the same in return. That is all. Add more oral = adding more orgasms = getting closer intimately = better sex. Period.
5. GET TO THE REAL REASON
If sex USED to be super-hot for you (or, if it was super-hot with other partners) and now it is just meh, then perhaps you need to do some soul searching about how you really feel about your partner. Sometimes we fall out of love or lust with our partner and this can make sex feel less intimate and even quite icky! If you are not burning the same lustful fire for your partner, if you are mad at him / her for something outside of the bedroom, or if you have just had a change in how you feel about him or her, then it may be time to look at those inner reasons and decide if it is a new relationship you want as opposed to just a new sex position. When we feel disconnected from our partner sex does not often stay hot.
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