Posted by TooTimid Staff to Single & Dating
Groggily she leans over and nudges the man next to her, “Doug, what time is it?” He rolls over and looks at the alarm clock. “It’s 8:30.” He rolls back to face her, “and my name’s Tom.”
Painful isn’t it? Scrunched your face up and thought, “That sucks!” Yeah it does suck, and it did for a friend of mine. But not at the time it happened— then it was a riot. My girlfriends and I giggled and hooted, “Better you than us!” We were all in our very early twenties. We were young, frisky, and uncommitted to any one person. One night stands were not taboo they were learning experiences, pleasurable encounters, and ways for us to experiment with our sexuality. It wasn’t until we were older and our lives had moved into a new stage—our acquaintances had grown from college friends and high school pals to work colleagues and adult associates—that we began to rethink and second guess our youthful romps. Either these new women (and it was always women) in our lives had never had a one night stand or they did and were never going to admit it. That’s when I realized that women are afraid of being labeled easy. And according to the “World’s” definition, if you’re a woman and you have a one night stand than label you it will.
But there are exceptions. And those exceptions are men. (Please don’t even try to tell me otherwise. Not ONCE in my entire life have I ever heard a man negatively referred to as a slut. Man whore? Sure, but even then there is a nudge-nudge, wink-wink that accompanies it. Two words: Wilt Chamberlain).
MEN are allowed to have one night stands. It’s a right of passage—the more notches in your bedpost the more of a man that you are. Well I hate to break it to you guys but you were having those one night stands with us women! We were right there with ya, funny thing is we aren’t allowed to put notches in our bedpost. Our right of passage is to stay as pure and virtuous as possible and wait for our wedding night! So while you men do your “stride of pride” we women are doomed to the “walk of shame”.
It’s ironic that I sit and write this article now; I’ve been married for less than a month. Part of me wants to don my prim and proper hat and dispense warnings about one night stands: the second thoughts, the low self-esteem, and the feeling of being uncomfortable afterwards. But I can’t. Sure, I’m in a committed relationship now, but that’s now; that’s after years of looking for the right person—and then finding him! I was single for a long time before this and I was lonely and uncommitted and not ready to settle down with one person. I did have one night stands and I don’t regret them either. I had fun, it was thrilling, I was safe and I had second thoughts afterward—but I made the conscious choice. So call me a slut, a skank, a whore, but no worries because it’s on you. YOU’RE the one that is uncomfortable with my decision. YOU’RE the one that thinks I’m promiscuous. Not me; I’m ok with the decisions I have made.
So go out and make your own decisions. Have fun and please be safe.