Posted by TooTimid Staff to Spice It Up!
My friend Roxy, a 30 year old executive producer emailed me recently to tell me of a date gone bad. The gentleman she was seeing was a nice, conservative, and interesting fellow. But once they got in the bedroom she was introduced to Mr. Bad Dirty Talker. "I don't care to hear how 'wet' I am, or 'hard' his 'cock' is and repeatedly asked how I like the combination of this 'wetness' and his 'hard cock'," she wrote. "He obviously had no read on me and I thought my limited response to his statement and/or questions would clue him in. It didn't. For me, good sex is when you click and get it without having to say much more than 'right there', 'deeper', 'softer', harder', 'yes,yes,yes!' All I could think of as this guy was throwing me around was, 'How many porno movies have you seen and which of those is on your mind right now?' He was basically having sex with himself and the fantasies in his mind and not reading my wants and needs. I thought the communication in sex was supposed to keep both parties happy. In the end I had to kick him out of my bed. I wasn't feelin' it."
It was Roxy's encounter with bad dirty talk that got me thinking, "Do women like dirty talk?" I decided to ask around.
Logan, 29, CFO for a small business
"Dirty talking can be arousing and erotic when it is done in moderation and with tact. If someone is asking whether I 'like his big cock deep inside me' and he's smaller than my pinky, it's hard not to laugh...Saying things over and over is a big turn off too. Say it once, maybe twice in another minute, but don't keep repeating, 'Do you like it when I fuck you like that?' when it's probably apparent one way or another."
Catherine, 27, non-profit
"I don't really enjoy it. I'm really bad at it and haven't had that many experiences with it."
Kristine, 30, sales
"I like dirty talk, but it must never be brought up outside of the bedroom."
Ruth, 26, student
"Talking dirty...well, there is nothing that turns me on more in the heat of the moment. Ok, maybe not nothing, but talking dirty ranks pretty high. I'm talking about good old fashioned exclamations about what feels good- 'Oh yeah, right there' or words of encouragement, 'Fuck me harder! Yeah like that...' or the forever popular warning, 'Fuck, I am going to come if you keep doing that!' That's the kind of talk that makes screwing around all the better. Without the 'talk' it feels like you are trying to hide from your relatives in the next room."
Madeline, 26, public relations
"Dirty talk is a turn on. When 'Nick" even remotely starts with the talking dirty I find it hard to control myself. When I am going down on him, he talks the most, and being of the select few who actually like giving head, I could go for hours on the encouraging dirtiness that comes out of his mouth...Give me dirty talk and I am putty in your hands. Wasn't it Margaret Mead that said, 'And baby...talk dirty to me?' Oh no, wait, that was Poison."
I tried being a dirty talker once, but my man at the time called me on it. "You don't do that!" he replied to my lusty rantings. "I know," I said, sheepishly. We couldn't help but laugh because it was obvious I was trying to do something I wasn't really comfortable with. If screeching, "I like your rock hard cock" isn't really your thing than don't do it. Or if your man makes you feel more cheap than sexy by repeating how "wet" you are, than you better let him know that.
Because the bottom line is sex is supposed to be fun.