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How To Have Hot Phone Sex

Posted by TooTimid Staff to General / Misc Info
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Let me ask my faithful readers, how many of you are in long distance relationships OR have partners who go out of town for business on a regular basis?  I am willing to bet that there are many of you – including myself.  With the war raging on, so many men and women are pulled away from their families and loved ones to serve.  Phone sex may be the only thing that these soldiers can look forward to – and I am a firm believer that they- of all people – NEED something too look forward to.  I am one of those “my hubby is away AGAIN” women – who refuses to let the miles between me and my man deter our active sex life!  Yes, there is something to be said for that adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” – but I prefer to say, “phone sex makes the relationship or marriage HOTTER!”

For many people, phone sex does not come easily.  It can feel embarrassing – saying those deep, dark secret fantasies to someone who is not with you physically.  Perhaps some feel it is dirty and only “phone sex operators” would do such a thing.  Even more probably like the idea and would try it – but they have NO idea how to begin or what to say.  Well, look no further because I am going to share with you my tried and true phone sex techniques that will have both of you panting like a horny dog on both ends of the line!


NO PLAN IS A GOOD PLAN

One of the most essential things to remember when having phone sex is NOT to script out what you will say.  Phone sex is about EMOTION – the feelings you have while you are away from your honey.  If you attempt to script out what you are going to say it will come off like a rehearsed eulogy – and that would not turn on your partner or you.  Try to be spontaneous, don’t necessarily plan on having phone sex – just let it happen.  Phonesex babeWhen you find yourself talking to your lover on the phone and he (or she) says something like, “I really miss you babe!” you can reply in kind, “I miss you too” – OR you could step it up and say, “I miss kissing and feeling you on top of me.”  Your lover will think, “Wow, where did that come from” – and you will think, “Did I just say that out loud?”  Phone sex is about raw emotion, the real thoughts you have about your lover.  Sure, you miss him/her, and you can’t wait to see him – but what about your sensual and sexual needs?  What do you miss in that category?  That is where phone sex comes in.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING
OK, so I just said that “no plan is a good plan” but here I am talking about timing – you must be confused.  Well, while I think that you should not plan what you are going to say, or even if you are going to have phone sex – there are still some times when phone sex is not a good idea.  For example, if you have small children (or children in general) and they are hovering around, this is obviously NOT a good time to be having phone sex.  Kids hear everything – even when they are not listening – so be mindful of that.  You might be horny, but your kids do not need to hear it.  Secondly, if you find yourself on the phone with your lover and he/she is relaying that it was a horrible day, he/she has a headache, or has not eaten dinner yet, and they seem kind of “blah” – this is also probably not the best time.  You both should feel a connection – and if one of you is having a really, bad day – this is not the time.  Wait until dinner has been eaten and there has been time to de-stress and relax.  It will be much better received at this point.  Finally, be cognizant of where your honey is at the time you decide to spout off something dirty or nasty.

True story:  my hubby was at a convention and I called him at 10:00 pm (not taking into consideration that it was 2 hours earlier there) and I ASSUMED that he would be in his room, getting ready for bed.  He was actually sitting at a table with all his bosses and co-workers about to order dinner.  Anyway, he has a Blackberry – which is not the most discreet phone to use – pretty much everyone hears everything that the person on the other end says.  I say to him, “Hey honey” and he replies, “hi sweetie” back to me.  Then I say, “I would LOVE to be sitting on the floor in front of you sucking on your big, hard cock!”  I hear, instead of my hubby reciprocating his feelings, “WOW, I would love to meet your wife!”  UGGGHHH!  I knew at that point that I was going to be the topic of discussion for dinner.  I quickly said, “Call me later” and hung up – TOTALLY embarrassed!  What I found out later – when my hubby called me back from a secure location – was that while it was a bit embarrassing – all the guys at the table were envious – and that made me smile!  Just a lesson on proper “timing.”

How To Keep Things Hot While You Are Away


STEAMY SENTIMENTS

OK, so now we have established the right time and that we are NOT going to read a script from our notes.  So, what DO you say and how DO you say it?  Well, while I will say that your own personal style and imagination factor in here immensely, I will tell you at the same time that there is a good way to have phone sex, and a bad way.  Here are examples of each:

BAD PHONE SEX:

“Hi Honey, are you horny”
“Huh? What did you say?”
“I said, are you horny?”
“Uh, I guess so, are you?”
“Yes.”
“OK, we are both horny, now what?”
“I don’t know, what would you like to do to me?”

Why is this bad?  Well, the first thing out of your mouth should NOT be “are you horny?”  What is your lover supposed to say?  He or she is away from you, and admitting that they are horny?  Awkward.  Then, after there is admittance to being horny (which is probably not true) then the initiator drops the conversation on the other person, expecting him or her to pick up the slack.  It doesn’t work this way.  When you initiate phone sex you have to be ready, willing and able to continue the conversation.

GOOD PHONE SEX:

“Hi Honey, how was your day?”
“It was OK, how was yours?”
“Long, I really miss you when you are not here.”
“Yeah, I miss you too honey.  I am sorry I have to be away.”
“Don’t be sorry, it makes me miss you all the more – and in more ways than one!”
“Really?  In what ways do you miss me?”
“I miss kissing you when you get home.  I miss smelling your cologne on my body all day.  I miss the prickly hairs on your chin as you rub against the back of my neck.  I miss you coming in the my nightly shower.  I miss a lot of things.”
“WOW.  I miss kissing and touching you too – and the shower thing!”
“Do you realize if you were here right now that we would probably be IN the shower together, getting all soaped up, rubbing against each other, feeling you get hard behind me as you soap up my breasts?”
“Oh, now I really miss you!”
“Well, just because we are apart, doesn’t mean we don’t have memories.  I remember how your hands feel as they brush over my nipples, making their way down to my freshly, shaven self that aches for your touch.  I can feel your fingers and hands caressing me, teasing me, making me want you.”

The reason that this is good phone sex is because the initiator did not begin with the sexy stuff, but instead asked about his day, then just stated that she missed him.  Then, simply stating her true feelings about what she misses when he is away is enough to get the erotic thoughts going.  While it might be a slow start, you can easily see how this conversation was going to get hot and heavy really soon – hopefully with some reciprocation from her lover.


THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

In the previous example, the language is sensual, but not overly sexual – yet.  What makes good phone sex is the mix of sentimental images amongst the more sexual connotations –i.e. the teasing hands in the shower.  While these basic thoughts are sexy and erotic, true phone sex takes it up a notch – or two – and gets down and dirty.  How dirty is really up to you.  Some suggestions that I have for couples who are new to phone sex are: 1.  Don’t rush it! Start of slow, ease into the more sexual discussions.  Don’t try to go from an erotic thought to I want to “bang your brains out!”  This is a forced image and doesn’t work well with the way the mind works.  This is literally a “mind-f*&ck” and as such, both people have to be in the zone with one another.

2.  Take turns!  While it might be more comfortable for one person to lay back and listen – true phone sex should have an exchange of ideas and thoughts.  A back and forth banter of erotic images, thoughts and feelings.  Once the conversation heads toward phone sex- let the other person talk!  Try to engage their sensual side as well.

3.  Listen, phone sex is a mental image – and while this image can be achieved with “chaste” words and “proper” terms – I guarantee that the session will be more successful if you use “bedroom talk” instead of medical terminology.  While this may be very, very hard for some people (especially women) it will work out better.  Getting a little dirty in your talk can bring this experience to the new level.  So, call it what you do in your deepest, most unreserved mind – breasts become tits, a penis becomes a cock – you get my drift!

4.  While masturbation is not a requirement of phone sex – why not do it?  If you are truly aroused, and thinking about the things you are discussing on the phone – then why not take it to the next level and touch yourself while you are describing touching yourself?  First of all, it feels good.  Secondly, your lover is going to ask you if you are touching yourself – why lie?  Thirdly, if you are masturbating this adds not only to the way you feel, but how you are going to respond!  Statistically, women talk much dirtier when they are aroused – so get AROUSED!  This will only benefit both of you – and give you the release you need!

5.  Remember that you are NOT the only one in the conversation.  If you are in mid talk and orgasm – don’t stop!  Your partner may be far away from that moment.  If both of you have climaxed, don’t stop!  Try to think of this as a real sexual experience.  Be warm, sentimental and nurturing of each other.  Phone sex is much more than just getting off!


TRY IT, YOU MAY LIKE IT

While these are just a few suggestions to help those who are interested in having phone sex, the sentiments expressed here can be used in our daily lives when are lovers are near.  Remember to tell your lover what you love about them.  What has made you tingle with anticipation from your last sexual encounter?  Let them know what you miss when they are away at work for the day – not necessarily on a trip.  Remind each other of what you find sexy about them – and what you would like to do to them tonight!  Being like this with your partner steps up the relationship in general – and makes it more loving, caring and erotic!  You can even take these suggestions to their PRIVATE (not work) emails, or leave them erotic messages in their briefcases or purses.  These suggestions are good for all couples – not just long distance ones.  How you decide to do it is truly up to you – but always remember to be true to your feelings, never be embarrassed about what sexual feelings you are having, and be in a connected relationship with your lover at all times!  This makes any relationship better – long distance or not!  Everyone can learn how to have phone sex, email sex, cybersex or “sexy note” sex – and everyone SHOULD!

Do You Have Phone Sex?
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Comments

Date 6/8/2008
C.J.
wanna try but it just seems so awkward :(
Date 6/25/2008
SOOOO HOTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Date 9/20/2012
lacie
sumtimes we rp a lil lol
Date 1/9/2015
durtygurl23
i love touching myself while on the phone talking to him!!

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