The following evening, while her knight was down between her legs, she began writhing in pleasure, screaming “Oh Yeah Prince Baby, give it to me!” and came over and over and over as he used his talented tongue to bring her to orgasm. Finally, on the third night, her prince was ready to finalize the courting ritual and give her his manly sword. As he climbed atop her, staring lovingly into her eyes, pulling out his sword and preparing to sever the royal hymen, his princess took his head in her hands and said, “Dearest Prince, how I love you so. I want nothing more than to please you. However, I have to tell you, I don’t ever orgasm with sex, so can you just go back down on me tonight?” The prince was downtrodden, confused, hurt. He wanted to please his princess but he wanted to get some pleasure for himself too. He wanted to complete their courtship and bring their bodies together in a state of union. His princess, however, had other plans. Having had sex previously with the stable master, she was unimpressed by the thrusting of the sword, and not getting any pleasure from it, she preferred the more direct route of tongue and finger stimulation. In short, the princess liked oral pleasure, not penile pleasure. The prince left the kingdom and the princess resorted to the royal.
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As the prince searched far and away for his next perfect princess, he was having another sort of problem. He encountered horny princess after horny princess – all ready, willing and able to accept his sword. What these princesses were not willing to do, was reciprocate his oral loving. One princess said “Absolutely NOT! Do you expect ME to put THAT into my mouth?” The prince felt dirty and ashamed. He still gave her his royal sword, as she lay beneath him quiet as a mouse. Another princess was more than willing to try and please her prince. She looked at his sword in astonishment and eagerly placed it in her mouth…..then BIT with her teeth! The prince was horrified, how could THIS be pleasure? After kicking her out of his bedchamber, another fair maiden came to his knock on his door. She was also ready to put his sword in his mouth. She began by licking it like a hot poker – barely touching her tongue to it. Licking, licking, licking but never putting it INTO her mouth. She was sent swiftly away. Maiden after maiden came to try and pleasure the prince, but none could achieve it. His sword was tiring of the biting, the rough sucking, the nail scraping and the disgusted look as woman after woman attempted to give him what he truly desired. For the prince, this type of pleasure seemed out of reach, would he ever find his perfect princess?.....
So here we see another problem – BAD oral sex! Men are not the only poor creatures to fall prey to this kind of disappointment, women also experience BAD oral sex as well. What happens when this is the case? Well, oral sex becomes a back burner event. There is a saying that men would prefer a bad blowjob to no blowjob but this is just NOT true. There is nothing worse than a bad blowjob! Well, except bad cunnilingus! Bad oral sex is something that can cause a rift in your belief that oral sex is good. In fact, I once had a lover who was SO bad at oral sex that I broke up with him and he was perfect in any other manner. Like the prince in the fairy tale, I had no time for bad oral!
...back in the land far, far away the princess was distraught. She had been with all the servants and even a few of her handmaidens, but none of them could give her the butterfly twists that her prince could when he was down beneath her legs. She was wondering if she had hurt him and by sending him away she was destined to be unhappy and orgasmless for the rest of her ever after. She sent a royal request to see her prince and contemplated what had gone so wrong in there relationship. When he arrived two weeks later, he too was ready to give her another shot. They talked over dinner and the princess admitted her preference for oral, and the prince understood why. Then the prince detailed his bad oral experiences and told her he just want to have a woman who would give him pleasure in return. The decided to give it one more try.
That night, the prince went down beneath his princess’ legs and started to please her, but before she could rocket to the moon, he turned himself around presenting his sword to her face. As excited and near orgasm as she was, she hungrily took his sword in her mouth and began to swallow it. The prince was ecstatic! He was getting his oral loving and giving his princess the royal treatment too.
After the princess had orgasmed over and over, the prince withdrew his sword and convinced her to let him place his sword in her sheath. Being satisfied, but not wanting to discourage her prince, she allowed him to mount her. As the prince moved his sword in and out of the princess, he saw the look of boredom come across her face. He thought to himself, “she likes it when I brush my tongue up against her inner lips, I will do that with my fingers! He tried it and again saw the heat of passion in his princess’ eyes! She began to move and sway her hips and moan and writhe with pleasure. Soon, the prince felt a great compression on his sword and an increase in fluid! He had made his princess cum with his sword and fingers! Soon, he spit within her and they both folded into a tired and satisfied heap on the bed. Having learned the secret to love, the princess agreed to marry the prince, and they lived happily (and hornily) ever after!
So, what is the moral of this little story? Basically, pleasure can come in many forms – oral, vaginal, anal, digital – but if you don’t try it or tell your lover you like it – you ain’t gonna get it! It is true that some men and women will simply prefer one type of sex over another – and that is just fine. I love oral sex – LOVE it – giving and receiving, I also LOVE vaginal sex! There is no difference for me in the outcome – I will orgasm either way, so I indulge in both. If you are finding yourself preferring one over the other – ask yourself why? For women, is it the “O” factor? Have you been with lovers who just don’t know what the heck they are doing down there and couldn’t find your clitoris with a map? If you don’t like oral, is it the personal connection? Are you embarrassed about your nether area? Do you think you will get out of control if you orgasm through oral sex? For the men, do you shy away from oral because you have had some bad – or painful – experiences? Do you prefer sex for the feeling of it? Perhaps you like oral sex better – is the sensation more intense? Is there a taboo nature about oral that turns you on? My personal belief is that no relationship is complete without both oral and vaginal sex (unless you are gay or lesbian, in which case, you have worked it all out!) I know there are many couples who are happy without the oral – but I ask you this, why? You can teach your lover to please you orally, anally or vaginally. There are so many things that we do not know about the opposite sex and our partners in particular. Discussing our likes and dislikes can open a whole new realm of sex that we didn’t even realize was out there.
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So, the next time you are with a partner who refuses to go down on you – ask him or her why? Try to find a method of mutual pleasure that satisfies both of you. Explore new options if you have failed to take the “plunge” in one direction or another. If you prefer oral sex – by all means engage in it! Have lots of it! However, I beg of you to try and find equal pleasure through vaginal sex as well. Unless you and your partner are both into oral only relationships, one of you is going to feel neglected!
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