It may seem sort of obvious to some of you on how to self-pleasure, and this is most likely because you have been doing it so long (like me, 30+ years now) that it is second nature to you. However, what if you are new to the idea? Or, what if you have only tried one of the many ways to masturbate? Sometimes it is good to get back to the basics on things – even masturbation! So whether you are new to masturbation, have tried and have been “unsuccessful,” or you just are looking for new ways to try – read on and see what may strike your fancy!
Masturbation: [mas-ter-bey-shun; noun] The basic definition of masturbation is to self-stimulate yourself in a manner that causes pleasure, and often, orgasm.
TAKE TIME TO PLEASURE: When we make the decision to masturbate, especially if we are new at it, we should allow ourselves the time to enjoy it! This means to set up an environment that is pleasing and comfortable. Light some candles, take a warm shower or bath, slip on a slinky and silky nightie. Put on music that makes you feel sexy, let yourself relax and enjoy the sensation of your fingers or toys. In essence: seduce yourself! Creating a mood that is conducive to relaxation and pleasure is important!!!
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY: Every woman’s body is different and what she finds pleasurable is also different. So, it is important to spend some time exploring your body, feeling what excites you. For example: some woman love nipple stimulation. They can almost orgasm just from nipple play! For others, it has no affect. Try and find out what makes you feel good. What touches send those electric shocks through your body? Do you prefer all external stimulation or also internal stimulation? Take time to explore yourself and find out what you like.
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CLITORAL TOUCHING: (FYI, the clitoris is a little “bump” of nerves that is located above your vaginal opening, usually hidden under a bit of skin called the clitoral hood). Traditionally, clitoral rubbing is the masturbation technique of most women because 85% or more of all women require clitoral stimulation to climax. So, explore your clitoral area and find out what brings you pleasure. Perhaps you like light, gentle, circular rubbing of your clitoris. Or, you may want very fast and harder pressure. No one can tell you what you like except yourself. Spend some time rubbing your clitoris and figuring out what feels the best. You should feel a warmth and a very pleasant sensation when you explore there. If you don’t notice this, try a firmer pressure, faster rubbing, or try using your whole palm instead of a finger or two. The key here is to experiment with what you like and what brings YOU the most pleasure!
INTERNAL / EXTERNAL STIMULATION: For some women, adding in internal stimulation can make all the difference in obtaining an orgasm! Keep in mind if you are a virgin, you may want to refrain from internal stimulation. Not because it will “de-virginize” you, but because it may be uncomfortable. Internal stimulation (when you enter your vagina with your fingers or another object such as a vibrator) can bring a very intense pleasure to your solo time. Dildos and vibrators are wonderful tools to use during this type of masturbation because it is often awkward to try and give yourself both internal and external stimulation with your own hands! When you stimulate your vagina with your fingers or a toy it creates a new type of sexual pleasure that is oftentimes much more intense. To do this make sure you are well lubricated or have used some lubricant. Insert your finger (or the toy) slowly, paying attention to how it feels. Did you hit a spot inside that feels very good? Does it feel pleasurable? If you want you can add in some clitoral stimulation as well to make your experience more fulfilling. The key here is, again, to pay attention to what YOU like. If you like shallow stimulation stick with that. If you like deep penetration, do that. Whatever feels good to you, continue to do that and experiment with other types of stimulation.
ADDING A TOY: Adding in a vibrator or a bullet (a small vibrator often used for clitoral stimulation) is not more advanced than using fingers only. Vibrators offer you a more intense stimulation that can, oftentimes, lead to multiple orgasms. Particularly if you enjoy very rapid clitoral stimulation, a bullet can provide a less tiring option! When you add in a toy to masturbation it is best to go slowly and see what speed works best. For some women, indirect stimulation (placing the bullet not directly ON the clitoris) works best. For others, such as myself, placing a bullet directly on the clitoris can lead to some pretty fast and intense orgasms! Just like with anything mentioned here, experimentation is key. You need to figure out what your body craves and what will provide the most pleasure!
Mikayla’s tip: Every woman’s body is different and not all stimulation is one size fits all! This means no matter what you are trying, to pay attention to YOUR body. Do what turns you on! If you like to stroke your tummy – do it! If you like fast clitoral rubbing – do it! If you prefer to slap your vaginal area – do it! This is about SELF pleasure and that means PLEASE YOURSELF!
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