Whether you are a male or female, the key to this subject is honest conversation! You need to be able to convey to your partner why you want to bring a sexual enhancement product into the bedroom. Why is it going to be fun? What will it do for him or her and for you? Why will this item bring you closer together? All of these subjects need to be openly discussed, so that both partners have an understanding of what the expectations are. Make sure that your partner knows that a toy could never replace human interaction. That the idea of using only a toy to achieve orgasm would be a flat experience when compared with a love making experience. Assure her and him that the toy is for fun, not because the sex is not good enough already just that you want to experiment and see if it can get even MORE intense!
If you are a man and want to bring a toy in for your woman, some of the things you may want to touch on are: more intense orgasms, the pleasure that you get from pleasing her, easier orgasm and the visual stimulation for you. Some women may find it difficult to orgasm through sex alone and this is very common as 85% of all women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. So, if you have a partner who is having issues, suggesting a bullet or small vibrator can help her to achieve fantastic orgasms during sex, without it disrupting your flow. Make sure to tell her that her pleasure is first and foremost your concern, and that the toy is to enhance her pleasure, thereby enhancing your own. Furthermore, the orgasm provided by the combination of internal stimulation through intercourse AND a vibrator on her clit can give her a wonderfully intense orgasm! Who wouldn't want that? Finally, make sure to tell her how erotic and sexy it would be to watch her please herself or for you to pleasure her using a toy. Explain to her that men are visual creatures, and watching a vibrator or phallic toy penetrate her would excite you immensely! The idea of this exciting you and bringing you pleasure is more likely to appeal to her as well as put her at ease as to any jealousy you may be feeling over the toy.
Now, women sometimes confess to having a harder time convincing their partners to play with toys. The male ego can be quite fragile at times (a woman's can too, by the way) and the idea that they are somehow not enough to please their woman can make them balk at any electronic or battery operated devices coming into the sacred space of their bedrooms. While many men are content with the idea that their women use vibrators when the real deal is not around, they fail to see the relevance or pleasure in using a toy together. So women, it is of the UTMOST importance that you explain that the toy does not, could not, could NEVER replace the feeling of a real, warm, throbbing, erect penis that is attached to a person whom you are attracted to and love. This is the first step. Then, explain to them how you would like to have deeper, more intense orgasms WITH them. Explain how great it feels when he teases your clit during sex and how many more orgasms you could achieve with a little more intense stimulation. Or, you could describe how sexy a little masturbation show would be for him. Having you play and pleasure while he watches or helps. These things appeal to men women getting pleasure from them or with them so appeal to his horny side.
So, whether a man or a woman the goal is the same: pleasure. You have taken the first step in thinking about bringing sexual enhancement products into the bedroom, now you just have to have an open discussion about it with your partner. If you have been asked by your partner to try sex toys and are unsure and that is what has brought you here, you are not alone. Think about what your real fears and apprehensions are. Are they grounded in something irrational or unfounded? Do you trust your partner and want to please him/her and be pleasured by him/her? Talk to your partner about your fears, expectations, wants and desires on the subject of toys and all things sexual! A couple that can talk, laugh, express doubts and fears and describe wants, needs and desires while experimenting together in all ways is a very strong couple! So, if you are deciding whether or not to play with sex toys in your bedroom just remember this: sex is supposed to be fun and fun comes in many different forms, what do you have to lose versus what could you possibly gain? Go ahead, have the talk, go online and shop together. It will be a new intimacy that you never expected! Hope to see you soon!