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How to Get Your Partner to Try Sex Toys

Posted by Angela to Spice It Up!
Since my first days at TooTimid nearly 8 years ago I have repeatedly seen the same question over and over: how do I get my partner to use sex toys with me in the bedroom? This question comes equally from both men and women! Some men really just want to help their partner have the most pleasurable experience possible and it is fun for them too. However, their female partners might be shy or insecure about pleasuring or being pleasured with a sex toy or they feel it is somehow cheating on their mate. Similarly, many women want to bring the idea up to their partners but those men may feel that the toy will replace them in the bedroom or that their partner will choose masturbation over real love making. Let me assure you: sex toys are an enhancement, never a replacement, and bringing them into your bedroom can be an extremely erotic and rewarding experience. So, how do you convince your wary partner that sexual enhancement products are fun and for you? Read on and I will tell you!

Whether you are a male or female, the key to this subject is honest conversation! You need to be able to convey to your partner why you want to bring a sexual enhancement product into the bedroom. Why is it going to be fun? What will it do for him or her and for you? Why will this item bring you closer together? All of these subjects need to be openly discussed, so that both partners have an understanding of what the expectations are. Make sure that your partner knows that a toy could never replace human interaction. That the idea of using only a toy to achieve orgasm would be a flat experience when compared with a love making experience. Assure her and him that the toy is for fun, not because the sex is not good enough already just that you want to experiment and see if it can get even MORE intense!

If you are a man and want to bring a toy in for your woman, some of the things you may want to touch on are: more intense orgasms, the pleasure that you get from pleasing her, easier orgasm and the visual stimulation for you. Some women may find it difficult to orgasm through sex alone and this is very common as 85% of all women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. So, if you have a partner who is having issues, suggesting a bullet or small vibrator can help her to achieve fantastic orgasms during sex, without it disrupting your flow. Make sure to tell her that her pleasure is first and foremost your concern, and that the toy is to enhance her pleasure, thereby enhancing your own. Furthermore, the orgasm provided by the combination of internal stimulation through intercourse AND a vibrator on her clit can give her a wonderfully intense orgasm! Who wouldn't want that? Finally, make sure to tell her how erotic and sexy it would be to watch her please herself or for you to pleasure her using a toy. Explain to her that men are visual creatures, and watching a vibrator or phallic toy penetrate her would excite you immensely! The idea of this exciting you and bringing you pleasure is more likely to appeal to her as well as put her at ease as to any jealousy you may be feeling over the toy.

Now, women sometimes confess to having a harder time convincing their partners to play with toys. The male ego can be quite fragile at times (a woman's can too, by the way) and the idea that they are somehow not enough to please their woman can make them balk at any electronic or battery operated devices coming into the sacred space of their bedrooms. While many men are content with the idea that their women use vibrators when the real deal is not around, they fail to see the relevance or pleasure in using a toy together. So women, it is of the UTMOST importance that you explain that the toy does not, could not, could NEVER replace the feeling of a real, warm, throbbing, erect penis that is attached to a person whom you are attracted to and love. This is the first step. Then, explain to them how you would like to have deeper, more intense orgasms WITH them. Explain how great it feels when he teases your clit during sex and how many more orgasms you could achieve with a little more intense stimulation. Or, you could describe how sexy a little masturbation show would be for him. Having you play and pleasure while he watches or helps. These things appeal to men women getting pleasure from them or with them so appeal to his horny side.

So, whether a man or a woman the goal is the same: pleasure. You have taken the first step in thinking about bringing sexual enhancement products into the bedroom, now you just have to have an open discussion about it with your partner. If you have been asked by your partner to try sex toys and are unsure and that is what has brought you here, you are not alone. Think about what your real fears and apprehensions are. Are they grounded in something irrational or unfounded? Do you trust your partner and want to please him/her and be pleasured by him/her? Talk to your partner about your fears, expectations, wants and desires on the subject of toys and all things sexual! A couple that can talk, laugh, express doubts and fears and describe wants, needs and desires while experimenting together in all ways is a very strong couple! So, if you are deciding whether or not to play with sex toys in your bedroom just remember this: sex is supposed to be fun and fun comes in many different forms, what do you have to lose versus what could you possibly gain? Go ahead, have the talk, go online and shop together. It will be a new intimacy that you never expected! Hope to see you soon!

Vibrating Silver Bullet

This is the perfect, small, non-obtrusive clitoral stimulator that can be used during sex without disrupting flow- or alone. Great choice for a first toy.

Her Time Desire Vibe

This small vibe is great for use with a partner during sex or just for added stimulation. Small, pretty and not intimidating- perfect for a beginner!

Le Reve Silicone Petite

This smaller vibe has a very elegant look and is phallic but not overly so. This is perfect for the woman who wants to explore internal stimulation while not being too replica like as to intimidate her partner.

The Little Bull

If your goal is to play with a nice, phallic dildo while giving your partner the visual stimulation he craves, this is a great choice.

Venus Butterfly

The vibrations of this unique toy stimulate the most sensitive part of the female anatomy with its soft and supple design. It is perfect for dual stimulation during intercourse, and best of all it requires no extra work for an amazing pay off! Just strap it on and get busy!

Double Trouble Enhancer

This cock ring has pro-longing effects for the male and is kicked up a notch, keeping the female in mind. The vibrations of this ring feel amazing against the clitoris and will surely take the female over the edge. Check out the 5 star rating on this product.

Screaming Propello

This unique design offers her one-of-a-kind clitoral, and backdoor tingling sensations while giving him the erection-strengthening power he needs from the super-stretchy cockring. See what all of the hype is about!

My First Double Penetrator

This product is 3 toys in one! The cock ring delays ejaculation for the male, giving the female more time to enjoy the small clit stimulator as well as the beginner sized anal stimulator.

Frisky Finger

This little toy is discreet, so it is perfect for anyone looking to add a toy to bedroom sessions for the first time! Slip it over your finger and drive your partner wild, and women can slip it on and stimulate their clitoris during intercourse (trust me, he won't mind).

Super Ball Sucker

This product is perfect for men who want to try something new in the bedroom, and it will provide a sensation that you have never felt before! Trust me on this one guys.

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