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Your First Sex Toy

Posted by Mikayla to Women's Issues
View All Beginner Sex Toys

These are very important overlooked things that you need to know and to prepare for when you buy and use your first toy.  This is entirely for us “single gals”.  This is for beginners as I was a beginner not so long ago.  I used to say (in a very self-important voice) “Pashawww, who needs a vibrator or a dildo?  I can get the real thing!”  Your girlfriends laugh and laugh and you don’t get it.  And, you haven’t gotten it in a long time.  Then you realize “Huh, so this is what all the fuss was about”.  Now you are in a club, you become addicted and you can’t wait to try new products and tell your friends.  These instructions are for the gal who may be a little nervous or unsure, just like I was.  I am still not an expert, but I think we all felt this way once.  This is what you need to know when you are using a new toy ALONE for the FIRST time.

PRIVACY:  Have a private place.  A place where you can LOCK the doors and you are alone and you don’t have to worry about your Mom yelling at you to unload the dishwasher or your roommate barging in to borrow Beautiful Womanyour favorite skirt or the fact that you know that your neighbor peeks in your window when mowing his lawn.  Know it, research it, prove it and then prove it again, you have to be relaxed and calm.  You must be sure that you are completely alone and nobody is going to bother you.

BATTERIES:  Have batteries ready!!!  The joy of opening up your first plain brown box is ruined if you can only look at it.  Sometimes they come with batteries, sometimes they don’t.  You have to look when you order.  If you know it is not going to have batteries, get off the couch, count out change in the console and get your ass to the 7-11 and make sure you are home before the mailman.  It is one thing to look at a vibrator on the box but entirely different when you actually hold it and use it and become its friend.  Whether it takes 8 DDD batteries, a separate power generator or an AAA, make sure you know where they are and they should not be in that junk drawer in the kitchen  ...that drawer never has batteries!!!!

How To Use A Vibrator With Your Partner For The First Time

LOTIONS, POTIONS AND OILS:  No, it is not a voodoo recipe or a Snoop-Dog video.  You must have some type of lubrication on hand.  It does not mean that anything is wrong with you; sometimes you just need a little help.  You have to be able to experiment with the toy and a lot of times it feels better with some kind of lubricant.  Just like when getting it on with a partner, moisture is good, it is your friend.  It is the difference between “holy crap, one of us is doing something wrong” or “Holy crap, that feels AWESOME, dump the bottle on me!”  Lotions, potions and oils are good.  My first toy that I bought for myself scared me.  I thought, “What the heck am I supposed to do with that?  Clearly, I am dating the wrong guys!!”  Lubricants are good.

GET COMFY:  The 3-B’s.  In college and after, my friends and I used to joke about what helped us to have a good time with sex.  A great night out included hopefully getting some good sex or any sex at all and usually (always) we needed a little help.  The help was called the “The 3-B’s”.  It could be backrub, booze and Barry (as in White or Manilow) or it could be beer, bong hit and beach or it could be booze, boys and basketball or boy, backrub, bathtub or it could be booze, brett, beach.  This could go on and on, but you get the idea.  You need to surround yourself with things that you like and that make you comfortable.  Light candles, play your favorite music, get relaxed and meet your new toy.

MAKE PLANS:  After you become friends with your new toy and you feel like you have mastered it for the moment, look at yourself in the mirror.  You look hot.  Go out, now!  Meet friends at a bar, get more batteries at the grocery store, or buy a cup of tea where you know that hottie works.  Let people see you.  You have confidence and a glow about you and you are probably smarter.  This is a great time to feel good about yourself.  Then the next time maybe you will feel more confident about using the toy.  Lots of good things can happen.

It takes a little time, patience, batteries and privacy and sometimes a bottle of wine doesn’t hurt.  Your first experience should be as comfortable as it can be.  Just like, years ago, EVERYONE had condoms in the top drawer of the nightstand, now we have lotions, potions and oils.

How Do You Prepare For Solo Playtime?
Let Us Know!


Date 3/10/2016
I usually dont have alot of alone time (mother of 3 little ones) but when i do, i like to have the house to myself and take my time and put on a little music. its rare, but i love my private time!
Date 5/4/2016
sara bright
mmm you definitely need lube for those bigger dildos but it heps with smaller ones to

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