How to Use a Vibrator with Your Partner

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How to Use a Vibrator With Your Partner For the First Time

So, you’re looking to bring a vibrator into the bedroom but you’re not sure exactly how to bring the toy in without them taking it the wrong way. The most important thing to keep in mind is that a vibrator (or any sex toy for that matter) is NOT a replacement. Sex toys are enhance a sexual experience. Nothing can replace the intimacy you may have with your partner.

It can be extremely intimate and erotic to incorporate a vibrator into sex and even if you are hesitant to do so, it will be an amazing experience for both of you. Our experts have put together this complete guide about how to use a vibrator with your partner.

1. Use a Vibrator During Oral Sex

Something that is extremely intimate and visually arousing is to incorporate the vibrator into oral sex. This way, your partner is still a very active participant in the sex act, as their tongue and fingers are still very much a part of the experience. Hold it against a penis and a vulva. You can also penetrate the vibrator on yourself (or have your partner do it) A small vibrating bullet, like the Discreet Pinpoint Bullet shown below, is perfect for vulva stimulation.

Hand shown holding vibrating silver bullet

2. Show Your Partner What Feels Good

It's very common for humans to be visual creatures when it comes to sex. So, the idea of watching our partner pleasure themselves while we watch is incredibly sexy for most people. Take advantage of this by putting on a show for your partner!

Vibrators provide a lovely visual for your partner to enjoy. So, lie back, spread your legs, have your lover sit between them and just treat them to a slow, seductive show as you tease yourself as they watch. It won’t be long until your partner wants to take the reins on the vibrator. 

3. Let Them Take Control of Your Toy

Many people get really turned on knowing that they're helping their partner feel pleasure. Nothing will get the fires burning faster than asking your lover to HELP you play with your vibe.

The combination of the visual effect and the fact that they are in control of the toy that is giving you pleasure is enough to drive anyone wild. If you want something especially good, buy a specially designed vibrator for your G-Spot, like the Rose Vibrator shown below, and let your partner use it on you to provide extra stimulation.

Pink bulbed tip vibrator for gspot stimulation

4. Pretend to be the "Teacher"

Following up with the last idea, sometimes it can be sexy to guide your partner through using your vibrator on you. You can pretend you are teaching them how to pleasure you for the first time ever. If you're feeling confident enough, then this is an incredibly sexy option and you should go for it.

Give them the vibrator, spread your legs, and talk them through every single step. Do your best to be descriptive with this and don't be afraid to throw in a little dirty talk. Not only will this be sexy for both of you, but it is actually important to teach your lover how to please you with the toy. So, why not turn that education into a sexy experience?

5. Double Up During Penetration

Why not try something new? Many vulva-owners have discovered the distinctive joy in applying clitoral stimulation while being penetrated. This hits all of the pleasure spots at once. Add in a little nipple stimulation and you're really going for gold!

So, next time you are having some hot penetrative sex or your partner is fingering you - pull out the vibrator! You can use it on yourself to get that clit stimulation you're craving, while your partner can continue doing the internal work. Internal sounds a little too serious, what I really mean is your partner can focus on pleasuring your g-spot while you pleasure the clit. Not only will this feel incredible for you, but it will also be so sexy for your partner. They get to pleasure you while also getting a show.

6. Show Your Partner How Good it Feels

Sometimes the best way to introduce your buzzing buddy to your lover is to show them how good the vibrations feel on THEM! If your partner has a penis, they can partake in the vibratory pleasures as well. You can run it under their balls, up and down their shaft, and even on their perineum, or taint. Think about how incredible oral sex would be if you added a little ball buzzing into the mix! Many people with a penis rarely, if ever, have used a vibrator on their shaft – so show them how much fun it can be!

If your partner has a clitoris, then simply take the vibrator and massager it on their clitoris, and ask them what feels good so you know the best way to use it on them!

How Do You Use Vibes With Your Partner?
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3 comments


  • Coupleoffools

    My husband and I have been together for 20 years!! I’m 38 & I’ve gotten comfortable with my body by using toys & has helped me feel for comfortable tumbling around in the sheets!!! My husband enjoys using toys with me “O” SO very much!! It keeps things spicy, new & exciting!! He’s not at all interested in other women bc hes plenty satisfied at home!**let him come home from work & find you with your toys, it’ll make his YEAR!! HAHA…
    Ladies, I’m telling you, if you are hesitant or feel shy, just try at least a finger vibe or bullet vibe on yourself 1st and you’ll be SO incredibly HAPPY you did!!! And TRUST ME, your husband(or significant other) will thank you!!! It’s been an amaaaaaazballz addition to our sex life 😁👅🌸🍆💦💦


  • sandyandmike

    Yes we both always use toys and other stimulus and we love it.


  • Luc Comunetti

    Vibrator on clit while going in nout


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