Many couples engage in mutual masturbation – where you are playing with each other simultaneously. However, there is another side to this, masturbating FOR your partner, as in, putting on a little masturbation “show” if you will. Most people view masturbation as a solo act, something you do in private - because who needs to masturbate when you have a partner present, right? Some, however, may like the idea of masturbating for their partner. It is a little naughty and gives them a thrill to be watched during this private moment.
On the other hand, other sexual beings may really enjoy watching someone masturbate because it taps into their voyeuristic side, knowing that this isn’t something that is usually done in front of someone else. This is why masturbating together and for each other can be a really intimate and erotic experience! If you have never done this, read on for some “how-tos” for Masturbating With Your Partner!
6. FEEL SEXY (FOR WOMEN): If you are self conscious at all about masturbating in front of your partner let me tell you this right away: men are visual creatures, he will LOVE to watch you masturbate and he is not expecting a porn star performance! That being said, you will want to make yourself feel as sexy as you can, right? So, put on your favorite nightie, corset, teddy or nothing at all! Create an atmosphere of soft lighting, perhaps some music, make the bed, prop up the pillows, get your favorite toys if you want. Create a moment with your partner. It will help get YOU in the mood!
5. FEEL CONFIDENT (FOR MEN): I know what you guys are thinking: she does not want to watch me wank myself off. You are SO wrong! Women LOVE to watch you stroke yourself. Why? Well, firstly, it lets us know what you LIKE. We can see how you grip yourself, the speed you stroke, where you concentrate. It is educational and sexy. Also, we are fascinated by this. When we masturbate it is a very different experience, and watching a man do this makes our mouths water. Seriously. So, when it is your turn make sure you put on a real show. Do what you like, but take your time. Perhaps talk to us as you do it. Just remember, mentioning someone else’s name while doing this may not bode well for you, so if you are imagining the cute girl at the gym, leave her out of it.
5 Ways To Spice Up Masturbation For Women
4. FINGERS OR TOYS?: I have asked men over the years what they find more sexy: watching a woman masturbate with just her fingers or with toys like a dildo or vibrator. I have gotten mixed reviews, but there is a slight edge to just having fingers. Most men seem to feel that watching you pleasure yourself with just your fingers allows them to picture themselves in the mix. Plus, this is the most natural way to masturbate. Plus, you can still do this while having sex, so the visual will stay with your guy long after you’re finished pleasuring yourself. Toys can, however, be very arousing for a man because you can get the penetrative effect. Watching a woman penetrate herself with a toy will bring to mind what ELSE he would like to have in there! I know, it is really that simple! Men love to watch themselves penetrate you, and this will give them a front row seat to the whole event from a distance. So, pick either or do a little of both – and enjoy every second!
3. TO ORGASM OR NOT TO ORGASM...: That is the question, right? Do you masturbate to climax, or move on to other activities once you are warmed up? Well, either situation works, honestly. However, I highly suggest you both take a least one turn masturbating to completion. With women it is possible that they can have more than one and can therefore move on to sex or other activities. Men, however, will need a refractory period to breathe before they continue, right? When I asked women what they preferred many said that they would prefer their man ejaculate WITH them (inside them or with oral) as opposed to just into their palms. However, some women (including myself) find it fascinating to watch a man ejaculate. It is a very powerful experience and one that can be very arousing. So, if you have never done it, give it a shot at least once.
2. GIVING AND TAKING DIRECTION: Something that can be very arousing is if your partner gives you a little direction. It helps to connect the two of you in the action - which is often a fear holding couples back from mutual or “show and tell” masturbation. If your woman is the one masturbating you could tell her, “pinch your left nipple a little” or “run your fingers slowly over yourself” or, even naughtier, “spread yourself, I want to see you!” – Is it getting hot in here??? Similarly, having your woman help to control your movements a bit can make your masturbation experience completely different. The important thing is that the dialogue fuels the activity and allows the watcher to become participant. Nothing is sexier than that!
1. PARTICIPATION 101: One VERY important thing to remember if you are the watcher is that you need to still participate in this activity (as discussed above). While your partner may be the one doing the masturbating, you are watching and your partner needs to feel like you are enjoying what they are doing. Meaning: Tell them how you feel. Tell her that she is sexy and it is a huge turn on to watch her play with herself. Don’t just stare blankly (or shy away from looking). Let him know that watching him stroke himself to hardness is amazingly hot! Talk to each other – and if the mood strikes – touch YOURSELF! There is no greater compliment than knowing you have turned your partner on so much that they must touch themselves too! Then the delicious process of exhibitionism and voyeurism comes full circle with mutual pleasure!
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