How to Make Him Want You

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a couple in bed together

Before we talk about how to make him want you, we have a question. Have you heard of the term “limerence”? Limerence is the scientific principle of “early relationship bliss”! It is that butterflies in your stomach, giddy all the time, desire to talk to and see each other all the time. Limerence is a temporary state and usually lasts between 6 months and 1 year. Rarely does limerence last longer than this. Usually, however, it lasts longer for the female than it does the male in the relationship. This is because men are built differently than women. They are meant to see what they want, chase what they want, get what they want, and then get comfortable. In short, once they have you, they are mostly content in this. When limerence ends, so do some of those activities and feelings that women love so much. So, when this happens, you need to know how to make him desire you as much as you desire him. Here are just a few ideas.

1. THE PAYOFF OF PRIMPING

a woman primping in the mirror

Remember when you were newly in the relationship and any time you saw your guy, you would wax, shave, put on makeup, wear a thong, a skirt, and a boob top? Yeah, why did you do all of that? You were trying to seduce him, right? RIGHT! So, what happens when we are in a relationship for a long while? We start thinking that our guy has “already seen us in the corset” or that he “loves us how we are.” While these things are probably true, it doesn’t mean that we should come to bed with cold cream on our face, our hair done up in curlers, and with enough stubble on our legs (or bikini area) to cause friction burns! NO, if you want to make him want you, then you need to put in the EFFORT to let him know that sex is an important part of the relationship and that you are willing to put in the effort to make yourself appealing to him. Once he sees the sexy you that he originally lusted after, he will be lusting after you just like before — only more so because now he loves you too!

2. TINY GESTURES

Women are notorious for the tiny gestures they may do when they are first interested in a man. Keep that in mind as you seek to learn how to make him desire you. In the early days, maybe you baked him some cookies or made him a handwritten card, or even wrote him a poem. When was the last time you did this for him? Remind him of the cute side of you and revisit or reword some tiny gestures.

3. TAKE THE LEAD

Ladies, to make him want you, you have to be aggressive in bed sometimes. Yes, you do. You can’t just sit back and wait for him to want to have sex with you, because if you are not putting in the effort or showing HIM that you want him, then he just may not want to have sex with you. Believe it or not, men are sensitive too and they want and need to know that they are desired and lusted after too. This means initiating sex, being aggressive in bed, attacking HIM when he comes home from work, leading HIM into the bedroom. Yup. Let him know that you want him — need him — NOW! Plus, it wouldn’t hurt if you looked smokin’ hot while you did it either. Just sayin’!

4. BE FUN AND FLIRTY

a couple in love

Surely you recall how things were when you first were dating and perhaps before you had sex. The fun and flirty girl who was enticing her man, giggly and seductive. That was a huge part of why your man fell for you — and sometimes we lose that girl in the seriousness of a relationship. Bring her back. That’s a key to understanding how to make him desire you. You both will benefit.

5. BE CONFIDENT

A confident woman is a sexy woman! Confidence is extremely intoxicating to a man, and it can help make him want you. Surely during the chase period, you had confidence. Where did it go? If you maintain confidence or make yourself more confident again, then he will be very excited about the woman he is with.

6. LISTEN TO HIM

Learning how to make him desire you means listening to what he needs. Men need to talk about their day, their stresses, and their worries. They may not do it often, but they will do it when they need to. Make sure when your man wants to talk that you are there to listen. He doesn’t want you to fix him, he just wants you to be there for him.

7. JOIN HIS WORLD

seats in a football stadium

Now that you know about your man — his likes, dislikes, friends, favorite sports teams — you can make him want you by joining in with him. Buy him some surprise tickets for the sports event of his favorite team. Buy a jersey or shirt showing your support and drink beer with him. In essence, be one of the guys with him every so often.

8. PAMPER HIM

Men and women both love to be pampered. Men are not usually as vocal about it. They enjoy having their feet rubbed, or a massage, or even taking a bath (shhh, don’t tell anyone). Men like to be pampered and when you do it, they feel loved and excited that you are part of their life. To figure out how to make him desire you, indulge him a little.

9. TELL HIM WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT HIM

It is such a simple thing to do, but if you tell your man what you love about him, it makes him happy and he realizes that you are really seeing him and appreciating him. It can also make him want you. Hearing (or reading) the reasons you fell for him can revitalize things for him and make him think about all the reasons he loves you.

How Do You Make Him Want You? Let Us Know!


1 comment


  • April Hemphill

    I do all those things and my man still doesn’t desire me at all
    He acts as if I am not shit and he seems to be with other me. Behind my back why


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