This is a question that gets asked a lot – “How do we make sex last longer?” Oftentimes this is due to the male achieving his climax, which effectively “ends” sex. Or, conversely, the female may get sore or dry and ask her partner to “hurry up and finish” which ends sex prematurely. There are many reasons why sex does not last as long as we may like and there are many things you can do to help make sex last longer for both of you. So, if you want to lengthen your lovemaking – take a look at these 5 tips.
FANTASTIC FOREPLAY: OK, we should all think of foreplay as a part of sex. No, it is not the actual penetrative part of sex, but it is a part of the overall sex act. Having deliciously satisfying foreplay helps to achieve 3 things: (1) It feels darn good and primes you both for some hot intercourse (2) it allows most women to have more than one orgasm (or, provides their only orgasm) (3) it gets the female primed and ready for intercourse by providing lubrication from arousal which will effectively cut down on soreness. So, if you needed another reason to go down on your woman before sex – here is a great one – it will allow her to have longer penetration! Plus, you can switch it up with foreplay, then penetration, then more foreplay – make things last much longer and keep you both super aroused!
PROPER POSITIONING: We all have our favorite positions, right? Those positions that create the best feeling, the most enjoyable sex – and for men, the tighter the better! Well, if you are trying to make sex last LONGER then it stands to reason that you may want to delay your favorite positions until the very end! If doggy style really makes you want to climax then avoid that until you are sure you are both ready! If having her on top does it for you – wait until the end! No one is saying that you should never do your favorite positions – just wait until you have pleased each other in many other positions first!
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PRACTICE PATIENCE: I think we can all agree that sex feels GOOD! I mean, really, really, really good! So, of course when having sex we want to orgasm – it is the best part of sex, right? Well, while women can have more than one orgasm most men can’t – so this means patience is important! If you want to give your lover the sex of her lifetime then you have to last more than 2 minutes (incidentally, the Journal of Sexual Medicine reports and average time of 5.4 minutes for actual penetrative sex). So, if you want to go for that 20 minute mark, you have to learn to hold off on your orgasm! How do you do this? Practice patience! Utilize different positions that don’t feel as tight, stop thrusting so vigorously and just go slowly, think about things that are not really sexual (yes, this works) when you feel yourself getting closer. Over time you should be able to last longer during sex!
MISSION: MASTURBATE MORE: Yes, I am advocating MORE masturbation for both men and women! For men the mission is to masturbate to close to orgasm and STOP! Yes, stop pre-ejaculation! Then, start again and build yourself up again – then STOP! Do this as many times as you can and build up to as many times as you can. Test yourself by watching porn or thinking about fantasies that really get you excited. Build your tolerance and strengthen your PC muscles which will, ultimately, allow you to withhold your orgasm during sex! Trust me, it works! For women I want you to masturbate more as well and your mission is to get past the refractory period (post orgasm period) and go for another orgasm! This will allow your body to get used to the post-refractory stimulation which will allow you to continue on during sex without needing to stop after you have orgasmed. This is important if you find yourself becoming “uninterested” in continuing sex post-orgasm, which is often an issue for couples.
SKIP THE “EXTRAS” and USE A CONDOM: OK, by “extras” I am referring to alcohol and drugs (especially Molly or Ecstasy). Why? When you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs you may find it is harder to control your climax (for women and men) and therefore you do not have the control to last longer in bed. For some, alcohol or drugs can have the opposite effect, and make it almost impossible to climax – and NO, I am NOT advocating alcohol or drug use to increase length of sexual intercourse time. I am just suggesting that if the use of these things seems to speed things up – to refrain! Now, I AM suggesting if you have issues with climaxing too fast – almost into the realm of premature ejaculation – that you use a condom. Yes, even if you do not need it for birth control. For many men a condom will cut the sensitivity just enough to make intercourse last a bit longer. The tight squeeze around the shaft combined with the layer between you and her can make climax more difficult. So, if you do not need it for birth control you can use it to make intercourse last longer and then take it off for the main event – ejaculation!
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