Having a baby is one of the absolutely most wonderful and miraculous things a woman can do. Growing an actual tiny human in her uterus, waiting and anticipating for 9 plus long months. Her body morphing and changing as this event occurs. One likely and unwelcome side effect of giving birth is extra weight gain, stretch marks and, sometimes, surgical scars. While there is not a mommy alive who would trade their baby for their pre-pregnancy body, the fact is all of these changes can leave her feeling, well, less than sexy. Add to that sleep deprivation, soreness and, well, being a mom can leave her in an anti-sex state of mind. So, what happens when it is time to have sex again? How do you feel sexy after you have had a baby?
The first rule of post-pregnancy sex is to make sure you are ready. Sometimes women can feel a bit pressured by their occasionally, not-so-patient partners who have waited the required 6 weeks with understanding (hopefully) and now they are ready to have sex again. The thing is, no one can give you the magical day that you will feel like having sex again. Some women feel ready in a few weeks, others it takes months. Her body has gone through a tremendous transformation and no one besides her will know when she is physically ready to have sex. Don’t succumb to the pressure, as that will definitely not make you feel sexy again.
LEARN TO LOVE THE BADGES OF MOTHERHOOD
Stretch marks, swollen boobs, loose skin, extra weight – these are the badges of motherhood! You didn’t get them sitting around eating a carton of ice cream, you had a BABY! You made a being and that is sexy! Come on now! If you look in the mirror every day and think, “God, I am ugly…look at those stretch marks or how big my ass is now” then you are never gonna be sexy! You have to look in the mirror and embrace your new body with the idea that you did something amazing and understand that your partner KNOWS you did this amazing thing! Learn to love those stretch marks, love those bigger boobs, and hey, a plump ass is a beautiful and sexy thing!
How To Have A Great Sex Life When You Have Kids
HE. DOESN’T. NOTICE. BECAUSE, YOU’RE NAKED!
If you think that your partner is grossed out by your stretch marks, your breast-feeding boobs, or your deflated belly, think again! He doesn’t care. First, any smart man knows you just had a baby – duh! Second, any super smart man knows how lucky he is to be in bed with a hot, sexy, MILF! Yep…do you realize that is your new title? You area Mom, so now you are a MILF (mother I’d like to…) oh yeah baby. So, if you think that he is analyzing your cellulite, trying to pretend that he wants you (but is really disgusted by you) – THINK AGAIN! You does want you! He wants to have sex with you! He thinks you are sexy – and a sexy mommy. Yup. So, wanna feel sexy – then feel sexy, because HE thinks you are!
BRING THE SEXY BACK
One way to help you bring yourself back to the sexy realm is to engage in activities that make you FEEL sexy. There is a lot you can do to help yourself along. Such as:
• Go to the gym: not only can going to work out help you with that extra weight you want to lose, but exercise is also a natural anti-depressant and libido booster! That is right! Statistically, the more a person works out, the hornier they get! Score!
• Get pampered: when is the last time you had a mani-pedi? Massage? Went to have a facial? Got your hair done? Oh yeah, it is time to do the post-pregnancy pampering! Make yourself feel externally beautiful (and add in the massage for relaxation) and the internal beautiful feeling will follow. Plus, you EARNED this!
• Buy sexy somethings: we know your body may have changed a bit so it is important to have clothes and sexy somethings that fit your new bod! Play up those bigger boobs with a nice push up bra! Buy a sexy, silky nightgown to wear to bed. Get clothing that fits instead of wearing sweat pants. All of this will help your mind set with the sexy!
LOVE THYSELF – LITERALLY
Maybe you are not quite ready for full on sex with another human….but, you can have sex with BOB (your battery operate boyfriend). BOB doesn’t judge. BOB doesn’t care about stretchmarks. BOB loves you just the way you are. FYI - so does your partner, but if you are not ready to see that yet, then use BOB. Why? Well, because the more orgasms we have, the more we want. The more we want, the sexier we feel. The sexier we feel the more likely we are to put BOB in the drawer and allow our partner back into our va-jay-jay! Yep, truly, works just like that. So BOB or no-BOB (fingers work too) just get to loving yourselves!
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT
While all of these suggestions are good ones, the truth is, no one can MAKE you feel sexy until you DO. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your marriage / relationship is to fake it till you make it. This is not the same as being pressured – you should never engage in sex if you are physically or emotionally not ready. What I mean here is, even if you do not feel as sexy as you would like, try having some intimate contact with your partner. Allow him to seduce you, to caress you, to touch those parts of your body you no longer love so much. See how he still is turned on by you. Having sex will boost your confidence and your sex drive, which will in turn make you feel sexy! So, even if you are not quite feeling as sexy as you would like, fake it till you make it and it will come sooner than you thought!
Let Us Know!