Being confident in one’s self comes in handy in life. Interviewing for a job, performing in your career or even asking a woman out on a date all require self confidence. The higher your self worth, or confidence in yourself, the more likely you are to project an air of confidence to those around you. Being secure and having high self esteem are valuable assets to have in life. However, what if your confidence level is not as high as you would like? What if something has occurred that makes you feel less confident than you would like? Well, this lack of confidence can easily trail off into the bedroom as well. When a man suffers from low self confidence (or self esteem) then he is likely to see the effects on his sex life. These are things that he and his partner should be aware of in order to counteract these effects.
PHYSICAL SELF ESTEEM: If a person deems themselves to be “less than attractive” it can most definitely effect their self confidence in all things from job interviews, to making friends and most definitely to approaching women. Or, one’s physical strength or athletic build. It is hard to feel powerful and sexual when you feel that you are not an attractive male or are “weak” in the eyes of other males. Men who feel inwardly that they are not attractive sometimes find it difficult to be confident in the bedroom, which obviously can cause many issues. The important thing to remember is that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – to use a cliché. This does hold true. While you may feel that you are not as attractive as your best buddy, women may disagree with you! If you have made it to the stage where she wants to kiss you then odds are she finds you attractive! The important thing to do here is to constantly put those feelings of low physical self esteem out of your mind! Positive reinforcement is key here.
Also, if there is something about your physical self that you find less than appealing, change it! Start going to the gym, find a diet plan, stop smoking – make positive changes in yourself that can help build that self confidence from the physical level! Feeling better about yourself can help body AND mind. Gals, it is important that you tell your partner that you find him attractive, sexy, and strong. Women are not the only sex that needs reinforcement with our physical appearance – men do too. A man will feel more confident with you in bed if he knows that you find him attractive!
How Her Self-Esteem Can Influence Her Sexual Drive
SELF DEPRECATING: When we are self deprecating we make fun of ourselves in a manner that is meant to be humorous, but the gist is we believe what we are saying about ourselves. Men with a low self confidence will often make fun of themselves in this way, as it seems they are making light of the fact that they may be overweight, have lost their job or their girlfriend dumped them. While this can be a helpful way to get over the sting of a negative experience, doing this in public or around a love interest is a sure way to kill the sexual vibe.
A man who is self deprecating will have a hard time realizing his potential sexually when the opportunity arises (pun intended). A man who makes fun of himself too much is sure to have a lack of sexual confidence. Even worse, if he continues the self deprecating behavior in the bedroom it can be a giant turn off for the woman as well! No woman wants to hear jokes about her lovers “big Santa-like belly” or “teeny-tiny pee-pee” while trying to get down to sexual business. A lack of self confidence that emits in this way is not healthy when done in excess or, most definitely, when done in the presence of his sexual partner.
SIZE DOES MATTER: While women can tell their man until she is blue in the face that “size doesn’t matter” the truth is, it DOES – to HIM. Men know where their penis falls on the “size” spectrum. They realize if they are gifted – or not so gifted – in the penis department. Men have googled “average penis size” and have pulled out the tape measure to see if their little man is really little or not. Size matters to men. So, what happens when his penis is on the smaller side? Well, this can obviously affect self confidence in the bedroom. It is important to realize that when you go to a gunfight it is not always important how big the gun is, but instead how well you can use it.
Men, learn to adapt to your personal penile size. What you may lack in size you could make up for in enthusiasm! There are other parts of your body that you can use to satisfy your partner besides your penis! The lack of self confidence in the bedroom will kill the mood much faster than the size of your member. So, if this is a cause for low self confidence, turn the tables! Go into any sexual situation thinking you are the best lover around and give her the attention she desires! Don’t worry about your penis size – enjoy sex – and both of you will be happy and satisfied in the end.
NO SKILLS / NO GAME: What if your lack of self confidence comes from the fact that you have NO idea what to do in the bedroom? What if you just feel you are awful at pleasing your partner? You think you have ‘no game’ in the bedroom! Well, this can definitely affect his self life because if you feel you are bad at something how can you have confidence when doing that activity? You can’t! So, how can he remedy this? LEARN! READ! PRACTICE! Yes. Sex is a skill guys and if you feel less than confident in your skills you need to practice them. Just like with any sport you ever tried to become proficient at, you can practice sex! Read articles (tons here on TooTimid) you can ask your buddies, watch some porn (yes, there are tricks to be learned there guys) and you can play with your partner and ask her what she likes! Practice makes perfect – and you can practice sex. Surely your confidence will grow with each experience!
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