11 Tips For Talking Dirty With Confidence

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Black and white photo of couple in an intimate embrace in bed

Talking dirty to your lover can be an absolutely stimulating addition to your sex life! A little well placed dirty talk (or even dirty texting) can amp up sex to a new level. It is not as easy as you would think, though, and many people shy away from it because they feel that they sound stupid or corny. Perhaps you feel stupid saying ANYTHING at all during sex. If you want to add a little naughty talk to your bedroom antics here are some tips to help.

1. Communicate & Find Out What's Off-Limits

Before you get into any kind of dirty talk, it's important to make sure you know the boundaries your partner has. There are some dirty words that people really cannot stand and would be a huge turn off in bed. So it's important to know which words to avoid. For example, some enjoy being called a "slut" in bed and some hear the word "slut" and get drier than the Sahara desert down there.

It's also important to know which words are a huge turn on for your partner. What words do they want you to use when you're talking about their body? Cock, dick, pussy, tits, etc. Being aware of this will make the dirty talk experience so much more pleasurable for both of you. 

2. Start With Sexting To Ease Into It

Sexting is an amazing way to ease yourself into dirty talk. It's always easier to send a text than say something directly to someone's face. So start with sexting before you dive into the deep end. Here are a few simple sexts that will help ease your way into a sexy convo:

“Last night I had the dirtiest dream...and you were in it"
“I can't stop thinking about what I want to do to you”
“I'm laying in bed thinking of you...guess what else I'm doing?”
“I found some sex positions we should try, I'm gonna send them over”

3. Be Confident & Do What Works Best For You

If you are new to the world of the naughty speak then you will likely need to start slowly and work up to the more raunchy talk. There are many things you can say that will be arousing and “naughty” without being over the top dirty. The most important thing is to be confident in what you are saying. If you are giggling or laughing, that can be a turn off! You need to try and ease yourself into it and enjoy what you are saying. Use words and phrases that turn YOU on as well as your lover.

4. Be Descriptive

The easiest way to begin dirty talking is to use words and phrases that describe how you feel while you are with your lover or convey how much you love sex with them. For example:

"Oh baby, that feels so good!”
“I love when you use your tongue like that!”
“You look so sexy tonight I can’t wait to get my hands on you!”
“I love when you are inside of me!”
“I love making love with you!”

5. Remember to Ask Questions

For some people the act of dirty talk is more of a conversational activity where the person talking dirty wants some response from their partner. This can really get things heated up if both of you are ready and willing to engage in some dirty banter. Try this:

“Do you like how my cock feels inside of you baby?”
“Can you feel how fucking wet my pussy is for you?"
“Would you like to swallow my cum baby?”
“Is my pussy sweet tonight honey? Does it taste good?”

6. Tell Them What You're Going To Do

Something else to try is to lean in and whisper into their ear exactly what dirty things you are about to do to them. This is your chance to tease them until they're literally begging you to do what it is you promised you were going to do. Here are a few examples:

“I'm going to make you scream from pleasure"
“I'm going to lick this pussy so good”
“I'm going to suck every last bit of cum out of you”

7. Be Commanding

Many times what makes dirty talk so erotic and sexy is that it conveys a certain type of immediate need that must be fulfilled! You NEED this person so badly that you can’t help but command them to do something. Here are some ideas: 

“I need you to lick my pussy right now!”
“I need your hard cock inside me at this moment!”
“Turn over so I can fuck that beautiful pussy!”
“Put your cock in my mouth I need to suck you now!”

8. Don't Focus On Size, Use Other Adjectives

If you're having sex with a penis-owner, as a general rule of thumb it's best to just stay away from adjectives that focus on the size of the member. Unless they specifically told you that turns them on, just stay away from it to be safe. Instead focus on adjectives that focus on how hard and how stiff it is for you.

9. Naughtify The Vocabulary

Keep your dirty talk sexy by using bold, sexual terms that are sure to turn your partner on! Using technical terms like “penis” and “vagina” is not sexy. Nope. If you can’t use the more dirty versions of the words than stay clear of any phrase that requires it! Try something like:

“Mmmmmm baby, my pussy is so wet for you!”
“I love it when you put your hard cock inside of me!”
“Oh my God am I hard and thick for you baby!”
“Your tits are fucking amazing!”

10. How You Say It Is Important

The words alone are not what is going to send your partner over the edge. It is also how it is said. Whispers in the ear during an embrace, or breathless moans and exclamations of how good it feels, or even a little growl followed by a “you taste so good” can really send a sexy message! Keep your voice tone low and sensual, use the inflections of your voice to convey the erotic nature of what is going on, and make sure you alter your voice from standard speaking.

11. Don't Be Afraid To Use One-Liners

Coming up with something to say in the heat of the moment, especially when you're realllly into it, can be tough. Your brain is going a million miles a minute in all different directions. So, if you're overwhelmed and not sure what to say - go with a one-liner! Hit your partner with a "harder", "faster", "more", "deeper", "louder" or even the classic "YES!"

Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? Oh lord! Now that you know how to talk dirty in the bedroom without feeling awkward or sounding corny, take this advice and use it to blow your lover's mind in the bedroom tonight! And remember, confidence is key! 

How Do You Like To Use Dirty Talk?


4 comments


  • Ang

    My partner enjoys the “sweet talk” but I find it also turns him on when I get authoritative with it and say something like, “shut the F-up and lick my pussy!”


  • Ang

    My partner enjoys the “sweet talk” but I find it also turns him on when I get authoritative with it and say something like, “shut the F-up and lick my pussy!”


  • Francis L Green

    All of your tips are absolutely correct. I asked my partner if she likes me “talking dirty” and she does. She says it turns her on during foreplay and actually fucking.


  • Albert Godley-Davis

    Using ‘fuck’ or ‘fucking’ has gotten so commonplace it’s lost its impact. It’s no longer an expletive, just a word that’s meant to sound sexy, but really sounds like a porno script. (Or maybe I’ve just been watching too much porno.) Of course if it really is an expletive, like ‘O God, shit!, Fuck! I’m coming!‘, it’s OK. Well, you knew that – I’m just sayin’.


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