Until my mid twenties, sex for me consisted of making out, some stick handling of the penis a bit of “tune in Tokyo” on the breasts and then wham—intercourse. There was nothing fabulous or amazing about sex. No one talked about sex or sexuality outside the occasional bawdy joke. A woman must love her girlfriends if not for the simple reason that they add valuable information to the roundtable discussions that occur over coffee. “Did he run his tongue along the inside of your thigh? I LOOOOVE when they do that!” I looked at my friend, stunned that she had asked me such a question. Not because I found it intrusive, but because I had never experienced such a thing and she obviously had. I tried to hide my jealousy, “On my thigh?” “No better place,” she said as she took a sip of her latte. “Inner thigh, lower back, nape of my neck—I’m really not that picky.” An hour later I was strung out on caffeine and laden with new knowledge: foreplay.
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THE IMPORTANCE OF THE CLITORIS: The clitoris is a well known, yet poorly attended to erogenous zone. I’m not just picking on the men here; many women don’t even know where their clit is. So that we’re off to a winning start let me explain where the clitoris (clit) can be found. Hidden behind the labia majora and labia minora (lips) of a woman’s vulva (a woman’s genitalia: labias, clitoris, clitoral hood, urethra, vagina) is a small pea-sized “button”. THIS is the clitoris. As I have said before the clit is a remarkable female feature. It’s got only one job—and job it is! The clitoris has only one function in life and that is to provide pleasure for a woman. Now that you know where to find the clitoris you need to know how to maneuver the clitoris. To be honest, once you’ve actually found the clit it’s really not that hard to use it. You may be thinking, “But Jen, I’ve played with her clit before and it doesn’t do anything for her.” Well, there’s a good chance what you were playing with wasn’t her clit. True story. I didn’t discover masturbation until later in life, or better yet, I didn’t feel comfortable with masturbation until later in life. I fiddled and diddled and rubbed as best as I could, but I never experienced an orgasm. Then one day, my finger slips a bit and I find myself between the lips, a bit deeper than usual. BINGO! My God, it was like touching a live wire! I knew what I had as soon as I felt it. The thing that killed me was that I thought I had been rubbing my clit the entire time—it’s my own body for Pete’s sake, shouldn’t I know where my clit is? But I didn’t! So as I said, once you find the actual clitoris I doubt you’ll have any difficulty playing!
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A WOMAN'S G-SPOT: We’ve found the clit now can you tell me where to find the G-spot? This one may be a bit tougher. Even I was mistaken at first. I always thought that the clit was a woman’s G-spot. The first time I saw a G-spot vibrator I knew I was misinformed. Why would a person need a long and tilted vibrator to get to such a visible spot like the clit? I made a mental connection and actually did the silent “ooooh” while nodding my head in understanding. The clit and the G-spot weren’t the same thing—fine I could deal with that. Then where the hell was the G-spot? A little research and some hands on experimentation told me what I needed to know. A woman’s G-spot is found fairly far up inside of the vagina. While a bit difficult to reach on one’s own with out the aid of a toy, a partner can locate the G-spot much easier. The best suggestion I can give on finding a woman’s G-spot is to place one or two fingers inside of her vagina with the palm of your hand facing up. Then pull your fingers towards you as if you were gesturing to someone to come towards you. Ultimately what you are going to do is “tickle” the top or roof of the vagina. The G-spot is often found further back rather than close to the vaginal opening. It may take a while to uncover your partner’s G-spot hiding place, but when you do I guarantee you both will be pleased with the results.
A WOMAN'S NECK: I guarantee you. Ask any woman and I’ll bet nine out of ten of them will tell you that getting kissed at the base of the neck (and a bit to the side) will send shivers down their spines. It’s even more fabulous to have someone brush your hair away from your neck and then kiss it. Can’t tell ya why—just something about it. Makes me blush just thinking about it. The neck is one of the best places to start with, since it's so sensitive but seemingly so innocent. Try licking it gently and then blowing wherever you lick. Trust me. She will go absolutely crazy for it. You can even take it a little lower and start nibbling on her collar bone after you have her squirming. After that, go even lower and start playing with her breasts. The neck is a perfect place to lead into other, more erotic forms of foreplay! I wish I could give you more on this sexual zone, but the act itself speaks volumes. Just try it.
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A WOMAN'S NIPPLE: If I hadn’t been able to actually see my nipples I might not have even known that they were there—at least in the bedroom. Nothing anyone ever did to my nipples got me aroused. I wanted to be aroused, trust me, but nothing ever seemed to work. Ok, not true. ONCE something worked. About seven years ago I got my nipple pierced and I skimmed the edge of a full fledge orgasm right there in the chair. A little rhythm breathing, a dash of body piercing, stir and –tada! Orgasm. But that was extreme; I needed to bring that titillation (laugh with me here) into my bedroom, but how? Seven years later I figured it out (who said I was a fast learner?) I was in the middle of some heavy petting with my partner when he began to sweep his tongue back and forth over my nipples. I couldn’t actually feel him doing it, but I could see him. I’d tuned out mentally for a bit when all of a sudden his teeth made contact with my nipple. I squeaked out a soft “ouch” which he responded to with, “I’m sorry.” I told him it was ok and immediately realized, yes it was ok. It was so ok that I asked him to do it again! And again! I’d found the golden ticket to nipple delight! It wasn’t until the next day that the bedroom incident fully hit me. I replayed the evening in my head, bowled over by what I concluded. I could become sexually aroused through nipple play—it just couldn’t be “light” play, it had to be more of a gritty play, if you will. I took my new found understanding back into the bedroom the following evening and put it to the test. I asked my partner to do everything he had always done before, but to add some might to it. After a half an hour he had to pry me from the ceiling. The nipple is a tremendous spot on the sexual playing field (the body)—for both females and males. Whether you enjoy light stimulation or more insistent stimulation the nipple is a wonderful portal to sexual adventures. The tongue, teeth, lips, and fingers are all tools that can be used. Spicing up your play time can easily be done with the help of toys and lubricants. Rubbing nipple arousal gel on your partner and then blowing over the top of the nipple will send a chill of excitement down their spine. Vibrating nipple clamps may not be for the timid, but they will certainly add new thrills to any couple’s relationship.
Where Is Your Woman's Most Sensitive Spot?
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