Do YOU want to bring SEXY back to your bedroom? Have you been feeling sort of ‘blah?’ Has the fire left your sex life? Well, let me tell you – you CAN bring Sexy back – and reignite your sexual fires! There are some little known, sure fire, sexual secrets that every woman should know about if she is feeling a little…..less. No woman should ever relinquish their personal sexuality and sensuality – read on and reclaim your sexual self!
Posted by TooTimid Staff to "How To" Guides
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SEXUALITY VERSUS SENSUALITY: Many women are under the misconception that sexuality and SENsuality are the same. They are NOT. Sensuality is something that comes from the inside – it is your inner sex goddess. Sexuality is more of an external perception, or how you ‘feel’ about sex in general. Think about what you would classify as sensual: the feeling of silky pajamas, a hot bubble bath, a slow massage. Now, think about things you would classify as sexual: erotic images, sexy lingerie, overt confidence. The difference between these two concepts is minimal – but distinctive. For a woman to bring sexy back to herself, she needs a balance of sensual AND sexual. To make yourself feel sensual you have to bring the image of soft and pretty INSIDE as well as OUTSIDE. You should be able to internalize the feeling, but to do so you have to take care of the outside. Feeling good about yourself takes a magical concoction of things: health, vigor, beauty and confidence.
When I say ‘health’ I don’t mean ‘stick thin’ I mean, maintenance. Taking a daily walk, going to the gym, swimming – any type of exercise can really boost your inner spirit.
WORK IT OUT: Exercise is also a proven aphrodisiac! When we get that adrenaline pumping and know we are doing good for ourselves and we get aroused! Eating healthy – eating good foods that make us feel good. These things improve our mental state as well as our physical state. You do not have to weigh 100 pounds to be ‘healthy’ and you can always be in a state of reinvention and rejuvenation. ‘Vigor’ implies an everlastingness, strength and determination. This means whatever age you are, you are living to the fullest! Enjoying life, family, friends and SEX. Feeling vigorous is important to sensuality because if we feel “less than” we are not going to internally feel sexy and externally we are going to appear uninterested and down. IF you are depressed – you are not vigorous. Try to find happiness in your day. Be grateful for the things you have – and for the people who love you. Look at life as an adventure, not a chore. Every day is a gift, and we should treat ourselves as the gift we are.
PLAY IT UP: ‘Beauty’ is not about physical attributes as much as it is what you do with what you’ve got. This means playing up your best assets, taking care of yourself externally and internally. Using make-up, skin moisturizers, well fitting clothes, sexy undies – a combination of internal and external. ALL women are beautiful in their own way. Taking note of what your assets are and playing them up with accents is the best way to feel your personal best. Buy some new clothes, sexy bras and panties, new earrings. Women can make themselves feel beautiful just by accessorizing! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and you have to behold yourself first and foremost and internalize that feeling. This is the softness in sensualness.
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CONFIDENCE IS SEXY: Once you have these things taken care of you have to exude confidence. Very few women truly feel 100% confident, but you would never know it! If you are confident on the OUTSIDE, you will feel more confident on the INSIDE. Trust me, it works! I am a woman who exudes outside confidence, even though on the inside I might be feeling less than confident! Confidence is a fluctuating event. IF you have gained weight, lost a job, got dumped – all these things and more can make you feel less confident. These things happen to ALL women – so take it in stride and never loose your confidence. Show the confidence from the outside in by being soft, feminine, sensual, in charge and vigorous. The rest will follow.
FEEL SEXY, BE SEXY: Alternatively, feeling SEXUAL is quite different. Many women say, “I just don’t feel sexual.” What does this mean? Basically, they have little interest in sex – it isn’t important to them. This is not the same as libido – a woman can have great libido and NOT feel sexual. Sexuality is a combination of subconscious feelings, conscious choice and making “time” for sex. For many women, children, household responsibilities, work, extra curricular needs all take precedence over sex. Women function in many different roles – mother, wife, caretaker, career woman, housewife – all simultaneously. While men have many of the same responsibilities as women, most men do not do everything a woman does. It is just the make-up of our society. Many women are bred to believe that housework is women’s work, children are raised mostly by MOM, they take care of their parents, and they have to be a wife. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT MEN DON’T do all these things – it just seems that women are always in these dual roles and sex falls way, way, WAY down on the list for them.
SEX IS SELF-CARE: Many women (not all) find it hard to balance Mommy and Sex Goddess. Some women even take a sex break for their children’s formidable years. Why? If you are ignoring YOUR needs (note I wrote YOUR needs, not that of your partner) then what good are you serving? Your marriage or relationship needs sex in it. You need it, your partner needs it. Healthy marriages and families are built on sex filled relationships. When Mommy and Daddy are sexually fulfilled, life is happy. Conversely, when they are unfulfilled, it is not a happy life. So, if for whatever reason you are not feeling sexual, you have to reclaim it. Make sex a priority. I'm talking about ALL women. Married, single, dating – all women need a sexual outlet. This means masturbation and sex with partners. It is a proven fact that having more sex (good, fulfilling sex) makes you feel more sexual. So, how do we accomplish this? We take the tools of making ourselves feel sensual – then we have sex and make sure we are enjoying it. Make sure your partner is tending to your needs – and you to his – and ORGASM! Orgasms are WONDERFUL on so many levels – and the more you have, the more you will want! So, the number one way to feel sexual? ORGASM! You can masturbate more frequently and orgasm –this will make your sexual appetite stronger. You can make sure your partner knows how to make you orgasm, or you can give him a little help during sex. Reclaim your sexuality and sensuality and make sure sex is not only a part of your life – but an important part!
PLEASURE THYSELF: Once we have the ideals of sensuality and sexuality squared away we have to remember that sex is supposed to be PLEASURABLE! How can any woman bring sexy back if sex sucks? Again, how do we make ourselves want sex if we do not find it enjoyable? Well, first make sure that you are comfortable with self pleasure. Yes, that means masturbation baby! Being able to enjoy your own body, your own sexual responses, the feelings that we get from self gratification is the first step in being happy with sex. Masturbation is taboo for many women – and many find it “unnecessary” when they are in a relationship. Ladies, let me tell you one thing: MASTURBATION IS NECESSARY! When we are in touch and in tune with our own bodies we can have easier and greater sexual responses. To do this, we have to know how our body reacts to touch, stimulation and desire. So, if you want to bring the sexy back into your bedrooms make sure you are very, very, VERY in touch with your own body – then share that knowledge with your partner!
BE THE SEDUCTRESS: We always have to remember that outside appearances affect inside feelings and vice versa. This means, if we are confident and feeling sexy on the INSIDE, we will portray that on the outside. Conversely, if you are feeling like you look good on the outside (nice haircut, make-up, sexy clothes) you will feel more sexy on the INSIDE.
So, if you have the inside matching the outside (sounds sort of Tai Chi-ish don’t it?) then you can be a seductress and be in control of your sex life. How do you become a seductress? You act – no, you ARE, confident, sexy, sensual, in control and passionate. You tell your partner what YOU want and how you want it. Not in a demanding sort of way, but in a sexy, ‘woman in control’ sort of way. Or, you silently show him what you desire. Sex is about two people connecting – seducing a man is about actions, words, silent hints, pleasure. If you want to seduce him, then make him think that he is THE only man in the room and you want to sleep with him – then, make him grateful that he gets to sleep with YOU! For many women, this type of power play can be hard. They may not be aggressive people or may be timid or shy. Let me tell you –this is not about aggression – this is about being in control of your own sexiness. This is about allowing yourself to be pleasured while pleasuring another. Women who know how to talk about sex and express their needs, desires and wants are very appealing to men. When your man notices that you have become the seductress, he will become the seduct-ee! Trust me when I say this, your sex will become hot, urgent and will be taken to a new, higher level! Then, because your sex was so great you will want it more – and so will he! You will have brought sexy BACK baby!
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CARRY ON: So, in conclusion – make your insides match your outsides. Be the perfect combo of sensual and sexual – confident, smooth, sweet, beautiful, strong and vigorous! Learn to please yourself – and then pleasure your partner! Share what you know about your own body with your partner. Seduce not only yourself, but also your partner. Bring sexy back into your bedrooms by being empowered enough in your womanhood and yourself to care enough to do it! Sex will be great, new and exciting – and the sexy will never leave again!
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