Despite what some people may think, achieving orgasm is not “easy.” Orgasm is a fairly complex physical and physiological event in which stimulation meets emotion. Especially for women, orgasm can be elusive, despite our enjoyment of the act of sex or foreplay. However, there are some ways to help ensure a greater chance of reaching orgasm (cause nothing is a guarantee in this realm) as well as having a deeper or even more frequent orgasms.
1. Connection, Connection, Connection
While it is sometimes fun to have sex in the bathroom with that guy who bought you a drink at the bar, it is unlikely you will achieve orgasm during that encounter. Why? There is no connection. While sex can feel fantastic with a brand new partner, there is a lack of connection (emotionally and physically) with that person. He does not know you, nor your body. To increase your chances of having orgasm, form a connection with the person with whom you are having sex! Where the mind is the body will often follow.
2. Let Go, Let O
I am a high strung person (and a bit of a control freak) who is oftentimes very into pleasing my partner, but not always concerned with myself. So, when it comes to my turn to enjoy and O, I have to remind myself to just LET GO! Enjoy the sensations, the touch of my partner. Relax, breath and allow my body to do what it was meant to do- CLIMAX!
3. To One’s Own-self Be True
Let’s be honest here, we women know how to make ourselves orgasm. We know just the speed and pressure it takes to rub our clitoris, how much to spread our legs, what toys we like. We know how to self pleasure – so we have to show our partners the same things. Yes, that is right. You need to show your partner where you like to be touched, if you like to be sucked instead of licked, if you need your legs pushed back and if fingering might help you. Be true to how YOU like it and do not be shy about showing your partner.
What To Do If You Can't Orgasm
4. Leave Your Troubles Behind
Women are complex creatures with a myriad of responsibilities: Mom, wife, Employee, Housewife, Chauffer, Doctor...the list goes on and on. So, sometimes, when it comes time to be lover we have trouble leaving all the other responsibilities outside the bedroom door. As mentioned, orgasm is more than just a physical reaction, it is an emotional one. If we are trying to have sex with our partner while running through the grocery list in our mind we are most likely not going to climax! So, when you are spending intimate time with your partner, let everything else go, just for a little while, and BE in the moment with your partner!
5. Must Admit; Rub the Clit
I have said this a thousand times in my years at TooTImid, 85% of ALL women NEED clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. It is just the way our bodies are built. There are about 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris that when stimulated cause orgasm. For many women, intercourse alone does not provide enough stimulation to reach orgasm. It very well may feel amazing, but we will not climax. So, don’t be shy ladies, rub your clit! First of all, your guy will love that you are touching yourself and he will love it even more when he feels you clench in orgasm! It is what the clitoris was made for, so do it and go forth and orgasm!
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